Talk:Will Champion/GA1

GA Review

Passed. Kj cheetham (talk) 12:11, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Kj cheetham (talk · contribs) 16:39, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Starting review. -Kj cheetham (talk) 16:39, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
Ok
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (inline citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
Copyvio check only flagged up quotes, album names, and list of drums/cymbals, which is probably okay.
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
Ok.
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
Seems neutrally worded.
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
Seems stable.
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have non-free use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Images fine, with captions and appropriate licenses.
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Hi GustavoCza and Cherrell410, I've done a partial review.

Comments:

Lead - fine. Some things from here aren't mentioned in the main body of the article, but are about Coldplay rather than Champion so that's ok.

Early life - fine.

Career - fine.

Musical style - fine.

Personal life - fine.

Discography - fine, but probably needs a ref.

Further reading - noted Roach, Martin (2003) is one of the refs, but the ref is only page 41 rather than the whole book, so that's fine.

Overall, quite a few quotes, but I think it's ok, and is well-written.

Optional grammar suggestions:

"anthropology at University College London" to "anthropology from University College London"

"Highfield suburb of the city close" to "Highfield suburb of the city, close"

" his older brother, they attended Highfield Church regularly as well." to "his older brother, and they attended Highfield Church regularly."

"Champion did not always enjoyed" to "Champion did not always enjoy"

"in spite of basically not" to "in spite of not"

"investor of their namesake" to "investor in their namesake.

"he visited University of Southampton" to "he visited the University of Southampton"

"also owns a Yamaha hardware" to "also owns Yamaha hardware"

"not confident to play" to "not confident enough to play"

"became part his performance" to "became part of his performance"

"parents Tim and Sara used" to "parents, Tim and Sara, used"

"also commented" to "also commented that"

"During Music of the Spheres World Tour" to "During the Music of the Spheres World Tour"

I'm sure there's Oxford comma issues, but definitely not required for GA.

I still need to do a copyvio check (Earwig isn't working for me right now for some reason), and to look at sourcing, but I'll put it on hold in the meantime. I should be able to have another look within the coming days. Thanks. -Kj cheetham (talk) 17:07, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

All corrected. GustavoCza (talk • contribs) 18:06, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Oh, I forgot to comment on the discography sources: his drumming in Past Perfect Future Tense (2004) and Someday World (2014) are already mentioned in "Other projects", so I don't think it's necessary to put another reference there. GustavoCza (talk • contribs) 18:12, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good to me, and I agree about the discography sourcing. I've done the copyvio check now too, which is mostly ok. https://copyvios.toolforge.org/?lang=en&project=wikipedia&oldid=1172534176&action=compare&url=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.musicradar.com%2Fnews%2Fdrums%2Fwill-champion-on-world-domination-with-coldplay-new-kits-and-the-art-of-waiting-640887 shows it mostly just flagged quotes and the list of kit. I just need to do the sourcing spot checks, then can move onto passing this I think. -Kj cheetham (talk) 19:00, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Ok! GustavoCza (talk • contribs) 19:06, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GustavoCza, and here is my sourcing spot check!

[2] confirms the 100 million figure, but couldn't see where Parlophone have not disclosed the amount of records is verified?

[4] ok (the note in brackets saved me some time!)

[6] confirms education, but not being raised in Highfield.

[7] this one confirms Highfield though.

[11] confirmed a quote.

[12] ok

[14] ok

[16] ok

[18] link didn't work for me, so should probably mark it as dead, but the archive version is ok.

[20] ok

[22] also should be marked as dead, but archive is ok

[24] ok

[26] ok

[28] ok

[30] ok, though it was on page 5 rather than the first page

[32] ok, though it was on page 4 rather than the first page

[34] ok

[36] a book I don't have access too, but taking on good faith it's ok (it definitely looks like the right page)

[38] not sure why this isn't split into two refs. The first of them confirms two children, but not three?

[42] confirmed he drew one in Portugal, but not sure it says for each city he visited?

-Kj cheetham (talk) 19:26, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

P.S. Actually for [30], the equipment stuff is on page 5, but some of the quotes are on other pages. -Kj cheetham (talk) 19:49, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

[2] Parlophone just... didn't disclosed it, at least not in their most recent press releases anyway. I placed that note because most record labels report the amount of records (albums + singles) to pretend their artists are bigger than they actually are.

[31] I'm assuming you confused reference [32] with this one. I specified the page now too, I personally prefer 5 rather than 4 because in 5 the writer states "energetic as always", compared to describing just one song.

[36] I replaced it with a more accessible reference, I own all of Coldplay's albums and can confirm it's true.

[38] I don't like to split references, it looks cluttered. The Guardian's article mentions he is "father of a two-year-old and three-week-old twins", which is three.

[42] The reference doesn't say for each city, I placed it as an example, otherwise I would have to cite each one of his tweets (You can check the drawings here). GustavoCza (talk • contribs) 20:13, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

As for the references you asked me to mark as dead: done! GustavoCza (talk • contribs) 20:15, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Oh, just a further note on the sales note. Some users kept trying to change "albums" to "records", that was another reason for me to create it. Placing as "records" and pretending those are not album sales alone undermines Coldplay's actual success. GustavoCza (talk • contribs) 20:20, 27 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

GustavoCza I missed the word "twins" in The Guardian article, hence me thinking it said only two, and I think I had mixed up [31] and [32], apologies! All fine now except for [42], as it feels like a bit of WP:OR to say it was every city he visited without a source explicitly saying that. Maybe just change to something like "for cities visited" or similar, and add another example? -Kj cheetham (talk) 10:15, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Done! GustavoCza (talk • contribs) 11:51, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

Good work, I'm now happy to pass this! -Kj cheetham (talk) 12:10, 28 August 2023 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.