Talk:Yasss Bish

GA Review

This review is transcluded from Talk:Yasss Bish/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Prism (talk · contribs) 22:34, 18 May 2014 (UTC)

Overview

Prose

· Lead

1. First paragraph should be written this way: "Yasss Bish" is a song recorded by Trinidadian-American rapper Nicki Minaj for her third studio album The Pink Print (2014). It was written by Minaj along with the song's producer Soulja Boy, who is also credited as a guest vocalist. The track was released through her official SoundCloud account as the album's third promotional single on May 3, 2014 following "Lookin Ass" and "Chi-Raq". This way it flows better.

 Done

1. Could you paraphrase "bouncy drill anthem" just for the lead?

 Done

1. Donald Sterling along with → Donald Sterling and (because of including)

 Done

1. Something recurrent in your writing I've seen is the incorrect usage of the apostrophe. Not that I'm trying to call you out for doing it, take this in a friendly way (this kind of error is not useful for exams and other stuff that may come up in your professional life).

→ "songs producer" — this would mean that Soulja Boy is the producer of various songs. Here the pretended meaning is that he is the producer for "Yasss Bish", specifically. Therefore, "songs" should be "song's to mark possessive case.

 Done

→ "snare's", "synthesizer's" — here I assume you want to address the fact that the song encompasses a variety of synthesizers, a variety of snares (a lot, right?). In this case the correct grammar would be to use the plural and remove the apostrophe. This is actually a pretty common mistake.

 Done

1. "calls out" — seems a bit too casual for a Wikipedia article. Perhaps 'addresses [her detractors]'?

 Done

1. In case "fierce" isn't utilized in any review—and if it is, insert quotation marks around it—you should remove it as it looks biased.

 Done

· Background

1. Could you paraphrase the Soulja Boy quote? It's really big.

 Done

1. 'RuPaul's Drag Race' → RuPaul's Drag Race

 Done

· Composition

1. I don't like the usage of "calls out", replace it with something more formal.

 Done

1. "'Yasss Bish' opens with [...] 'Yasss Bish'" — replace the first with "The song/track"

 Done

1. "Goddard said that:" → "Goddard said,"

 Done

1. Some quote marks here are 'curly' instead of the normal ones. Make sure to replace all of them (I mean ’ instead of '). These reappear during the article.

 Done

1. "Emma Goddard of Bustle praised the chemistry between the two rappers, and saw the song as a change from the upbeat sound of previous tracks such as "Starships", "Beez In The Trap", "Super Bass" and "Moment 4 Life". Goddard praised the change, however, as she felt it let Minaj "show off her rapping prowess much more in this song."" → Emma Goddard of Bustle praised the chemistry between the two rappers and saw the song as a change from the more upbeat sound found in Minaj's catalogue, which she credited with "show[ing] her rapping prowess much more".

 Done

Exercises

• Let's see if you learned your lesson with some quick exercises. Just complete the underscores with " 's " or "s" and although it looks simple, it may be quite tricky.
  • 1. Katy Perry has nine number-one songs on the Hot 100.
    2. We picked the food from the bar's menu.
    3. No one's here.
    4. Jim played the guitar with Guitar Hero's controller.
    • All correct! prism^△ 09:02, 19 May 2014 (UTC)

Links

1. Two links need fixing (here).

 Done

prism^△ 22:34, 18 May 2014 (UTC)

@Prism: All changes have been addressed! Thank you! --Giacobbe ^talk 02:12, 19 May 2014 (UTC)

Thank you for replying to everything! Passing. prism^△ 09:02, 19 May 2014 (UTC)