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GA Review

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Reviewer: Pamzeis (talk · contribs) 05:58, 15 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]


I'll take this one on. I've only watched Toy Story and Toy Story 4 (well, I watched Toy Story 3 but forgot what happens) so apologies for any plot-related mistakes. Expect some comments by Sunday. Will try not to screw this up Pamzeis (talk) 05:58, 15 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

@Pamzeis Thank you, Ive touched up the lead section based off what youve said so what do you think? ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 18:03, 15 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

Version reviewed

Prose

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  • Toy Story: The Musical should be italicised (all instances)

Lead

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  • in the Disney and Pixar — this may imply that Disney and Pixar separately released films involving Woody. I would recommend changing it to Disney/Pixar for consistency with other articles.
  • animated films and short films Toy Story.Toy Story franchise. (for conciseness and to remove ambiguity)
  • He is a cowboy, pullstring rag doll, and is one of the main protagonist characters along with Buzz Lightyear. — I do not see how these two ideas are related and that makes the flow awkward. I would recommend splitting the sentences (i.e. He is a cowboy, pullstring rag doll; Woody is one of the main protagonist characters along with Buzz Lightyear.)
  • He is mainly voiced by actor Tom Hanks, with his brother, Jim Hanks, voicing him in video games and other merchandise. — it is not said what Tom voices so it is unclear what "other merchandise" is
  • by Oscar-nominated animator and Disney legend Bud Luckey — I do not see the need to mention that Luckey is Oscar-nominated, nor that he is a Disney legend per MOS:PUFFERY. In any case, if this is necessary, legend should be capitalised.
  • as well as the Howdy Doody puppets from the 1950s show Howdy Doody — repetitive
  • Woody was Andy Davis' → Woody is Andy Davis' (MOS:PLOT)
  • toy until, Andy — no comma?
  • Andy became an adult and gave Woody → Andy becomes an adult and gives Woody (MOS:PLOT)
  • Woody served as the → Woody serves as the (MOS:PLOT)
  • When Bonnie's family decided → When Bonnie's family decides (MOS:PLOT)
  • He decided he would remain → He decides he will remain (MOS:PLOT)
  • The fourth paragraph discusses too much of the fourth film's plot and barely touches the others
  • A five-paragraph lead is far too long. For an article of this length (19kB), I would expect two or three paragraphs per MOS:LEADLENGTH

Development

[edit]
  • under Disney chairmen — chairman or chairmen? There seems to be only one...
  • film Toy Story togetherToy Story should be in italics
  • main character, and Woody — I do not think the comma is needed
  • character, and reportedly — I do not think the comma is needed
  • Lasseter also decided Tinny was "too antiquated"; the character was first changed to a military action figure and was eventually given a space theme. Tinny's name changed from Lunar Larry, to Tempus from Morph, and eventually changed to his final name Buzz Lightyear (after astronaut Buzz Aldrin). — this does not belong in Woody's article
  • August 2009 Lee — comma after 2009
  • Unkrich, Toy Story 3 directorToy Story 3 should be in italics
  • stating that Hanks, "has" — no comma
  • how Hanks voice might — missing apostrophe
  • The early test footage of using Hanks' voice from Turner & Hooch, convinced Hanks to sign on to the film. — I don't think a comma should be there as it's making me read this sentence as nonsense
  • in video games and other merchandise Tom — comma after merchandise

Characteristics

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  • Can this be moved below #Appearances? A lot of it doesn't make sense to me without reading #Appearances
  • He is Andy's → He has been Andy's
  • since he was a bit selfish → since he is somewhat selfish (MOS:PLOT)
  • show, Woody's Roundup. — no comma
  • that Woody was "kind → that Woody is "kind (MOS:PLOT)
  • outtakes of Toy Story 2, WoodyToy Story 2 should be in italics
  • which included hiding → which include hiding (MOS:PLOT)
  • Buzz Lightyear cardboard box to — missing apostrophe
  • Buzz Lightyear cardboard ... as Buzz walks ... hundreds of Buzz Lightyear toys ... on Buzz's helmet ... using Buzz's wings — too many instances of "Buzz"

