Talk:William Y. Slack/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Djmaschek (talk · contribs) 04:27, 18 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a. (prose, spelling, and grammar):
Review 1 @Hog Farm: Please fix or argue your case for not fixing. Djmaschek (talk) 05:08, 19 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]
Infobox: Battles/Wars is missing his Mexican-American War service.

Done

Introduction, paragraph 1, sentence 2: "as a child an entered" (an > and).

Corrected

Early life and career, paragraph 1, last sentence: "Slack had also married" ("had also" are not needed in this sentence).

Done

Early life and career, paragraph 2, last sentence: "blocked a retreat route" (blocked the enemy's retreat route).

Done

Civil War service is really lo-o-o-ong. Suggest adding subheaders (Carthage, Wilson's Creek & Pea Ridge?).

Have split this up

I love the State Guard map. It might be helpful to move the map up to paragraph 2 where the article first mentions the 4th Division, MSG.

Done

Civil War service, paragraph 2: "but left the area in June" (What area? Suggest: northwest Missouri or Chillicothe area).

Clarified

Civil War service, paragraph 2: "the state capital" (Be specific. Suggest: Jefferson City, the state capital).

Done

Civil War service, paragraph 4: "time to reorganized" (reorganize).

Corrected

Civil War service, paragraph 4, last sentence: "Overall, the Federal lines repulsed three Confederate assaults, but withdrew from the field." (This sounds wrong. You're summing up a whole battle in one sentence. Replace "Overall" with Ultimately or At day's end? Replace "but withdrew" with before withdrawing? See what you can do with this.).

Have fleshed out some context on Wilson's Creek a little more

Civil War service, paragraph 5, sentence 1: (Needs a period at the end.)

Fixed

Civil War service, paragraph 5, last sentence: "The assigned" (Suggest: His assignment to command).

Tweaked the phrasing

Civil War service, paragraph 7: "that new of Slack's death" (news).

Oops, corrected

Civil War service, paragraph 8: "had a tendence to" (tendency).

Fixed

Civil War service, paragraph 8: "Slack's men "devotedly..." (Slack's men were)

Done

More illustrations (e.g. Wilson's Creek, Pea Ridge, map of Missouri with locations) would really look nice, but are not required.

I've an image of the cemetery he is buried in. I'm not over-awed by the accuracy of the historical prints of Wilson's Creek and Pea Ridge. There's some decent stuff for Lexington/Hemp Bales, but unfortunately Slack missed that one.
b. (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a. (reference section):

b. (citations to reliable sources):

c. (OR):

d. (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a. (major aspects):

b. (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a. (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales):

b. (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/fail:

(Criteria marked are unassessed)

Initial review

@Hog Farm: I want to do this one because I'm on a Civil War kick. Please note that I'm going to be out-of-pocket for a few days and may not get back to this until the middle of next week. Djmaschek (talk) 04:27, 18 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Djmaschek: - I've addressed all of these; sorry for the delay in getting to this. Hog Farm _Talk 01:08, 24 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]

@Hog Farm: GA class. I made one correction in the Early life section that I missed earlier. Djmaschek (talk) 04:22, 24 March 2023 (UTC)[reply]