Talk:Wilf Barber/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: —Aaroncrick (talk) 11:35, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Hi Sarastro1, I'll be reviewing this article. The rules for GA reviews are stated at Good Article criteria. Feel free to respond to my comments under each one, and please sign each response, so that it's clear who said what.

Lead comments

... was a first-class cricketer who played for the Yorkshire County Cricket Club from 1926 to 1947. Add the?

It would normally just be Yorkshire CCC, not the Yorkshire CCC.

He played two Test matches for England in 1935 against South Africa. He was a professional batsman with an excellent batting technique. Try not to start two consecutive sentences with he.

Reworded it.

Link to Forward defence?

I could link to this, but not sure it covers it. Defensive would not just cover playing lots of forward defensives; Yorkshire at this time were notoriously slow scoring and a bit tedious to watch at times.

I was thinking the same, maybe an article needs creating? Anyway, don't worry about it for the moment. —Aaroncrick (talk) 09:40, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"He scored 16,402 runs in first-class cricket at an average of 34.28 with 29 centuries." Link all.

Done except for first-class which is linked with "first class cricketer". --Sarastro1 (talk) 20:11, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"He played at a time when Yorkshire dominated the County Championship." Seems a bit random there at the end.

Removed it. Was trying to make the point that he played in a successful team but you're right and it just doesn't work! --Sarastro1 (talk) 20:09, 1 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

General comments

Now, to be totally honest I don't think you've spent too much time writing this one. The article is rather boring and doesn't flow. Four consecutive sentences in the first section start with he. Would you mind giving a sell copyedit, because I know you can do much better, depite info on the guy being quite scarce.

Point taken! I've given it a copyedit and tried to make it flow a bit better. A bit tricky, due to lack of info, and the danger of it becoming a list of statistics. Is it any better now?--Sarastro1 (talk) 11:10, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Much better, thankyou :) Aaroncrick ^TALK 21:14, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Gasp... and in the Retirement section, seven consecutive sentences start with he. Enough said.

Yeah, yeah, yeah... :) Fixed it.--Sarastro1 (talk) 11:10, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Can the lead be expanded slightly to comply with WP:LEAD?

I've expanded it a bit.--Sarastro1 (talk) 11:10, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Are you sure there is no free use image available?

—Aaroncrick (talk) 09:38, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

I don't have anything from before the 1930s and nothing from when he went to Australia. And even if I did have images, I can't scan them at the moment.--Sarastro1 (talk) 11:10, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Is there any info on his family and early life? Aaroncrick ^TALK 10:55, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Not that I know of. No biography, and only a few things in Yorkshire cricket books. No details about his personal life at all.--Sarastro1 (talk) 11:09, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Further comments

Link West Indians and South Africans in opening section para.

Done: Linked to the articles on the tour in question rather than the Test side. --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:26, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"In total, he played 22 times to score 857 runs at an average of 30.60 ..." Possibly change to: "In total, he played on 22 occasions and scored 857 runs at an average of 30.60 ..."

Done. --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:26, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"These performances earned his selection ..." Change to him.

Done, although I think either his or him would work here. --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:26, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

"He also took a wicket with his second (and final) ball in Test cricket when the match was heading towards an obvious draw and that wicket ended the game." Very awkward sentence.

Changed to make it flow better, hopefully. (He technically has the lowest average and strike rate of any test bowler, but this is far too obscure to put in!) --Sarastro1 (talk) 22:26, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]

Aaroncrick ^TALK 21:13, 2 April 2010 (UTC)[reply]