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Talk:Wonder Boy in Monster Land/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewing

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I'll be reviewing the article over the next few days. Below you will find the standard GAN criteria, along with a list of issues I have found. As criteria pass, a or will be replaced with a . Below the criteria you'll see a list of issues I've found. Feel free to work on them at any time. I will notify you when I'm done checking over the article. At that time I'll allow the standard one week for fixes to be made.

Criteria

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GA review (see here for criteria)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose): b (MoS):
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (references): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR):
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free images have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

Issues found

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No disambigs or dead links, so the easy stuff is covered


Marked out completed issues, everything looks great. I'm still working over the prose as there's a lot to read, but thus far it all looks good too. --Teancum (talk) 16:08, 10 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Prose
LEAD

  • "While the arcade version amassed moderate sales, the ZX Spectrum, Commodore 64, and Atari ST versions received mixed praise and criticism, while the Amiga version received mostly negative reception." - flows a bit strange due to the double "while". Can the second "while" be reworked? It's not a deal breaker, but I did have to read the sentence twice to understand it.

PLOT

  • "The people, helpless not skilled in fighting, were defeated by the him and his minions; they quickly took over the land, and Wonder Land became known as "Monster Land"." - "The people, helpless not skilled in fighting" also flows strange. I think it's the "helpless not skilled" that gets me
  • "The people sent out for Wonder Boy, who is now a teenager," - could be simplified to "The people send for Wonder Boy, now a teenager,". The verb tense leans towards present tense in the Plot section, so "send" works better.

GAMEPLAY

  • "as he destroys the monsters in Monster Land and defeat the MEKA dragon." - "defeat" -> "defeats"
  • "Whenever he sustains damage from enemies, shots, lava, or spikes, those hearts turn black." - can be simplified to "Whenever he sustains damage those hearts turn black."
  • "In the Sega Master System version of the game, pressing another button" - define "another"
  • "Other special items hidden in the game in which the player must find out and include letters" - remove "find out and"

DEVELOPMENT

  • "Super Adventure Island for mobile phones on June 8, 2005, according to their website." - "according to their website." isn't necessary

RECEPTION

  • "they lauded the game's graphics, challenging gameplay, and addictive gameplay, but they criticized it for its lack of originality" - is there a way to rework the gameplay as "challenging and addictive gameplay", rather than two parts?
  • "The game was reviewed in 1989 in Dragon #144 by Hartley, Patricia" - should be "Patricia Hartley"
  • They said the former "is not only playable, but the graphics - the space is before the quotation, instead of after it
  • IGN heavily criticized the Amiga version 20 years after its release, saying how Wonder Boy was depicted as "a diaper-clad baby". -- unsourced
  • Several direct quotes cite the review and not the reviewer
  • Maff Evans (reference #9) - is "Maff" correct, or should it be "Matt"?

LEGACY

  • Direct quotes cite the review and not the reviewer

I'm done reviewing now. Overall that was a fun read on a classic game. Great work! Once these issues are addressed this can pass.

Reviewer: Teancum (talk) 13:01, 10 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

OK, I think I nailed all of them here. Note that "Lesser" was the last name in that Dragon reference, and I made a couple of different changes than above, as I think the wording sounded a little bit better in those instances. –MuZemike 17:15, 10 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Yep, looks good. PASS --Teancum (talk) 18:28, 10 November 2010 (UTC)[reply]

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