Talk:Will Middlebrooks/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

---

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Zepppep (talk · contribs) 08:39, 28 October 2012 (UTC)

• I will be reviewing this article.
• Lead: "the team traded": change to "organization"
  • Changed – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • If he went to A&M on a scholarship, I would mention his univ in the lead, particularly since he appears to have been recruited to play two sports for A&M
    • He committed to A&M, but bypassed that to sign with the Red Sox. Since he didn't attend A&M, it doesn't seem to belong in the lead that he committed – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

If

• • All-Star needs to be linkable upon first mention, even though it's referring to a different player
    • Linked – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • What is the notability of PoW in the lead? I feel it mentioning it in the body suffices. Additionally, for balance, I'm thinking Youkilis being named PoW just two weeks later is also necessary; readers may get the idea that Youkilis was traded because he was no longer able to produce
    • Removed from lead – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
• Amateur career: "In high school...": high school mentioned 2x; remove 2nd mention.
  • Removed the second – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "American football": rmv "American"
    • To be inclusive of the WP:WORLDVIEW, it's important to distinguish American football from other games known as "football" – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

Hmm...for an article about an American living in the U.S. and the article uses North American spelling...if you want to keep it as is, I won't tussle with it. (See below, however, for note re: consistency.)

• • "he played high school football with": change to "played on the school's football team, which also featured Lamichael James."
    • Done – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "while in high school, he committed to": which year? any particular reason why he chose A&M? was he offered a scholarship? was he pursued by any other schools?
    • Full scholarship. Probably was pursued by other schools but not seeing it out there. – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

OK, but please add the year to give a sense of chronology to the reader.

Good, full scholarship is easily detailed now. However, I would argue receiving a scholarship to a Div-I univ, perhaps to play two sports, is more deserving of mention than his high school. I don't see HS mentioned too often in baseball articles (and typically only the bad ones), including FAs like Derek Jeter.

Well, Jeter has been in the majors since 1995 (1996 if you want to talk about continuous service), so there's a slight apples and oranges comparison there. I added the college commitment to the lead, though. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 30 October 2012 (UTC)

Committed to Texas A&M November 2006, the fall of his senior year

• • What type of stats did he have whilst at A&M?
    • Did not attend A&M. Made that more clear in the last sentence of the first paragraph of the Professional career section – 

Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

Writing is more clear. Now that I see he never played a game with A&M...

• Professional career: "had been projected" by whom?

• • Ref 5 and the new ref I added from BP suggest he was seen as a consensus first round pick

• • "The Boston Red Sox drafted Middlebrooks fifth": add "in the"
    • Added – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "where he batted": batting average is already linked in previous section; removed link
    • Removed – Muboshgu (talk) 17:57, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "as he added size": "weight" is likely meant here and if so, the number of pounds he added should be mentioned
    • Clarified that it was muscle – Muboshgu (talk) 22:45, 30 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "Carlina league in 2010,": remove comma
    • Removed – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "ESPN called": the entire network? the magazine? or likely just a writer or one on-air analyst; adjust accorindgly
    • The author works for ESPN, but is not notable on his own. The author wrote this on behalf of ESPN, which means ESPN owns his comments, no? – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

Just trying to ascertain if it was a column, on-air analyst, etc. If it is an author, might suggest "wrote" instead of "called" or adding "author Joe..." Since the person is not notable, I'm OK if you keep the author's name in or remove his name.

Okay. I put the name in and will keep it in. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:45, 30 October 2012 (UTC)

• • I'm generally not a fan of mixing stats from differing levels of minor league ball. Keep Double-A stats with Double-A, Trip-A with Trip-A. Additionally, his Double-A stats is likely what led him to go up one level, so this should precede his promotion. If he was promoted simply due to injury, then this should be mentioned to avoid the reader being given the impression he was promoted due to performance rather than need. Adjust accordingly
    • Fair point. He was promoted because he raked, not due to injury. Now adjusted. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:45, 30 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "heading into the 2012 season,": move comma to behind "overall" or after the comma put the other clause in parentheses
    • "Heading into the 2012 season, Baseball America rated Middlebrooks as the Red Sox' best prospect and 51st best prospect overall" – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "93 at-bats": link this stat upon first mention
    • Linked – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "walking in his first plate appearance": link this stat upon first mention
    • Linked – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "and recording two hits": so what did he go for the day, 2-for-4 or what?
  • "Baltimore": change to "Baltimore Orioles" and link it
    • Done – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • "Youkilis": use full name since the first mention was all the way up in the lead, and make in linkable
    • Youkilis is already linked above in the paragraph, after where it says "93 at-bats" – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

Guess I didn't see the 2nd mention. Thanks.

• • "hit by a pitch in August": when in August? which team and/or pitcher was this against?
    • August 10 against Cleveland, pitcher not mentioned in the citations already present and I don't think it's important enough to dig through to find and include, though I could be swayed – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

As long as the feeling wasn't that he was HBP on purpose or that the pitcher was disciplined afteward, then I'd agree further details are not necessary.

