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GA Review

[edit]
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Reviewer: K. Peake (talk · contribs) 07:23, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]


Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Taking on an album for the first time in quite a bit! --K. Peake 07:23, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Infobox and lead

[edit]
  • The February 10–14, 1995 recording period is not sourced anywhere in the body
Fixed
Done
  • Separate the genres in the infobox using bullet points instead of commas
Done
  • "on April 11, 1995 by" → "on April 11, 1995, by"
Fixed
  • "Most of the album was" → "Most of it was"
Done
  • "had worked on" → "had previously worked on" to avoid the impression that they started work on the album then scrapped for this one
Agreed, fixed
  • "returning them to the" → "marking a return to the" to be less repetitive
Done
  • "their second album" → "their second studio album,"
Replaced with "their second 1994 studio album" instead because I think it's more consistent with the rest of the article.
Isn't that wording a little confusing for the lead though since it sounds like the album was the band's second that year? --K. Peake 20:59, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Removed the word "second" as I think it bloats the sentence for no apparent reason. The word "after" (in the same sentence) already implies that Crooked Rain is their second studio album.
  • Add release year of the album in brackets
See above comment
  • "The album's eclectic nature" → "The former's eclectic nature"
Done
  • "while its lyrics explore" → "while the lyrics generally explore"
Done
  • "Wowee Zowee is Pavement's longest" → "it is Pavement's longest" but the longest "fact" is completely unsourced
It should now be sourced in the Background and recording section
It is now, good job! --K. Peake 20:59, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "who generally deemed it a sloppy effort when compared" → "being generally deemed as a sloppy effort in comparison"
Done
  • Maybe mention what was praised by some critics too since the album's reviews were mixed?
Highlighted adventurous style and Malkmus' lyricism
Neat addition! --K. Peake 20:59, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • Mention that they were released as singles during 1995
Done
  • "but none was successful." → "but neither were successful."
Fixed
  • "Although the album is notable for" → "Despite being notable for"
Done
  • "it has retrospectively been" → "Wowee Zowee has retrospectively been"
Done
  • "and ranking it 265th on its" → "and giving a ranking of 265th on the magazine's"
Simplified with "and including it in the magazine's". I think it flows better --Niwi3 (talk) 14:05, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I don't think you should use "it" twice in the same sentence for the album --K. Peake 20:59, 12 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Removed the "masterpiece" bit.

Background and recording

[edit]
  • The "follow-up" and "highly acclaimed" parts aren't sourced, unless [2] mentions them? If not, write that Pavement released their second studio album Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain on February 14, 1994 and keep the poll ranking
Being ranked No. 2 in the Pazz & Jop critics' poll means it was pretty acclaimed to me. I deleted the "highly" part, though. I also added a source to back up the release date.
I am aware of the level of ranking that the critics' poll is, so I believe "acclaimed" itself is appropriate language here now. --K. Peake 19:53, 13 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "ranked No. 2 in" → "ranked number two in" per MOS:NUM
Fixed
  • The release date of Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain needs to be mentioned for the months later to be used as a source for recording date, plus is it eight months later an error or the infobox date since the latter is nine months later?
The source says eight months, but I wouldn't take it too literally. It is when the band decided to record the album in Memphis, not when the recording sessions actually started. The infobox is sourced to the CD liner notes.
Shouldn't you mention the recording dates in prose then add that as a source afterwards since refs in infoboxes are generally discouraged? --K. Peake 19:53, 13 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Good idea. Done.
  • "the band decided to" → "Pavement decided to"
Done
Done
Done
  • "the band recorded many" → "Pavement recorded many"
Done
  • "and let Malkmus sing them," → "for Malkmus to sing,"
Done
  • "The band really enjoyed" → "Pavement really enjoyed"
Done
  • "to eat barbecue" is not specific; "to eat at barbecues" or "to eat barbecue food" would be preferred wording probably, but I can't view the source so I don't know which it is most reflective of
The source literally says "to eat barbecue", but I agree that "to eat at barbecues" sounds better
  • [4] should only be invoked after the second of the last two sentences in the para
Removed first instance
  • "where the band recorded" → "where they recorded"
Done
  • "the previous albums," → "their previous albums,"
Done
  • "B-sides by the band." → "B-sides by Pavement." with the pipe
Done
  • "were included in the album," → "were included on the album,"
Fixed
Done
  • "it is Pavement's" → "Wowee Zowee is Pavement's"
Done
  • The part about everything making sense does not appear to be sourced in connection to the album
It's sourced to a RS article in the next sentence. Malkmus says: "In my mind, it all fit together." --Niwi3 (talk) 18:53, 13 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
I did check the source, must have not read through it properly; that part works actually. --K. Peake 19:53, 13 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Music and lyrics

