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Talk:Women's suffrage in Wales/GA1

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Reviewer: Sturmvogel 66 (talk · contribs) 14:59, 1 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]


I'll get to this shortly. In the meantime, however:

@Sturmvogel 66: Can you complete this review, according to the guidelines on GA reviewing the reviews shouldn't really be reserved unless you can review it on the day. It is a considerable article though so understand if you've not had time to do it, cheers.♦ Dr. Blofeld 11:39, 3 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

  • Add a hyphen here: working class society
    • Where? Working class does not have a hyphen.
      • They do when they form a compound adjective for society.
        • I bow to your superior knowledge. Done.
  • Nevertheless distinct Comma after nevertheless
    • Done.
  • Chancellor of the Exchequer David Lloyd George, a son of Wales Link his title, put a comma after Exchequer and "a son of Wales is a bit informal. How about "the Welshman David..."?
    • Extended and more formal. linked the title and added missing comma.
  • Spell out WPSU on first use and put abbreviation in parens after it.
    • Done.
  • Link Parliament. More after lunch. I saw that your connectivity is rather poor for the next few days, so no rush to respond to these.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 18:08, 6 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
    • Done
  • working-class fields of Lancashire what does this mean?
    • changed fields to areas, I quoted directly from the source.
  • In Wales there were only two narrow bands of wealthy society awkward
    • Could you expand please. Question?
      • Sure, bands of society reads badly, although I know what you're trying to say. Rephrase it to say something like the wealthy elements of society were concentrated in the narrow Anglicized coastal strips.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:54, 10 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • coal mining industry, with its absence of pit head baths Hyphens between coal and mining and pit and head. Link pit head as well.
    • No hyphen in coal mining, pit head should be pithead. Can't be linked as presently there is no article for pit head, it incorrectly links to headgear which is not the same.
  • Rose Mary Crawshay (1828-1907) no life span necessary.
    • Done.
  • Robert Thompson Crawshay comma after name.
    • Done
  • On 4 March 1872 comma after date.
    • Done
  • mayor of Cardiff capitalize mayor.
    • Done.
  • instance of interest in Welsh working men supporting female suffrage shouldn't this be "by" and "in"?
    • Yes it should. And now it does.
  • large scale political hyphenate large scale
    • hyphen added.
  • Corrupt practices act of 1883 proper name, capitalize
    • Done.
  • Primrose League, but the campaigning for women's rights no "the"
    • Done.
  • In response the Liberal Party, launched no comma
    • Done.
  • Despite some early successes Liberal organisation floundered missing a "the" I think.
    • No "the" needed, I wasn't 'an organization' it was 'their organization'.
  • Map of Wales showing the locations of NUWSS branches what's the NUWSS?
    • Linked to article in map.
  • It took until 1907 before the first branch of the NUWSS was formed in Wales, when a meeting at the Llandudno Cocoa House saw Mrs Walton-Evans become the president of the local cell. Rephrase. Does the abbreviation Mrs not have a full stop in British English? And this might be a bit too much detail if Walton-Thomas isn't notable.
    • Mrs -> Mrs. / Rephrased / I'm not sure how notable Annie Walton-Thomas. I know she was the wife of David Evans, the Archdeacon of St Asaph and she chaired the first meeting and became the first president of a Welsh branch of the NUWSS. I could link her and see if anyone else would like to research her life. She does appear in several Welsh newspapers of the time.
  • This should keep you busy for a bit. Done up to David Lloyd George, more later.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:33, 6 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • In Merthyr the speaker's No apostrophe
    • Done.
  • Liberal MP and from 1908 the Chancellor of the Exchequer set off "and from 1908" as a subordinate clause with commas
    • Done.
  • had he started speaking he was interrupted add "than" after speaking.
    • Done.
  • suffragettes but poured scorn comma before but
    • done
  • Is the photo of Lloyd George from the Llanystumdwy speech? If so, say so.
  • onto the country from central office missing "the"
    • Done.
  • Between April and September 1913 hoax comma after 1913
    • Done.
  • and at Llantarnam telegraph commas before and after "at Llantarnam"
    • Done.
  • notable suffragettes Margaret comma after suffragettes
    • Done.
  • hunger strike but was released comma after strike
    • Done.
  • and although damaged by the bad comma after and
    • Done.
  • employment on mass en masse
    • Done.
  • who were at one point public enemies were now comma after enemies
    • Done.
  • Done up to legacy--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 15:02, 8 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • female candidature in Wales, Millicent Mackenzie a former professor of education from the University College of South Wales and Monmouthshire commas after Mackenzie and Monmouthshire. Shouldn't it be candidacy rather than candidature?
    • Commas Done.
    • Yes Candidacy seems the correct word.
  • Link the title, Viscount of Rhondda
    • Done.
  • Although the publication continued into the 1880s comma after the date
    • Done
  • many of the articles within their pages being frivolous should this be were rather than being?
    • Done
  • a more militant led policy Should "led" be in this sentence?
    • happy to remove word.
  • While not really a comment on the article, I'd be inclined to regard part of the critical analysis in the How Welsh was Welsh Suffrage section as facile and ill-informed. Virtually every social or revolutionary movement I've ever heard of has been led by middle- or upper-class people because the poor are more concerned about where their next meal is going to come from. And in the few cases where that's not true, I believe that contributions from better-off donors have allowed the activist(s) to keep body and soul together while organizing.
    • I completely agree that the wealthy create movements and the poor are forced to riot, but that isn't the concern of this section. This section is meant to help the reader decide if Welsh suffrage can be separated from English suffrage and did the Welsh actually contribute to the movement. The wealth angle is inherent to the people who protested but shouldn't be the leader in the argument. I'm fairly sure that each sentence focuses on the nationality rather than the economic aspect. Question?
  • The majority of suffragists either working in Wales or Welsh suffragists who were active outside the country are many but poorly documented. awkward and so is this: Alice Abadam was the daughter of the High Sherriff of Carmarthenshire who was a renowned speaker and activist, based in England, she later became the chairperson of the Federated Council of Suffrage Movements.
    • I've rejigged the Abadam sentence, I think it reads better now.
  • You've got a mixture of long-form and short-form cites; pick one or the other.
    • As I was using Primary sources rather than a bibliography, I used short form for those I cited more than once. Otherwise the Bibliography would be overly long and IMO confusing for those looking for the sources that will truly help them on the topic. Maybe if someone ever took this to FA it could be addressed then? I've moved one of the journals over.
      • Your rationale is OK for this level.
  • Some sources have publisher's locations, others don't. Be consistent.
    • Added the location of Routledge publishing. The journals don't give a location.
    • The books have locations based on the publishers location, the journals do not. I can remove the book locations if preferred.
      • Up to you, I only care about consistency. Books and journals do not necessarily have to have the same rules applied to each. If you don't want publisher locations for journals, that's fine.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 20:54, 10 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
  • Add ISSNs for your journal sources that lack them.
  • I took the liberty of correcting some typos and adding missing commas. See if they work for you.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 19:11, 9 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
    • All fine by me.

Is the review almost finished now Sturmvogel? It looks in great shape to me, one of the best articles of the contest to date.♦ Dr. Blofeld 21:15, 9 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'm done, just waiting for FruitMonkey to finish her responses.--Sturmvogel 66 (talk) 22:47, 9 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
I think I'm done too. Awaiting responses to my queries. FruitMonkey (talk) 23:42, 10 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]
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