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Reviewer: Chiswick Chap (talk · contribs) 15:14, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I'll have a go at this one. Chiswick Chap (talk) 15:14, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

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  • I note the link to "cryptid" in the first sentence but still wonder if we shouldn't say "reported pseudoscientifically" or something of the sort. Whatever.
I mean it is a cryptid since there are modern "eye-witnesses", like bigfoot or the Jersey Devil   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is "wed" different from "rape" in this context?
Wed implies you never get freed, and the source uses "wed", which is why those particular stories tend to refer to the cryptid as the "wild wives" rather than the "wild men"   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Ingenious.
  • Perhaps "to address deforestation...".
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is yeren singular, plural, or both? We have it both ways in lead and Antiquity definitions. Could remove one of the two, of course.
it's the direct phonetic spelling from Chinese which typically doesn't have plural markers, and certainly yeren is not one of the exceptions   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
OK, then could we just harmonise the two different definitions - e.g. they could both say "man/men", for instance, or we could just have one definition and drop the other.
it's not like all English words have plural markers either (especially for loan words), like moose   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  19:41, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I'm not disagreeing, it's just that the two presentations (still) make it *look* different.
  • Does "and similar creatures" add anything in this article? I guess from the context that the article's scope is here being negotiated, and that it's a bit wider than the yeren itself. Perhaps it would be wise to introduce the paragraph with a few words about scope so that it's clear that this isn't a digression.
Because "yeren" directly translates to "wild man" but similar creatures referred to by different though still names have been discussed through antiquity (like "hairy men", "ape", etc.)
  • "reports of "wildmen" become more frequent in the Táng Dynasty (618–907 CE), though they are quite inconsistent in how visually human they are" uses "they" in two different ways.
where is that?   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Sorry, typo, try the above ...
fixed   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  19:41, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "which mention a fast-moving, long-haired..." could drop the "which"?
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "In 650 CE ... hairy men ... maoren ........... If you drink the blood of the feifei..." - is the feifei here equated with maoren, or does the quote need to be moved up? Perhaps also ref [1] needs to be repeated after each bulleted paragraph.
I mean they're all sorta jumbled into the same general creature (there's no strict definition on what any of these names refer to anyways) but I moved it up   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Guess the point is, when we describe chaos in an article, we don't want to participate and propagate the chaos ourselves ...
  • "conspicuous sites" - should be "sights".
fixed   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is "Though, the earliest..." standard in AE? It would deffo be wrong in BE. Really, the clause beginning with "though" is part of the preceding sentence. Same happens with "Though, this was not a ubiquitous notion" below.
You should be able to but but and though at the beginning of a sentence   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "covered in tawny hair": perhaps "it is covered ...".
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Tibetan" links to a dab page.
fixed   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "included the yeti ... linked the yeti with the yeren". Perhaps some care is needed here to emphasise that this article is distinct from Yeti?
better?   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Such stories of yěrén, ghosts, and spirits could also impair ...". Perhaps "were held to impair"?
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "Mao became the only scientist"? He was one?
added   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
You mean Pei not Mao? Mao was the country's leader.
no, Mao Guangnian   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  08:58, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Had to read that three times. I've disambiguated Guāngnián, hope that's ok, it makes it a lot clearer for at least one reader!
  • "chalked up apemen testimonies": Perhaps "ascribed ...".
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "manatees inspired mermaid stories": "possibly inspired".
"inspired some mermaid stories"   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "a laborious society": is this a standard AE usage of the adjective?
as an American, this is how I spell laborious   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Q is meaning not spelling. It usually means toilsome, burdensome. Suggest 'work-oriented' or similar unless your term is standard among anthropologists.
It's more communist terminology than anthropological   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  19:41, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Getting close to requiring attribution and citation, in that case!
  • Ref 1, Smith 2021, seems to be incompletely cited. At least could we wikilink Sino-Platonic Papers, and mention it is monograph number 309, pages 1-20; perhaps we should say it's March 2021 also.
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Ref 2, Schmalzer 2008, is a whole book. Page numbers are needed for the 16 instances, certainly not all the same.
I'm only citing 1 chapter   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  23:13, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Then the chapter title/number and preferably its page range need to be shown.
chapter name already is   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  07:43, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I see. Would still like chapter number at least, preferably page range as is standard practice.
done   User:Dunkleosteus77 |push to talk  19:41, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Summary

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A fascinating article, and it'll soon be a worthy GA. Good work. Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:52, 7 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Dunkleosteus77: All done. Good work, I think readers will really enjoy this one. Chiswick Chap (talk) 20:09, 8 July 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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