Talk:William de Chesney/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Ironholds (talk) 14:28, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "Chesney was a member of a large family, and one of his brothers became Bishop of Lincoln and another was Abbot of Evesham Abbey" - "Chesney was part of a large family; one of his brothers became Bishop of Lincoln and another Abbot of Evesham Abbey", I'd suggest. Also, link the brothers;

• Reworded per your suggestion, on the other I've got the brothers linked below when their names are mentioned, I'm trying to avoid the easter egg linkish feel of linking "brother" or "another" in the lede.

• Is there any way to expand the lede?

• I'm open to suggestions on information to include...Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "was a Anglo-Norman " - "was an Anglo-Norman", surely?

• Fixed. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "As well as his offices, Chesney had control of some royal castles, and served Stephen in some of Stephen's campaigns in England." - "As well as his administrative offices, Chesney controlled some royal castles, and served Stephen in some of his English campaigns."

• Fixed. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• Add the Sheriff of Blogland bluelinks to the infobox

• Fixed Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• Is the image appropriate? That space is meant to identify the bloke rather than his possessions.

• Since there are no images at all for the guy (I'd be very surprised if there were, is what I mean), it's my usual practice to include a "place he lived" image in the infobox. It's never been an issue with all of my GAs (50-some) and the 20-some FAs on medieval guys. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "William had a brother Roger.[3] Another brother was Robert de Chesney, who later became Bishop of Lincoln.[4] A third brother, Reginald, became abbot of Evesham Abbey.[5] Other siblings were Hugh, Ralph, Hawise, Beatrice and Isabel" - can you merge this into one sentence?

• Reworded, see how that works. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "William de Chesney was the " - elsewhere you've just used Chesney.

• Fixed. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "Following King Henry's death in 1135" - link "Henry" to distinguish which one it is.

• Fixed. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "and in 1138 also the support " - "and in 1138 the support "

• fixed. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• Link Robert of Gloucester

• He's linked right above.. but I've made that link more explicit. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "have been owned Chesney or held by tenants who held the lands from Chesney" - "have been owned by Chesney or held by tenants he leased the land to"

• No, that's not correct... he didn't "lease" the lands, he subinfeudated them, they were held of him. I've changed the second "Chesney" to "him" to make it less repetitious. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "who was a firm supporter of the Angevin cause" - indicate which side of the Matilda/Stephen dispute this was on

• Reworded a bit. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "1159 through 1161" - "1159 to 1161"

• Err.. why? Through gives the correct impression that it extended into 1161, which "to" leaves ambigous. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• "through to" then? I don't know whether it's an americanism I'm just not familiar with, but "through" on its own seems wrong somehow. Ironholds (talk) 17:16, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• went with "through to" but I don't really think of that as an americanism. Of course, I spend so much time reading both Brit and Yank works that I'm totally confused about a lot of stuff... Ealdgyth - Talk 20:10, 17 February 2010 (UTC)

• You've misspelt "niece".

• Fixed. Ealdgyth - Talk 16:05, 17 February 2010 (UTC)