Talk:X (Kylie Minogue album)/GA2

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Aoba47 (talk · contribs) 00:54, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Lead and infobox

The labels listed in the infobox are Parlophone, Festival Mushroom, and Capitol, but the lead's first paragraph also Warner Bros. and EMI Music. Why are those two not mentioned in the infobox? Also, the lead uses Festival Records while the infobox uses Festival Mushroom so I would be consistent with one or the other. There seem to be inconsistences between the lead and the infobox.
In the lead, I would use EMI Music Japan in full to distinguish this from EMI Music to avoid any confusion there.

My intention was to mention three main labels in three large markets that X was released in (US, UK, Australia) to simplify the infobox (which is already crowded with a full list of producers and recording studios). Both Parlophone and Capitol are subsidiaries of EMI so I thought mentioning it in the infobox would be somewhat redundant. I changed the labels in the infobox, intro, and the release history section based on your suggestions :D

I did a quick research for the Australian releases and realized that all of them were manufactured and distributed under Warner Music Australia (the statement can be seen here), who apparently bought Festival Mushroom two years before X was released. Therefore I replaced all the Mushroom links with WMA. Damian Vo (talk) 09:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing this. Aoba47 (talk) 21:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This part, A dance-pop and electropop album, X's lyrics, is not grammatically correct as it is describing the lyrics as a dance-pop and electropop album.

Rewrote. Damian Vo (talk) 09:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, the first to promote the album in the United States and the latter in Europe, I would say "the former" rather than "the first" to be consistent with the terminology used in the sentence (i.e. "the latter").

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 09:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I am not sure you can call this an electropop album since this part, with an electropop influence as well, is the only mention of electropop I can find in the article. The critic describes the album as being influenced by the genre, which is not the same as saying it is a part of the genre itself.

Changed back to electronica. It was added by an IP before the nomination. Damian Vo (talk) 09:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Please add ALT text to the infobox image.

Added. Damian Vo (talk) 09:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Background and development

For this part, to complete the album, feeling that completing it was a personal goal she had set, I would avoid having complete/completing in the same sentence.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 09:24, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Everything else looks good with this section.

Writing and recording

I have a question about this part, about her feelings and experience during her recovery from breast cancer. What is the difference between her "feelings" and her "experience"?

Removed "feelings". Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have two comments for this sentence: Most of the tracks did not make it on the record. Do we know why these tracks did not make the album? Also, there are four citations being used to support this, which in my opinion constitutes citation overkill. I would correct this somehow, whether it be through bundling the citations or another method.

Expaned the sentence and split the citations. Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, They did several demos together, I would link demo as some readers may not be familiar with this music terminology.

Linked. Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have a question about this part, Both tracks were rejected. It is a little odd that if both songs were rejected that Minogue would chose to perform one of them on a tour and go out of her way to name a documentary after it. Do we have any further context on why the songs were rejected or who rejected them (i.e. like was it her record label, etc.)?

I replaced "rejected" with "not appear in the final tracklist" since I cannot found anything specific about this. Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, to make it sound effortless and lazier, I would say "more effortless" so it matches with "lazier".

Added. Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, met at a function in 2006, could you clarify what you mean by "a function"?

"function" is the word she used in the interview. I changed it to "a social event". Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, Music group Laid and Emma Holmgren originally performed "The One", I think "originally recorded" would be better, unless the group had already performed this song as a part of their shows or something.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, A&R executive Jamie Nelson, I would link A&R as some readers may not be familiar with this phrase.

Linked. Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Please link R&B in this part, working with R&B producer Terry Riley.

Linked. Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I would avoid meet/meeting in this part, to meet a "top-line songwriter" from Minogue's camp, but the meeting never occurred, but replacing "the meeting" with "this" as it should be clear from context.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 12:22, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Music and lyrics

I have honestly confused by the placement of the "room for reflection" quote in this part, described X as a "sexy pop" collection, one has "room for reflection" and is "much more of a celebration" than her previous releases. It does not really fit in this part very well in my opinion.

Removed and moved the sentence to the second paragraph. Damian Vo (talk) 12:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, pointed out the mix of "cold, calculated dance-pop" from her recent releases, I would use the album titles to make this clearer to readers and avoid "recent" (as her recent release at the time of this review is Disco and I know you are not referring to that).

I changed it into "Minogue's early 2000s releases" since he did not refer to anything specific. Is it better? Damian Vo (talk) 12:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

That looks better to me. Thank you for addressing this. Aoba47 (talk) 21:24, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have some more general concerns about this section. You have done a very good job clearly defining the topics for the three paragraphs. However, I do not think the prose for each individual paragraph is as strong as it could be. It can read a little too much like a random list of critics and their opinions. I would add more sentence variation and see if you could have the information read more smoothly from one point to the next. I have also noticed there are a substantial amount of quotes, particularly in the first paragraph, so I would look critically on how they are being used here.