• • "That week,": either need to be more specific with the trade date of Youkilis, or mention the specific week he was trade and then perhaps in parentheses mention he was PoW the same week he was named to replace Youkilis
    • Youk traded June 23, PoW for the week ending June 24
  • "54 RBI": RBIs
    • Fixed – Muboshgu (talk) 18:19, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
• Personal: if he grew up in Texarkana, I'm a) not sure if this is worthy of mention considering he went to HS in the same town and this is mentioned in Amateur (which I would recommend renaming to Early life), and b) if this is to be mentioned, would place it in Early life and look to merge it with the sentence which lists which HS he went to
  • "Middlebrooks' mother": if mentioning his father and sisters' names, why not his mother's? Also, what is meant by "artists?" Dancers? painters? sculptors? musicians?
    • Mother is Julie. It says she's an "art teacher", I assume that means in a school but don't see any further detail out there – Muboshgu (talk) 18:31, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

OK, simply stating "his mother, Julie, an art teacher" suffices.

• • Why is he friends with Mallet, b/c the two grew up in the same area? B/c they went to football camps together? State why
    • Fathers both football coaches, Mallet moved to the Texarkana area in 7th grade – Muboshgu (talk) 18:10, 29 October 2012 (UTC)

It's good. Now just a little confused as to how Mallet's father being a football coach is relevant. If he influenced Middlebrooks or had interaction with him, or if he coached against Middlebrooks' dad, then OK, but it appears Tom was just an ass't coach. Also, if you're reasoning for "American football" is as stated above, then it needs to be "American football" here as well.

Removed the bit about Mallet's father, I had thought it was a commonality that linked them, but see no proof of that. American football it is. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:29, 30 October 2012 (UTC)

• • "cheerleader, They": change comma to period, or better yet, look to make all details into just one sentence. Rmv comma after "hometown" no matter how it all shakes out
    • Fixed – Muboshgu (talk) 18:10, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
• References: make sure newspapers are italicized (likely the wrong markup code use, such as "web" instead of "news" citation style).
  • Kennebec Journal: need to mention location of newspapers where the location can't be gathered from the publication name
    • Augusta, Maine – Muboshgu (talk) 18:22, 29 October 2012 (UTC)
  • Boston.com, etc.: whilst the article may have been accessed on the web, the publication name should be used. If the article came in fact from a web-only article, or blog, use appropriate markup. Additionally, "Boston.com" is italicized in #15 but not in #8
    1. 11 appears to have two websites listed and indeed if it's from Mlb.com, should have publisher info like it appears in #19
    • Fixed. It's on MiLB.com, though, not MLB.com, so it's not the same as the one that used to be #19. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 30 October 2012 (UTC)
    1. 16 is missing publisher info but not #27, fix accordingly
    • Fixed

1. 31 I have a feeling the info for this one is either incomplete or incorrect

• Not sure how you mean – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 30 October 2012 (UTC)

I meant #35. I've checked the source, however, and that is indeed the "work."

1. 22 make sure all newspapers which have a WP article are linkable, and make sure the full name of the publication is used (this one needs "The" added)

• Done – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 30 October 2012 (UTC)

1. 21 the citation template has likely been used incorrectly

• Fixed – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 30 October 2012 (UTC)

• Overall: I feel this article needs a bit of expansion and would benefit from some direct quotes during various stages of his career, or quotes from publications/analsysts. Also, how did the club and Boston fans respond to Middlebrooks replacing Youkilis? The writing is a bit dry, even for an encyclopedia.
  • I see nothing much from Boston fans about Middlebrooks replacing Youkilis specifically, most of it seems to be the send off of Youkilis, which isn't part of the subject of Middlebrooks (the standing ovation and curtain call when he was taken out of the game for a pinch runner, specifically). Boston fans seemed to understand that Middlebrooks is the guy for the future while Youkilis was the past. – Muboshgu (talk) 22:27, 30 October 2012 (UTC)
• Player profile: would recommend creation of this section, especially for articles which have little content due to short career.
  • Added – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 30 October 2012 (UTC)
• Organization: would recommend creating headings or subheadings, separating minor league career from major league, especially since it's likely a good foundation for the article in years to come assuming he has at least a few more seasons in the bigs.
  • Subsections created – Muboshgu (talk) 22:21, 30 October 2012 (UTC)

Zepppep (talk) 08:39, 28 October 2012 (UTC) Zepppep (talk) 10:24, 28 October 2012 (UTC)

• Made a few edits to references, such as publisher vs. work vs. newspaper. Also, I removed the first use of ref #35, as there were already two refs associated with that small sentence and the following sentence also used #35. I'm passing it. Congrats! Zepppep (talk) 00:02, 31 October 2012 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.