Talk:Ya Soshla S Uma/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Cartoon network freak (talk · contribs) 20:14, 27 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Soon... Best, Cartoon network freak (talk) 20:14, 27 September 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

is a song recorded → is the debut song recorded
who went under their Russian name → known under their Russian name
Russian album → Russian language album
It was written → The recording was written
Remove comma after "Elena Kiper"
The single premiered on 19 December 2000 as the lead single from the album. → The track was made available for purchase on 19 December 2000 as the lead single from the record.
the songs original story → the song's original story
by Kiper → Kiper had
and the English language adoption → and the single's English language adoption
it is about → it delves on
link "music critics" to music journalism
Many critics highlighted as → Many reviewers highlighted it as
tracks, and complimented the production. However, most of the reviews refused to acknowledge the content and focus more on the group and lesbian image. → tracks and complimented the production, although most of them focused on the group's and the song's lesbian vibe.
was successful → experienced success
and sold → and selling
Additionally, the song was a huge topic and success through airplay stations in Russia, Ukraine, Poland, and Czech Republic. → Additionally, "Ya Soshla S Uma" impacted mainstream radio stations in Russia, Ukraine, Poland and Czech Republic.
where it featured t.A.T.u. in school girls outfits behind an iron-wired fence, and kissing each other. → and portrayed t.A.T.u. wearing school girl outfits and kissing each other behind an iron-wired fence.
in Russia → in Russian media
set commas before and after "All The Things She Said"
an caused controversy from several publications and media outlets. → and further caused controversy.
To promote the single → In order to promote the single
and appeared → and it was included

Infobox

CD Single → CD single
Electronic music → Electronic
Universal Music Russia → You never name full names of labels in infoboxes; thus change to "Universal"
Original cover/cassette adapted cover → Original and cassette-adapted cover

Background and composition

See also: All The Things She Said → overfluous; remove
the Russian children → remove "the"
bad behavior → erratic behavior
Then, Russian → Subsequently, Russian
Him and his → He and his
to the group → for the group
procedures. She then recalled → procedures, with resulted in recalling
woke up → waking up
the words "Ya Soshla s Uma", which is "I've lost my mind" in Russian language → the phrase "Ya Shoshla s Uma", which translates as "I've lost my mind" from Russian language
She had told → Kiper had told
this is where Shapovalov conveyed the theme of lesbianism through the song, and its English language counterpart "All The Things She Said". → this led to Shapovalov conveying the theme of lesbianism through the song and its English language counterpart, "All The Things She Said".
of Kiper's → of Kiper
all made by her → all thought by her
Elena Kiper, and → Kiper (unlink name)
the groups manager → the group's manager
Shapovalov composed the track → He composed the track
released; the original version, and an → released—the original version

Release

set comma before and after "Boris Renski"
to the Russian public → for the Russian public
The single premiered → The recording premiered
CD Single → CD single
enhanced videos; the music video and the "behind the scenes". → enhanced videos (the visual and behind-the-scenes footage)
Russia, which included → Russia, and featured
on the CD single → from the CD single
groups signing → group signed a contract
it was re-issued → the "Ya Soshla S Uma" was re-distributed
with their single → with their song
set commas before and after the song's title
premiered as a radio single → it was sent to radio stations
Europe; in January → Europe. In January
second b-side track to the CD Single → second B-side track on the physical release
You may rename "Katy Perry controversy" into simply "Controversy"
Remove "and songwriter" as it's overfluous
Remove commas surrounding "Katy Perry"
the her single → her single
Remove "they believed"
and said that the song's → and said that the recording's
Unlink band name
against Perry → against the singer
and Perry's label's → and her labels

Reception

as one of the groups → as one of the group's
the girls vocal abilities → the girls' vocal abilities
vocal performances → singular please
the groups vocals and "emotion" → the band's vocals and emotions
has also achieved → has achived
In 2001, "Ya Soshla S Uma" → That same year, "Ya Soshla S Uma"
Russia; they performed the song that same night → Russia, with t.A.T.u. as well performing the track the same night.
song writing award → Songwriting Award
and won the second time → and went on winning the second time
peaking there → charting there
remove comma after "50,000 units

