Talk:Wilhelm Beck/GA1

GA Review

The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: PCN02WPS (talk · contribs) 21:25, 17 January 2024 (UTC)

I'll review this. If you have any interest in returning the favor I have a list of unreviewed nominations that can be seen here. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 21:25, 17 January 2024 (UTC)

Lead/infobox

• "him most notably presenting the original draft for the constitution of Liechtenstein" → wording on this bit is just a little awkward, maybe split into two sentences?

Early life

• "where received a diploma" → missing word
• "member of the historical association of Liechtenstein" → If the "Historical Association of Liechtenstein" is a proper organization, then "historical association" should be capitalized

Law career

• "In 1912 he worked with Swiss lawyer and councillor Emil Grünenfelder" → not required, but you can add "the" before "Swiss" to avoid a WP:FALSETITLE
• "who supported Beck throughout" → I don't think his name is required here; since you use "who" which clearly refers to Grünenfelder, I think you can get away with "who supported him throughout"
• "law firm in Vaduz" → Vaduz is already linked in "Early life" so you can remove the link here

Political career

• See also link is a redirect; make "putsch" lowercase to fix this
• "Beck criticized the existing" → "He criticized the existing"
• "In 1914 Beck formed" → "In 1914 he formed"
• "the Governor of Liechtenstein" → lowercase "governor"
• "deeply dissatisfied by Imhof's handling of the economy and who wanted a Liechtensteiner head of state" → sentence gets a little confusing, recommend splitting up somewhere
• "in the Landtag of Liechtenstein on 7 November" → recommend a quick note mentioning that this is the legislative body, as that is not clear to readers unfamiliar with Liechtenstein
• "power of Governor to a Provisional Executive Committee" → lowercase "governor" and I believe you can do the same for the other capitalized words
• "led by Ritter and Johann II accepted Imhof's resignation" → reads as a run-on; recommend ending the sentence after "Ritter" and starting the next "Johann II"
• "Beck was a co-founder of the Christian-Social People's Party in February 1918" → "Beck cofounded the Christian-Social People's Party in February 1918"
• "elected into the Landtag of Liechtenstein" → delink as the link is given in the previous paragraph; also don't think "of Liechtenstein" is necessary here since the full term has already been introduced and there is no risk of ambiguity
• "When Johann II appointed" → remove duplicate link here since Johann II is already linked in para 1 of previous section
• Remove link to "Governor of Liechtenstein" since that's already linked too; also remove caps from "governor"
• Remove link to Christian-Social People's Party since that's already linked
• "limited the power of the Prince of Liechtenstein for" → remove caps from "prince"
• "With assistance from Josef Peer" → Peer is linked in the previous paragraph
• "After the Christian-Social People's Party won" → Remove link to Christian-Social People's Party since that's already linked
• "serve as the President of the Landtag of Liechtenstein" → remove caps from "president"
• "involving the National Bank of Liechtenstein" → remove link since this is linked in the previous paragraph
• "Johann II forced his government" → remove link
• "In 1932 an indictment was conducted..." → This is a very long run-on sentence which needs to be split
• "though he appealed this ruling, he did not live to see it's outcome" → "...see its outcome", the contraction is incorrect here
• "After the 1928 Liechtenstein general election Beck" → remove link; also think about removing "Liechtenstein" here since it's quite clear the country being discussed and because the election has already been mentioned
• "over the leadership of the Christian-Social People's Party and was again elected to the Landtag of Liechtenstein" → remove both duplicate links
• "the Christian-Social People's Party and" → same thing here
• "Beck died on 20 January 1936 in Walenstadt, aged 50 years old" → this seems more appropriate in "Personal life"; also in my opinion "years old" is unnecessary here since "aged" is included

Personal life

• "a teacher from Wittenbach" → since this is set off as an appositive, a comma is needed after "Wittenbach"
• "served in the Landtag of Liechtenstein" → IMO only "Landtag" is needed here since the reader knows by now that Liechtenstein is being discussed and its mention here is only informal

Literature

• If this is a list of the works Beck wrote, I would make that apparent

References

• FN 9 and FN 21 are identical and can be combined
• Recommend archiving sources; I can do that if you'd like
• I also ran a script to fix issues with dashes

That's all I've got - a bit of work to do but only on relatively minor things, especially sentence structure and duplicate links (have a quick read over WP:DUPLINK for those guidelines). Placing on hold. PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 23:10, 17 January 2024 (UTC)

@PCN02WPS Thanks for the review. I have made a series of edits to address what you have mentioned. Please advise. TheBritinator (talk) 13:20, 18 January 2024 (UTC)

Looking great. Just a few more things that need either a fix or a comment:

• "though he appealed this ruling, he did not live to see it's outcome" - replace "it's" with "its" and change comma after "in 1935" to semicolon
• "aged 50 years old" - nix "years old"

PCN02WPS (talk | contribs) 14:00, 18 January 2024 (UTC)

Done. TheBritinator (talk) 16:02, 18 January 2024 (UTC)

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.