Appearances

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  • All plot summaries should be in present tense except for backstories/flashbacks
  • his position was jeopardized by — since the last thing mentioned is he and Bo Peep's relationship, it makes the reader think that the position is as a love interest
  • at Pizza Planet a fight separated — comma after planet
  • captured by Sid. Woody and Buzz eventually wound up in the house of Andy's malicious neighbor Sid Phillips, who likes — why is Sid brought up without explanation who he is and then brought up with explanation? Can he be explained in the first mention?
  • years old, and was — I do not think the comma is needed
  • Sunnyside daycare center — shouldn't this be in capitals?
  • The second paragraph of #Toy Story 3 is quite clumsy and needs rewriting IMO
  • as much as he used to — this wording is quite clumsy
  • voice box, after realizing Gabby — I do not think the comma is needed
  • stay together, after Buzz — same as above
  • Woody made a cameo → Woody makes a cameo
  • also appeared in the Andy's room → also appears in Andy's room
  • #Theme parks mostly consists of at X, there is Y of Woody. Try varying the sentence rhythm
  • Disneyland's Toy Stoy Land there → Disneyland's Toy Story Land, there
  • twenty feet tall — I believe this should be hyphenated
  • In Shanghai's Toy Story land thereAt Shanghai's Toy Story Land, there
  • DisneySea Woody is featured — comma after DisneySea
  • to Toy Story thatToy Story should be in italics
  • better facial details, andWP:VOICE
  • the rock musical, Toy Story: The — no comma
  • Toy Story 3; It included — "it" should not be capitalised
  • release of Toy Story inToy Story should be italicised
  • and other Toy Story characters. — same as above
  • that all featured Woody on them — awkward wording
  • the release of Toy Story 4, DisneyToy Story 4 should be in italics
  • Toy Story related video games, withToy Story-related video games, with
  • ones being Disney Infinity, Kinect Rush: A Disney-Pixar Adventure, Kinect: Disneyland Adventure, Kingdom Hearts III, and Lego The incerdibles — all these games should be italicised; are Kinect: Disneyland Adventure and Lego The incerdibles spelt correctly?
  • called Toy Story: Mysterious Strange. — should be in italics
  • Toy Story: Tales from the Toy Chest — same as above
  • the Toy Story magazine, that was — is magazine part of the title? If so, capitalise it. If not, un-italicise it
  • published a 72 page — hyphen between 72 and page
  • Toy Story 4 in 2019Toy Story 4 should be in italics
  • Woody along with other toy story → Woody, along with other Toy Story
  • In the 68th Academy Awards, Woody → At the 68th Academy Awards, Woody
  • In the 72nd Academy Awards → At the 72nd Academy Awards
  • the best animated short film Oscar to The Old Man and the Sea by → the Best Animated Short Film Oscar to The Old Man and the Sea by
  • In the 88th Academy Awards → At the 88th Academy Awards
  • and Buzz, featured to — no comma
  • anniversary of the Oscar-winning Toy Story — anniversary of Toy Story's Oscar win
  • to Inside Out.Inside Out should be in italics

Reception and legacy

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  • Forbes, Screen Rant, Sioux City Journal, Polygon, The Guardian, The A.V. Club, Looper, The Colombian, Hollywood Insider, Rolling Stone, Dancing with the Stars and The Late Late Toy Show should all be in italics
  • that Woody, along with Buzz, are great leaders → Woody, along with Buzz, is a great leader
  • Woody's arc to people, saying — can it be made more clear that he's referring to real-life people?
  • criticized Woody saying that — I think there's a missing comma?
  • center of this [the] saga — why is "[the]" there?
  • While Dowd from The A.V. Club commented though Woody "Always does the right thing eventually" he can be "Selfish, petulant, vain, resentful, churlish, and petty.", but said that "Those less flattering qualities also make him among the most three-dimensional of cartoon characters." — this sentence is kinda long; try splitting it. Also, there's a stray full stop in the second quote
  • en Kaye of — typo?
  • career."[84]P eter Bradshaw, film — missing space, extra space?
  • one of the 100 Greatest Characters of the Last 20 Years — why is this in italics?
  • dancing competition, Dancing with — no comma
  • as Woody, while dancing — ditto
    NVM ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 18:30, 19 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
  • In 2011 Ryan — comma after 2011
  • Irish show the Late Late Toy — the should be capitalised
  • Toy Show, dressed ... open the show — kinda repetitive
  • In 2019 at — comma after 2019
  • I would prefer for the third and fourth paragraphs to have an "introduction sentence" too because they just seem to come out of nowhere
  • There seems to be a massive amount of quoting in this section. Not only does this get rather boring after some time, but this can lead to WP:OVERQUOTING, which causes potential COPYVIOs; the detector shows a 50%+ similarity. Try paraphrasing and trimming the quotes to reduce this.