Music video

See also: All The Things She Said → remove please
Image > A shot of t.A.T.u. members Julia Volkova (left) and Elena Katina (right) in school outfits, who run around a corner and find a vast Khodynka Field in Moscow. → A shot from the music video, portraying band members Volkova (left) and Katina (right) wearing school outfits, and running around a corner to find a vast Khodynka Field in Moscow.
music video to → music video for
For preparation of the video, both Volkova and Katina had to cover themselves in dark-tanning lotion and required haircuts. → Preparation for the visual consisted of both Volkova and Katina covering themselves in dark-tanning lotion and getting haircuts.
shooting majority of the scenes → shooting the majority of the scenes
in order to shot scenes of traffic whilst the girls where also in the camera → in order to shot frames of traffic until the camera changed its focus on the girls again.
The video was then broadcast → remove "then" + broadcast for the first time
As always, I prefer editing the synopsis myself before passing article
:Ya Soshla s Uma" → please write the name correctly
the English version of → remove
as Shapovalov did not shoot a version with the girls singing in English. → this can be understand even without writing this sentence; remove please.
kissing and critics → kissing, and critics
of the video to → of the video for
for the Russian entry of 2000 → among the Russian nominees of 2000
groups first nomination → group's first nomination
Russia, similar to the reception → Russia similarly to the cultural impact
MTV Russia with the English version → Remove "with the English version" as it doesn't make any sense
link gay rights to LGBT rights
sexual references, but according to Jon Kutner writing in his book 1000 UK Number One Hits, the idea of school girls behind an iron fence courted controversy nevertheless. → sexual references. According to Jon Kutner, writing in his book..., the idea of school girsl behind an iron fence courted controversy nevertheless.
success sa les → commercial success
Second para > remix version by → remix version produced by
I prefer editing the rest of this section by myself before passing as it included many word repetitions and stuff like this, which would uncomfortably to write out here.

Promotion

the groups → the group's
Poland, amongst other → Poland among other
Parts of "Ya Soshla S Uma" was used during the groups Truth Tour at → Parts of... were used during t.A.T.u.'s Truth Tour in
where it was used as the closing number to the concert. → were it served as the concert's closing number
The single was included on the groups → The single was additionally included on the group's
show; Temnikova played as Volkova → show, with her also impersonating band member Volkova.

Credits and personnel

Remove "CD" from "CD liner notes".
Moscow, Russian → Moscow, Russia

Charts and sales

Source, which I have btw archived, only specifies the song as a hit, but does not say that it peaked atop the Russian Singles Chart. Thus, this statement should be accompanied by ref no. 20 as well.
Russian Singles Chart (NFPF) → [[Russian Music Charts|Russian Singles Chart]]
Certification table > Remove "NFPF"
Add a {{N/A|None}} in place for the "Certification" section of the table

Notes

Western critics and music publications had actually labelled the backing track to t.A.T.u.'s single "All The Things She Said", whilst some Eastern European labelled "Ya Soshla s Uma"; it is disputable, but this is kept in the article because both tracks do share both backing tracks. See the "All The Things She Said" article for more information about the controversy. → Various critics and music publications likened Perry's single to the instrumental of "All The Things She Said" or "Ya Soshla s Uma" although both versions share the same backing track.
Note B > liner notes for → liner notes of
labels the track → labels the track as
labels the track (2nd time) → mentions the recording under the title

Outcome

This is perhaps one of your best music articles. It reads so fluent and beautifully! I've put this On hold for 7 days in order to allow edits to the article. Don't forget to ping me when you're ready with this or have any questions concerning the review. Best regards, Cartoon network freak (talk) 21:52, 3 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- @Cartoon network freak: Thank you very much for your time! All adjustments have been completed! CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 04:34, 13 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  - Gladly passing! Congrats, Cartoon network freak (talk) 11:11, 13 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.