[edit]
  • "side of the band," → "side of Pavement,"
Done
  • Apart from a return to their early recordings, the remainder of the sentence is unsourced
Replaced "traditional rock" with "accessible" and backed it up with an extra source
  • Unusual structures appears to be sourced, while rhythm does not
Replaced rhythms with "disjointed musical styles" and backed it up with an extra source
  • Write noise rock to be clear
Done
  • "on some tracks like" → "on some tracks, like"
Done
  • "that is reminiscent" → "that was described as reminiscent" unless you can add multiple sources saying it is reminscent of this
Done
  • Remove obvious wikilink on piano
Done
  • The Gibson SG info is not sourced
It is. On page 90, the source says: "...a red Gibson SG Standard with P-90 pickups. Malkmus used it to play the solo on Rattled by the Rush..."
Done
  • "Due to the higher production values," → "Due to higher production values," since the production value is not previously mentioned
Done
  • Are you sure the for example part is needed when the sentence kind of implies it?
Yes. Lo-fi aesthetics can be intentional, even with higher production values.
  • None of the "Half a Canyon" info is sourced
It is sourced in a later sentence [9].
  • "added for decoration. Malkmus" → "added for decoration; Malkmus" to avoid overly short sentences
Done
  • "and decided that he would never" → "and decided to never"
Done
  • "popiest songs because" → "popular-styled songs because"
Replaced with "most accessible" because I don't like how "most popular-styled" sounds
Done

Packaging and release

[edit]
  • "The album cover is" → "The cover art for Wowee Zowee is"
Done
  • I don't think "copied it" is correct language when the source says he interpreted the photograph
Replaced with "caricatured it"
  • "It depicts two" → "The original depicts two"
"It" refers to Keene's painting, not the original photograph
  • "Omitted from Keene's copy of the photograph" → "Omitted from Keene's photograph" but is this part really notable?
I think it's useful because it gives more context to the photograph. Also, I replaced the word "copy" with "caricature" as I think it's more accurate
This info can be kept, but I removed "caricature" from this sentence as we already know he did a version of the photograph. --K. Peake 09:22, 15 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • [18] should be solely at the end of the para because it is used for all sentences after the first two
Kept the first instance because it comes right after quotation marks, but removed the other two
  • "a cover that he had" → "one that he had" to be less repetitive
Done
  • "an homage to" → "a homage to"
Fixed
  • "potential title for the album," → "potential title for Wowee Zowee,"
Done
  • Mention that Cocksucker Blues is a film and add the release year in brackets
Added documentary film but omitted its year of release because the source doesn't mention any year; it looks like the film was never released.
  • "on April 11, 1995 by" → "on April 11, 1995, by"
Fixed
  • "Fellaheen Records in Australia, and" → "Fellaheen Records in Australia, while it was released by"
Reworded the whole sentence to: "Big Cat Records and Domino Records issued the album in Europe, Fellaheen Records released it in Australia, and King and Pony Canyon released it in Japan." I think it flows much better that way.
That is mostly fine, though I reworded slightly to stop overusage of "the album". --K. Peake 09:22, 15 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "March 30, 1995 and June 27, 1995," → "March 30 and June 27, 1995,"
Done
  • [3] should only be invoked at the end of the para after [19], as all of the info from then onwards is backed up by it
Kept one extra instance for the quotation marks
  • "To promote the album, the band" →"To promote Wowee Zowee, Pavement"
Done
  • "in summer 1995," → "in the summer of 1995,"
Done
  • "was the highest" → "became the highest"
Fixed
  • "the band performed a few" → "they performed a few"
Done
  • "Japan and the US." → "Japan, and the US." per American English
Fixed
  • At least mention the UK and New Zealand chart positions here since they are definitely high enough to be notable for prose
Done