Sources

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Reliability

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  • What makes the following reliable sources:
    • hype.my
    • MagicalMountain.net
    • Moviequotedb
    • thefactsite
    • The Theme Song
    • Orlando Informer
    I asked WP:RSN if Orlando Informer was fine and it looks like its fine to use it in the way I did. I was able to replace the hype.my reference and only one of thefactsite. I cant find a good replacement for Moviequotedb and The Theme Song. Im trying to figure out where in the world the interview MagicalMountain.net is getting the info from but i cant figure it out.
    @Pamzeis:I would like to ask tho. For something like thefactsite its being used as a reference for the sentence that says Woody makes a cameo in in the outtakes of A Bugs Life. If I cant find a better source do I just delete that sentence? as well as the one that says Woody is in the intro for Buzz Lightyear of Star Command? ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 22:16, 20 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
    I would recommend doing so as my view is that if it's not notable to be in reliable sources, it's not worth a mention

More to come...

  • Inside the Magic
  • Orlando Fun Tickets
  • wdwinfo
  • Yesterland
  • Attractions Magazine
  • Seattle's Child
  • Disney on Ice
  • Rotoscopers

Verifiability

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  • Quotes in the lead need citations per WP:LEADCITE
  • The quote about Woody's last name isn't supported by the article
  • fn 3: which bit mentions that the Disney execs "they left creative control to Pixar and sent negative feedback about the draft"?
  • As mentioned in Toy Story 2, his construction includes an "original hand-painted face, natural dyed-blanket stitched vest", and "hand-stitched poly-vinyl hat". — if this is mentioned in the film, then it should be cited using {{cite AV media}}
  • Woody also wears an empty gun holster at his belt. — this sentence is unsourced

Other

[edit]

Apologies, but due to my schedule I will not be able to complete the review until next week or later. Pamzeis (talk) 06:10, 26 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]

No problem. ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 12:25, 26 December 2021 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Second look

[edit]
  • Tom Hanks brother — missing possessive
  • voices him in Lamp LifeLamp Life should be in italics and explained (either with a description or wikilink)
  • Unkrich stated in his Twitter feed "Woody's actual full name is 'Woody Pride', and has been since the earliest days of developing the original Toy Story". — this quote isn't mentioned in the article and is likely WP:UNDUE weight in the lead
  • The fourth paragraph still focusses too much on the fourth film, with barely any mention of the others
  • Twitter feed, that Woody's — I'm pretty sure the comma shouldn't be there
  • Prospector's plan are foiled — plural or not?
  • Everything in #Films should be in present tense, except for flashbacks, etc.
  • Shanghai's Toy Story land there — land should be capitalised if it is part of the title and the should be a comma before there
  • and some other Toy Story charactersToy Story should be italicised
  • follows the story line of the — storyline is one word
  • Channel series Hannah Montana.Hannah Montana should be in italics
  • on Ice: Celebrate Memories . — extra space
  • All the sentences of #Disney on Ice start with Woody, making them monotonous
  • Toy Story related-video games, withToy Story should be in italics
  • I still don't see any justification for why Inside the Magic should be considered a reliable source
    well I actually found a ref really had to dig for that one. ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 02:53, 15 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

More to come... sorry for the delay. Pamzeis (talk) 14:43, 14 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

  • with other toy story charactersToy Story needs to be capitalised and italicised  Done
  • The Old Man and the Sea by — italics  Done
  • At the 88th Academy Awards, Woody and Buzz featured to honor the 20th anniversary of Toy Story's Oscar win, presented the Oscar — kinda sloppy  Done
  • when they don't know — remove the contraction  Done
  • Entertainment Weekly named Woody one of the 100 Greatest Characters of the Last 20 Years, and — the "Last 20 Years" could be anytime. When did EW rank them?  Done added details.
  • by Hollywood Insider declaring that — I think there's something missing but I can't quite put my finger on it
  • Ashton wore Toy StoryToy Story needs italics  Done
  • COPYVIO score is still pretty high
    • Probably because of the quotes at the box. I've done the other issues, perhaps we could remove those quotes for copyvio reasons? Kaleeb18. 2001:4455:1A9:E100:39AB:A681:F94:D1E3 (talk) 07:00, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
      • No, the quote box is fine I’ll handle it. Also @Pamzeis: what is not a reliable source and what is not in focus? And what does I can’t put a finger on it mean? ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 12:38, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
        • To answer your first question, Inside the Magic is the unreliable source and the undue quote in the lead is the focus problem. I review the same version without acknowledging changes... so IDK what the article looks like now. Not being able to put a finger on something means... I can't quite put my finger on the definition but basically there seems to be something missing in the quote, but I can't determine what is missing. Ping me once you've resolved all the comments, BTW. Pamzeis (talk) 12:43, 18 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Third look

