Talk:Witch-king of Angmar/GA1
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Reviewer: AryKun (talk · contribs) 17:03, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
- Many thanks! Chiswick Chap (talk) 18:15, 13 August 2023 (UTC)
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- No illustrations or cosplays or anything that could be used for the lead image?
- Nothing really suitable; the fan images are of generic Black Riders (any of the nine, not specifically the Witch-king). We're also (extremely) leery of using fan images at the tops of articles.
- Why no infobox?
- It isn't required, and it attracts fancruft.
- There's one for other LOTR articles like Gandalf though.
- Yes, more's the pity. Fancruft-lovers are hard to stop, especially when doing something that isn't actually forbidden. Most one can do is to tone down the worst of the excesses. I regularly remove wildly adoring lists of synonyms, epithets, and battle honours.
- There's one for other LOTR articles like Gandalf though.
- It isn't required, and it attracts fancruft.
- The article starts off as if he was an actual person. You need to start with some variation of "was fictional character from JRR Tolkien's The Lord of the Rings" and clarify that the biography is in-universe.
- Done. And the article body begins with "Fictional history".
- "gave to mortal Men" Aren't all Men in LOTR mortal? You don't need to mention this just because it's in the poem. Also later in the lead and in the body.
- Fixed.
- "He stabs the...with her sword." This sounds disjointed (the final battle doesn't really follow on from the bit about stabbing Frodo).
- Edited.
- Man is inconsistently capitalized.
- Fixed.
- "das Nichtige" lang template, also in the body.
- Added.
- "the North-kingdom" Northern kingdom?
- Done.
- "Tolkien speculated that the Witch-king" How can you speculate about the biography of a character you invented yourself? Maybe suggest would be better here.
- Edited.
- "and made the prophecy" should be "and makes the prophecy"
- Done.
- "Frodo, the bearer of the One Ring," Wouldn't the part about him having the ring be better and provide more context in the previous sentence?
- Moved.
- "stricken by the Black Breath" Not really clear on what this entails.
- Glossed.
- "on Tor.com" italics for the website.
- Done.
- "while the enemy visible" enemies?
- The military phrase is "the enemy", however many men it consists of.
- I didn't mean this because it's many people, it's because Harad and the Easterlings are two distinct enemies.
- The military phrase is "the enemy", however many men it consists of.
- References are all reliable and properly formatted.
- Noted.
- Spot-checks:
- Fontenot, Megan N. (31 October 2019). "Exploring the People of Middle-earth: The Witch-King of Angmar, Lord of the Nazgûl". Tor.com. Verifies all claims made.
- Dembrow, Dylan (4 November 2018). "Lord Of The Rings: 20 Strangest Details About Witch-King's Anatomy". ScreenRant. Verifies all claims made.
- Makai, Péter Kristóf (2014). "Games and Gaming: Quantasy". A Companion to J. R. R. Tolkien. Verifies all claims made.
- LaSala, Jeff (14 November 2014). "Extending The Desolation of Smaug: More Is More". Tor.com. Seems to mentions Beorn telling Gandalf, and in fact doesn't have any mention of Radagast at all.
- All the plot points seem correct going by my memory of the books.
- Drout, Michael D. C. (2004). "Tolkien's Prose Style and its Literary and Rhetorical Effects". Tolkien Studies. Verifies all claims made.
- Noted.
- That's all I have. Nice work overall. AryKun (talk) 15:47, 14 August 2023 (UTC)