Talk:William H. Johnson (artist)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 21:03, 6 April 2016 (UTC)

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 21:03, 6 April 2016 (UTC)

Pre-review comments

Before I review the entire article, I would like to say that the article contains some qualities that mirror lists. And Wikipedia is a not a list, so I would appreciate if the nominator(s) could group like information together to prevent this from appearing to me (and others of course). If you have any questions, comments, or concerns, feel free to contact me personally. I look forward to working with you! Carbrera (talk) 03:49, 24 April 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• His self-portrait used in the infobox needs an alt; please add one
• I see that his middle name is available, so please add "William Henry Johnson" to the birth_name section
• Please fix why the "Influenced_by" section is not showing up in the infobox when the article is published
• Did he win any major awards? Looks like he did in the "Recognition" section below

Lead

Paragraph 1

• The sentence "He married Danish textile artist Holcha Krake" seems a bit out of place at where it is currently located

Paragraph 2

• Add a comma after "powerful folk style..." please
• Should a sentence regarding his teachings at the Harlem Community Art Center be mentioned here? Let me know what you think regarding this issue

Career

Paragraph 1

• Remove the non-existent links to "Louise Fordham Holme" please
• How did the inclusion of art in Louise Fordham Holme's curriculum help Johnson?
• Why did Johnson copy the comic strips in the newspapers?

Paragraph 2

• The sentence beginning with "He spent the late 1920s in France..." could be added to the section above (where the paragraph ends)

Paragraph 3

• My suggestion for this has already been previously mentioned above

Paragraph 4

• Can anything else be said about his awards for the William E. Harmon Foundation?

Paragraph 5

• Why did Jacobia Hotel almost get him arrested?
• What is significant about the YMCA exhibition mention?

Paragraph 6

• Why did the "inter-racial couple" experience prejudice in the United States? What happened that made this happen?

Paragraph 7

• Pretty good paragraph! :)

Paragraph 8

• Rephrase lead/topic sentence to "In 1942, his Johnson's artwork and supplies were destroyed in a fire that occurred in his art studio;"
• Rephrase second sentence to "in 1944, Johnson suffered from further loss when Holcha died from breast cancer."
• No source for his death date, plus reference [10} looks stylistically awkward at its current placement

Recognition

Paragraph 1

• Legal guardian? What do you mean by this? Isn't Johnson an adult?

Paragraph 2

• You don't need to list specific dates for his exhibitions towards the end of this section; they are unnecessary (the years will do just fine)

Paragraph 3

• Put quotation marks around "American Treasures"

End of GA Review:

Although I like the constant amount of facts used in the article, they seem to be listed rather than incorporated into the text. Yes, this problem exists throughout the entire article, but it needs to be taken care of. I am also afraid that this article could be greatly expanded, as it is relatively short yet has some great sources available. I will place the article on hold for seven days to allow these problems like this to be taken care of. Thank you. Carbrera (talk) 16:35, 30 April 2016 (UTC)

Response to GA review

• Hello @Carbrera:, I have followed up with the comments above. I was able to get a copy of the Powell Homecoming which gives substantially more information than the other sources, and to expand a number of the paragraphs about which you had raised concerns. In a couple of places where I was able to expand things, I've broken one paragraph into two. Thanks so much for all your work on the review. Please let me know what my next steps on this should be. Mary Mark Ockerbloom (talk) 20:02, 7 May 2016 (UTC)

• @Mary Mark Ockerbloom: Superb job on the expansion! I see nothing grammatically incorrect or formatted incorrectly, but I will review it once more for the GA process. Primarily, I noticed that two of the images in the article are in the same line of the article, but one is on the left side and the other is on the right side. I would recommend moving one of the images so that this is no longer an issue. I will complete my review shortly; thank you for your patience. Carbrera (talk) 21:21, 18 May 2016 (UTC)

• Done @Carbrera:, thanks for your help! Mary Mark Ockerbloom (talk) 14:06, 19 May 2016 (UTC)

• I apologize for my absence, I sincerely thought I had completed my review of this article. Definitely GA status now, a complete upgrade from its former state–great work! It was a pleasure working with you. Cheers, Carbrera (talk) 03:10, 23 May 2016 (UTC)