[edit]
  • Tom Hanks brother — still, missing possessive  Done
  • used to be in in a popular TV show — double in  Done
  • about it and production of the — there either should be a the in front of production or of should be changed to on  Done
  • However, his position was jeopardized by the arrival of Buzz Lightyear, an astronaut action figure that Andy got as a birthday present. ... the toys did not believe Woody and became more antagonistic towards him ... fight separated them from Andy ... Woody taught Forky the joys and responsibilities of being a toy ... rescue plan failed, with Woody ... after Buzz assured Woody — present tense  Done
  • spot. the toys return — capital letter  Done
  • played with like he used to — awkward  Done
  • show Lamp Life. — italics  Done
  • after Woody, which are Woody's Lunch Box — clunky  Done
  • song Hoedown Throwdown from — "Hoedown Throwdown" needs quotes around  Done
  • movies".[9] But Nate Birch of Fatherly criticized Woody, saying that he is an "irredeemable jerk" and that he is the “heartless villain” of Toy Story.[75] While Dowd — I don't think the punctuation is correct here  Done
  • work in Toy Story, is one of — no comma  Done
  • The second paragraph of #Reception and legacy is quite boring because it mostly consists of X of Y said Z. Try varying the sentence rhythm  Done
  • by Hollywood Insider declaring that — comma after Insider  Done
  • something we all want — using first person without quoting is informal  Done
  • Woody, while dancing to "You've Got a Friend in Me". Spicer — no comma, songs aren't italicised.  Done

We're getting really close! Pamzeis (talk) 09:14, 20 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Pamzeis: Alright, I have done everything from the third look. Glad we are almost done! ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 13:01, 20 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Fourth look

[edit]
  • Hanks’ voicing him — why is there an apostrophe?  Done
  • Tom Hanks brother — do I need to say anything? But really, there is still a missing apostrophe  Done sorry I had a hard time trying to figure out where the apostephe went from the hird look and of course I placed it in the wrong spot lol dont even know why I put it on the one above.
  • the toys did not believe Woody — present tense  Done
  • lost toy wouldn't understand — contractions are not encycloædic  Done
  • In the second paragraph of #Toy Story 4, most of sentences start with Woody, making it monotonous  Done
  • waterhole!".[b][68] his construction includes — capital letter  Done
  • Story.[75] Dowd from — comma, not full stop  Done
  • Dowd from — is he one of those cool people with only one name or does he have a first name?  Done
  • of all time."[84] declaring — capital letter  Done

Mostly trivial; really, really close. I'm honestly going a bit mad from reading the article so many times. I need to read it... at least one more time Pamzeis (talk) 02:53, 24 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]

I'm so sorry, I'm so bad with grammar sometimes. ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 03:25, 24 January 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Are there still any issues? 2001:4455:364:A800:CD09:1137:D247:C321 (talk) 02:02, 5 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
She is giving a fifth look and will come out wit a review soonish. ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 02:12, 5 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed

Fifth look

[edit]

After five loooooooooooong looks, I think we're all good! Sorry for letting this drag on so long, been kinda stressed lately... We. Made. It. Pamzeis (talk) 10:31, 9 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]

@Pamzeis: Yay! Glad it’s finally a GA and no problem I did not mind waiting at all. ― Kaleeb18TalkCaleb 12:40, 9 February 2022 (UTC)[reply]
Good Article review progress box
Criteria: 1a. prose () 1b. MoS () 2a. ref layout () 2b. cites WP:RS () 2c. no WP:OR () 2d. no WP:CV ()
3a. broadness () 3b. focus () 4. neutral () 5. stable () 6a. free or tagged images () 6b. pics relevant ()
Note: this represents where the article stands relative to the Good Article criteria. Criteria marked are unassessed