Critical reception

[edit]
  • "received mixed reviews from" → "was met with mixed reviews from"
Done
  • "claiming that Pavement" → "depicting that Pavement"
In my opinion, "Claiming" is absolutely fine here, way better than "depicting".
Done
  • ""Grounded" and "Kennel District"" → ""Grounded", and "Kennel District""
Fixed
  • "Pavement" and that the band does not" → "Pavement", and believed the band does not"
Done
  • "continues the tradition."" → "continues the tradition"." per MOS:QUOTE
Fixed
  • "and that Kannberg "sometimes" → "and Kannberg "sometimes"
Fixed
  • "as his colleagues."" → "as his colleagues"."
Fixed
  • "but citicized Malkmus'" → "while criticizing Malkmus'" though this review should be the first of the third para since it's less negative
The third paragraph is quite long already, and the Spin review is actually more mixed than positive. I think it's fine to have it at the end of the second paragraph.
  • "the effort and details."" → "the effort and details"."
Done
  • Mention the name of the CMJ New Music Monthly review if known; otherwise, attribute it to the staff of the publication
Done
  • "that it requires several listens to be appreciated." → "that several listens are required for appreciation."
Done
  • "praising the band for" → "praising Pavement for"
Done
  • Cut down the amount directly quoted from Christgau per WP:QUOTEFARM
Done
  • "was ranked No. 17 in" → "was ranked number 17 in"
Done

Legacy

[edit]
  • "the album had sold" → "the album has sold" plus mention this as worldwide or a specific country if the source tells us
"had" is correct because 2009 is past (I changed the date from 2010 to June 2009 after double-checking the source, though). I also added "according to Nielsen SoundScan".
I used by instead since this is more appropriate language to accompany had --K. Peake 09:22, 15 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • "the band decided to" → "Pavement decided to"
Done
  • "for their next album," → "for their next studio album" and add the release year in brackets
Done
  • "and consideres it" → "and considers it"
Fixed
  • "cryptic world view."" → "cryptic world view"." per MOS:QUOTE
Fixed
  • "discography" and that the band" → "discography", assuming the band"
Done
  • "them at first."" → "them at first"."
Fixed
  • "that the album was" → "that the former was"
Done
  • "successful Matador releases such as" → "successful Matador releases, such as"
Done
  • "and behind the band's debut," → "and behind Pavement's debut studio album" and mention the release year
Done

Track listing

[edit]
Done
Added headline

Personnel

[edit]
  • Good

Charts

[edit]
  • See MOS:TABLECAPTION
Added caption

References

[edit]
  • Copyvio score looks great at 28.1%!!!
  • WP:OVERLINK of Rolling Stone on refs 9, 27 and 38
  • WP:OVERLINK of Continuum on refs 13, 18 and 34
  • WP:OVERLINK of Spin on refs 15, 25 and 32
  • WP:OVERLINK of Matador Records on ref 19 and cite as publisher instead
Done
  • WP:OVERLINK of The Village Voice on ref 26
  • Cite AllMusic as publisher instead for ref 30
Done
  • WP:OVERLINK of Rob Sheffield on ref 31
  • WP:OVERLINK of The Ringer on ref 36
WP:OVERLINK states that "Citations stand alone in their usage, so there is no problem with repeating the same link in many citations within an article" --Niwi3 (talk) 20:52, 14 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
[edit]
  • Good

Final comments and verdict

[edit]
Thank you for your review. I think I have fixed all the issue you have raised and left some comments above. Please let me know if there is anything else that needs to be fixed. --Niwi3 (talk) 20:52, 14 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Niwi3 ✓ Pass, did some copy editing which I left comments about at points above, but this is ready now! --K. Peake 09:22, 15 September 2021 (UTC)[reply]
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