I re-wrote the whole section based on your suggestions. Damian Vo (talk) 12:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, while Petridis noted the album relies heavily on the sexual and filled with double-entendres, while avoiding addressing Minogue's medical circumstances, I would avoid using "while" twice as it was rather confusing to read at first.

Removed. Damian Vo (talk) 12:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This is not a suggestion or anything, but I really like the Stefani and Spears images you have picked. They are both from around the time this album was released and I just think they look nice in the article.

Thank you so much :D Damian Vo (talk) 12:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I hope it is okay if I pick this GAN up for a review. This review will take some time as the article is quite long, which is perfectly okay of course. I will post my comments in a more piecemeal fashion. Please let me know if you have any questions about any of my comments. I must admit that I am not a fan of this album, but I am interested in learning more about its history and creation. Aoba47 (talk) 01:31, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for picking this for a review real quick! I know you're preparing for a FAC so please take as much time as you need for this review. Every comment here is greatly appreciated :) Damian Vo (talk) 06:32, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I am glad that I can help. Thank you for addressing everything so far. I will post further comments tomorrow as I lost track of today. I will have comments up for the next two sections by the end of tomorrow. I might ask for your help with my next FAC if that is okay lol. It will be my last one for a while as I plan on taking an extended break from Wikipedia after that. Aoba47 (talk) 21:27, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Song analysis

For this, Its production draws inspiration from Goldfrapp, I would attribute in the prose who is drawing these connections. I believe critics are the one making these comparisons so I would clarify that. I think further clarification is necessary here as I could some readers seeing this line and thinking the producers themselves were drawing all of these different points of inspiration (and if that is case, then I was the one that misinterpreted it).

Added. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have a question about this part, an uncredited sample of Visage's "Fade To Grey" (1980). Is there further information about the "uncredited sample"? I just find this part interesting, particularly how it is not credited.

I found a review and some little sidenotes about this, without any mention or credit the authors of "FTG" in the booklet. After another research, right now I think it's safe to say that piece of information is not reliable. I removed the sample claim from the article. The same happened while I was gathering information for Let's Get to It awhile ago: there were sources claimed the track "Too Much of a Good Thing" sampled Janet's "Control" spoken intro but I could not found anything in the booklet (you can clearly hear the sample but still not verified by anything reliable). Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, a mellow and distorted electronic pop song that sounds similar to Daft Punk and Girls Aloud, I would attribute in the prose who is saying this to avoid having it presented in Wikipedia's voice.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, commented "Heart Beat Rock" is better suited, I think it should be "commented that".

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, a direct message to a lover, I do not think "direct" is necessary as I believe it is already obvious.

Removed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Could you expand on this part, The track has a reference to Michelangelo's The Creation of Adam., to explain the reference further?

Added the lyrics. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, on Minogue's recent medical issues, I would avoid using "recent". It is clear in context, but I would want to avoid any potential misreadings of "recent" being as the time of the person reading the article.

Removed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I would link interpolation in this part, an interpolation from The Gap Band's "Outstanding" (1982), as some readers may not be familiar with this music terminology.

Linked. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This is super nitpick-y so apologies in advance. For this part, garnered strong comparison, I would say "frequent comparisons" as I just think it sounds better.

That's fine. Added. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have a similar comment for this part, draws inspiration from Madonna's "Holiday" (1983), for my first bullet point in this section's commentary.

Added. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I would simplify this part, She is heard speaking Japanese at the end of the track, to "She speaks Japanese at the end of the track".

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This is not a suggestion, but I really like how you use the "Speakerphone" sample as I do think it is very representative of the album.

Thank you :D Damian Vo (talk) 14:51, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Here is another section of comments. I hope this is helpful. Aoba47 (talk) 23:14, 30 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Package and release

When I read the image caption, I thought there were more comparisons between the X and Rio covers, but the article has a comparison made by only critic, Christian Guiltenane of Classic Pop felt the airbrushed retro image was an homage to the Patrick Nagel illustration for Duran Duran's Rio (1982)., so I would modify the caption to avoid a misinterpretation that this was more widely held point of discussion.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:54, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have two comments for this sentence: Minogue did not want to release an album full of material about her cancer treatment and saved some of the rejected tracks for B-side releases. Add a link for B-side since some readers may be unfamiliar with this term, especially since we are very much in the streaming age right now. This is the second time you mention Minogue refusing to record songs about her cancer treatment so it comes across as rather repetitive. I think this information would be better suited for a previous section so it is all together.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:54, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have a question about this part, and the Amazon exclusive "Carried Away". It says that it is an Amazon exclusive, but the next sentence mentions that it was included on a 2008 special edition?

Removed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:54, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Promotion

For this part, Minogue sang previous hits, I would avoid saying "hits" as it is too informal for Wikipedia.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:58, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, her first in-studio breakfast interview in more than a decade, I would add a link for breakfast television. I am an American and while I understood the word through context, I think the link would be helpful for readers in parts of the world that do not use this particular phrasing.

