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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:Yazdegerd II/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Gog the Mild (talk · contribs) 15:18, 10 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

I have made some bold copy edits. Please feel free to flag up anything you are not happy with.

  • The coin images also need 3D licences. Putting {{PD-old-100}} and {{PD-US}} on both should do it.
  • Vartanantz.jpg needs a USPD tag.
  • Could the sources go in alphabetical order.
  • Caption: "battle of Avarayr". Upper case B.
  • "After his wars against the Hephthalites" Do we know how they ended? Who won? Was there a treaty?
  • "who had a uneasy relationship with the aristocracy" This is the third time the article says more or less the same thing. It gets a bit repetitive. Maybe take the first two sentences of "War" and put them here?
  • "Indeed, according to McDonough, the Zoroastrian faith was presumably a "test of personal loyalty" for Yazdegerd II." I'm not sure about "presumably". Does McDonough say that it was a "test of personal loyalty" or not?
  • Why is McDonough not a source?
  • Who wrote "test of personal loyalty"? Currently it is cited to Sauer.

That's from a first run through. Could you have a look at these? Gog the Mild (talk) 15:18, 10 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]

We just know that Yazdegerd II managed to secure the eastern portion of his empire from the Hephthalite threat (which I've now added), as sources unfortunately don't into detail regarding that event. Also, in the source by Saur, he is quoting something said by McDonough; "Zoroastrian belief, as McDonough points out, may have been a 'test of personal loyalty' for Yazdegerd." Btw, I'm not sure I get what you mean regarding the first two sentences part. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:56, 10 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks for that. It is looking good.
  • Sources: You have "Shahbazi, A. Shapur" and "Shapur Shahbazi, A." Could you standardise.
  • Sources: Shahbazi (2005) and Shahbazi (2018) are not cited as sources. So they should be deleted or, if appropriate, moved to a 'Further reading' section.
  • Sources: The three Shahbazi works are in date order, but it should be with the earliest published work first.
  • McDonough: Thank you, I understand now. In which case could you briefly explain who McDonough is? Either inline with something like 'modern historian S. McDonough ...' or more fully as a footnote.
  • McDonough quote: Looking at the source for this I feel that your paraphrasing may be a little misleading. Would you object to changing "presumably" to 'perhaps' or something similar?
  • The two sentences part: apologies if I was unclear. Under "Wars" you start your second paragraph with:

    Yazdegerd II, at the start of his reign, reportedly continued his father’s policies of appeasing the magnates. However, after some time, he turned away from these and started a policy of his own. When the magnates told him that his new policies had offended the people, he disagreed, saying that: "it is not correct for you to presume that the ways in which my father behaved towards you, maintaining you close to him, and bestowing upon you all that bounty, are incumbent upon all the kings that come after him ... each age has its own customs."

This, to my eye, has little to do with "Wars" and would, IMO, be better moved to the "Religious policy" section; either the first paragraph where you talk about "uneasy relationship with the aristocracy" or (IMO more appropriately) to the second paragraph where you mention "strengthening the royal centralisation of the bureaucracy, which demanded the cooperation of the aristocracy". I realise that this may entail a little rewriting.
Gog the Mild (talk) 11:35, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
I think I've done it. Also added a much needed personality section. --HistoryofIran (talk) 13:53, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Hi HistoryofIran, Much improved. I especially like the "Personality" section. Happy to assess it as a Good Article. Nicely done and good work. Gog the Mild (talk) 16:08, 11 May 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Jewish Persecution under Yazdegerd II

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@HistoryofIran:, first, my apologies to you, as I did, inadvertently, misplace the reference in the previous edit, but have since corrected it and placed it in its proper place. For your information, Sherira Gaon wrote at invaluable chronology of the Babylonian Jewish leaders, both before, during and after Yazdegerd II. He also names Yazdegeed II by name, and writes of him: "Rabbi Nachman bar Rabbi Huna then ruled [as head of the Babylonian Talmudic Academies], and he died in the year 766 [of the Seleucid era; 455 of our Common Era] in a time of persecution, when Yazdegerd (II) decreed the abolition of the Sabbath day observations." END QUOTE. This important secondary source was written in the 10th-century. The editor of this important work goes on to explain the event and to discuss the Sassanian king under question. This second source which we hope to bring down here, along with your earlier source, will help put everything in context. Please wait, and I'll format it to please you; giving a short citation and the longer reference in the Reference Source. Shalom.Davidbena (talk) 18:09, 22 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

No need to apologize, it happens. But quite the interesting source - I changed it a bit further so it looks like the rest of the citations and sources. --HistoryofIran (talk) 19:33, 22 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Thanks, very much, my friend. If I should have any questions about the meaning of Persian words, I now know whom I can turn to. Thanks, again.Davidbena (talk) 20:20, 22 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]
Ye sure thing, I'll gladly help. --HistoryofIran (talk) 20:21, 22 August 2019 (UTC)[reply]

About the Iran-Attila War and lack of mention in the article

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According to Atilla's own page, he launched an invasion of Armenia in the early 440's. Could anyone expand on the matter from Yazdegerd II's side in the article proper? There appears to be a strange lack of this war in the article, or was it an insignificant raid compared to Attila's invasion of Thrace and Gaul, so it was omitted? PrehistoricWalker (talk) 08:01, 16 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Well I for one didn’t even know that was a thing. Perhaps it ought to be insignificant (or didnt happen?) considering not a single source I used mentioned it? I will try to look it up later. HistoryofIran (talk)
Thanks. Here[1] is the link extracted from Attila's page. Hopefully it helps. PrehistoricWalker (talk) 14:18, 18 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Shahrestan Yazdegerd

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Article about Shahrestan Yazdegerd - LouisAragon (talk) 11:53, 29 January 2021 (UTC)[reply]