Talk:York/GA1

GA Review

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Notes:

Toponymy

"The most widely accepted theory is therefore..." sounds very weaselly, even if it is the most widely accepted theory Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
"The name 'Eboracum' became 'Eoforwic' to the Anglian rulers of the 7th century." I'm not sure what that means - "became to the rulers..."? Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Two final sentences are unreferenced.

Post conquest:

"William the Conqueror at once built two fortresses on mottes in the city, either side of the river - still visible." This sentence needs work. Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Modern history:

I'm not sure an external link in the middle of a sentence is appropriate. I'm not sure the name of the section is suitable either - it won't always be modern. Done --Harkey (talk) 16:00, 17 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Local government:

First three parts are unreferenced, as is the last paragraph. I'm not sure the first paragraph should stand on its own. Done
"The Liberal Democrats have 20 councillors and in May 2007 they formed a minority administration, and an executive of 9 councillors and the Labour Party formed the Opposition with 18 councillors." Sentence is far too long, and all those ands do not help it flow well. Done
National government/law courts/twin cities all unreferenced.

Location:

"York lies within the Vale of York, a flat area of fertile arable land bordered by the Pennines, the North York Moors and the Yorkshire Wolds, at the confluence of the Rivers Ouse and Foss on a terminal moraine left by the last Ice Age" is one long sentence, please split it up or reword it so it flows better. Done

City districts and surrounding villages:

Too listy - needs more prose there. Doing... --Harkey (talk) 17:58, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Harkey (talk) 08:33, 12 June 2009 (UTC) Climate:[reply]

"In summer the average maximum temperature is 22 °C (72 °F) although some days can see highs of up to 28 °C (82 °F) but nights are significantly colder averaging minimum of 15 °C (60 °F), although these can consistently dip below 10 °C (50 °F) on colder summer nights." Two althoughs in one sentence, please reword or split. Done

Demography:

Needs huge expansion... Done

Economy:

Again, I'm not sure it is appropriate to have external links like that in the middle of prose. Done

Education:

Mostly unsourced, with two citation needed tags. Done
"The University of York also boasts..." sounds like something out of a travel guide... Done
"specialising in more vocational subjects such as Horticulture, Agriculture, Animal Management and even Golf Course Management." Why are the subjects capitalised? Done
"In January 2009 the school hopes to move back to the Oaklands site on Cornlands Road." Did they? Didn't they? Please update. Done

Road transport:

Spelling of "mediaevel" ought to be consistent throughout. Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]
No reference for first paragraph.

Air transport:

"Elvington's long runway means that it would be suitable for such use - indeed, the site is used as an alternate landing site for the Space Shuttle." Needs restructuring and a source. CUT Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Local public transport:

Second part is very listy. Done

Sites of interest:

Only two references. Done More added.--Harkey (talk) 08:33, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Theatre:

"York has a number of theatres, the Theatre Royal, the Grand Opera House and Joseph Rowntree Theatre." Is that all of them, or just some? The sentence isn't complete. Done --Harkey (talk) 17:59, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]
Section is unsourced. Done --Harkey (talk) 17:59, 19 May 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Music/Media/Sports:

No references, and media has a tag. Doing...--Harkey (talk) 08:33, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC) Noted York people:[reply]

Should be put into prose, rather than a list. CUT Done --Harkey (talk) 17:32, 12 June 2009 (UTC)[reply]

This is good so far, and is well-deserving of its B-class tag, but I'm sorry to say I don't think this is near enough GA quality.

1a - clear prose. I think it does this for the most part, but I have highlighted a few problems I spotted, and there are probably more I missed.
1b - again, mostly, but there are some listy sections, and odd paragraph cuts.
2a and b - there are numerous sections that lack any kind of sources, and there are a few citation needed tags. I don't believe it passes this.
2c - again, I don't know, because numerous parts are unsourced.
3a - possibly. I saw no mention at all of Treasurer's House, which I visited the other week, which was disappointing.
3b - I think this is ok.
4 - some parts sound as though they are from a travel guide - and there are/were cases of unnecessary usage of adjectives, which I've removed instances of when I saw them.
5 - passes this ok.
6 - I think the images are great.

So, this is a decent article, but I don't think it is quite ready for GA status quite yet. I notice there has been no peer review for this article - it really could do with a thorough copyedit from a third party, in addition to fixing the issues above. Good luck with it, Majorly talk 21:17, 17 April 2009 (UTC)[reply]