Linked. Damian Vo (talk) 14:58, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

For this part, She was interviewed and performed on The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson and The Ellen DeGeneres Show., I would clarify what song she performed. I believe it is "All I See", but please correct me if I am wrong.

Yes it is "All I See". Added Damian Vo (talk) 14:58, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I find the beginning part of this sentence, Previously unreleased tracks, "I Don't Know What It Is" and "King or Queen", were included on the single's B-side., to be a little odd. I think a majority of people would assume the lead single's B-side would be a new song as opposed to an older one?

Removed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:58, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I would revise this sentence, The costumes worn by Minogue and her band were designed by Gareth Pugh and Christopher Kane., so it is in the active tense.

Done. Damian Vo (talk) 14:58, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I have a question about this part, "In My Arms" was issued for Europe. By Europe, do you mean continental Europe? A distinction is drawn between Europe and the U.K., but I think a lot of readers put the two together so a clarification may be helpful for this part.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 14:58, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Here are my comments for two additional sections. Aoba47 (talk) 01:04, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Critical reception

Link Kelefa Sanneh in the prose and in the citation.

Linked. Damian Vo (talk) 14:58, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I would revise the first paragraph as it does come across more like a list than anything. You have done a very good job with picking the reviews as I believe this paragraph is more focused on the positive reviews (with some mixed ones sprinkled in), but I think it could read more cohesively. I think it would go a long to very some of the sentence structures as the Long and Hunter sentences are back-to-back "X critic said Y".
There are a lot of quotes in this section to the point that I could see some editors viewing it as a quote farm. I would avoid one-word quotes like in this instance (opined that the "asinine" lyrics), but I would also look more critically on how quotes are used in this section and which ones are needed and which ones can be paraphrased.

Rewrote the section based on your comments Damian Vo (talk) 14:58, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Accolades

The Devores sentence does not really make sense in this section, and I would move up to the "Critical reception" section instead.

Removed the comments. Damian Vo (talk) 14:59, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Add a link for the Grammy Awards in this part (received a Grammy nomination).

Linked. Damian Vo (talk) 14:59, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Commercial performance

I do not see any issues with this section.

This should be all of my comments for the prose. I will look through the citations once everything has been addressed. Sorry for dumping this all on you at once. I got in the zone and just kept going from there. Also, unrelated to this review, but is your opinion of this album? Aoba47 (talk) 04:06, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for another helpful review in such a short period of time. I think I've responded to all your points above. X has its moments but I prefer her earlier albums i.e. KM94. Just saw your earlier comments about taking a Wikibreak. I'm wishing you the best of luck with the FAC and in your real life as well. Damian Vo (talk) 15:28, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing everything. I will look through the citations tomorrow if that is okay with you. Thank you for your kind words. It is cool to see someone who appreciates her earlier music. I also enjoy KM94. I could be wrong (so apologies in advance), but I feel that her newer music often gets more attention than her older stuff. Anyway, I had a lot of fun reading the article and I will likely complete my review tomorrow. I cannot believe August is already over ><. Aoba47 (talk) 21:05, 31 August 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Citations

What is your method for linking the website/publisher in the citations? It seems like it is only linked on the first instance, which is a valid approach, but BBC News is linked in Citation 166 even though its first appearance is in Citation 14. I have the same comment for Official Charts Company.

Oops silly mistake. Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 11:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

It happens to the best of us. Citations can be annoying at times. Aoba47 (talk) 23:34, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Why is Metro not linked in the first instance in the citations?

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 11:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Digital Spy is presented in two different ways (in italics in Citation 148 and without italics in Citation 47). It should be consistent one way or the other. I have the same comments for Australian-charts.com in Citation 7 and Citation 159.

Fixed. Damian Vo (talk) 11:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

The Campbell citation is not used in the article. The same for the Smith citation.

Removed. Damian Vo (talk) 11:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

This is not required for the GAN review, but I would do clippings for the Newspapers.com citations so they are more accessible to readers without a subscription to this service.

That's a wonderful suggestion since I am fairly new to the site (subscribed since April–May). Damian Vo (talk) 11:12, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I am glad I could help. I really enjoy using Newspapers.com and I only know about using clippings on here because of another editor (who has also recommended this during a review). I have found that Newspapers.com is an invaluable resource. Aoba47 (talk) 23:34, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

These are my comments about the citations. I hope this is helpful. Once everything has been addressed, I will be more than happy to pass this as a GA. If possible, I would greatly appreciate any feedback for my current FAC. It is about another singer who is far less well-known than Minogue lol. Either way, I hope you are having a great week so far! Aoba47 (talk) 03:24, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

I will take a look at the FAC as soon as possible. Thank you so much :D Damian Vo (talk) 11:22, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for addressing everything. I will ✓ Pass the article now. Have a great rest of your week! Aoba47 (talk) 23:34, 1 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you so much :D Damian Vo (talk) 07:41, 2 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]