Talk:William Wurtenburg/GA1
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Reviewer: TonyTheTiger (talk · contribs) 16:47, 11 August 2014 (UTC)
- I will do this review.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 16:47, 11 August 2014 (UTC)
According to the toolbox to the right there is one dead external link.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 21:53, 13 August 2014 (UTC)
- Added archived link.
- No disambiguation page issues.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 21:53, 13 August 2014 (UTC)
I think the term Otolaryngology should be introduced in the LEAD.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:10, 13 August 2014 (UTC)
- Added.
- Early life and college
Use {{convert}} for twelve and eighteen feet to show metric.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:10, 13 August 2014 (UTC)
- Done.
season closer sounds unencyclopedic.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:10, 13 August 2014 (UTC)
- Reworded simply to "season's final contest". Better?
- 1890s
"Wurtenburg did not return to coach Navy the following year, being replaced by Matthew McClung." seems ungrammatical. Year is the closest noun to the subordinate clause starting with being. I don't really think you mean to say that the year was replaced.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:49, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- Reworded. It now reads: "Wurtenburg did not remain at the Naval Academy the following year and was replaced as head coach by Matthew McClung." Is this better?
Why is the wedding in the career section?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 22:49, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- I changed the title, since the section is really about his entire life after college. Is this alright?
- 1900s and death
"One of his players would later state that" -Which one?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:21, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- Clarified.
Is this Elm Street one of the Elm Streets with an article?--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:21, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- No, although it likely could.
- References
remove the scroll bars.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:27, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- Removed
- Images
- All seem to be PD.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:42, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
WP:CAPTION for File:Frank Barbour.jpg is not punctuated even though it seems to be a full sentence.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:45, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- Punctuated.
- Revision history for File:Frank Barbour.jpg is odd. One file is saved over a completely different file, causing one to be lost. Make sure both are available at commons somehow.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:48, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- Is the hidden one so bad that it needed to be removed from the article. The article seems to have plenty of space for another picture.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:49, 15 August 2014 (UTC)
- I honestly have no clue what is going on with the picture. It was uploaded back in 2009, and it appears that User:Cbl62 found a better picture of Barbour and uploaded it over the original. I'll upload the old version to commons later today.
- I'll assume good faith.
Make sure the first two files have--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 23:48, 15 August 2014 (UTC){{personality rights}}
tags even though they are very old images.
- Personality rights added to Wurtenburg's picture. Barbour's image was uploaded here instead of the commons, so I have to wait until it is transferred to add personality rights.
- I am placing this on hold.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 15:32, 16 August 2014 (UTC)
- I believe I have addressed all of your concerns. Thanks for the review, and I apologize for how long it took me to respond. Thanks again, - Awardgive. Help out with Project Fillmore County 15:28, 28 August 2014 (UTC)
- Good job at responding to my concerns. I am Passing this article.--TonyTheTiger (T / C / WP:FOUR / WP:CHICAGO / WP:WAWARD) 19:58, 28 August 2014 (UTC)