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Talk:Wildlife (La Dispute album)/GA2

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GA Review

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Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 08:43, 6 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Comments

  • [Fair use rationale checked out good for infobox image].
  • "The band members of La Dispute took..." not sure you need "of La Dispute" really, no ambiguity exists as to which band you're talking about.
  • "No Sleep Records" is a label not in italics, "Better Living" is a label but is in italics, be consistent with the formatting.
  • " that- while " -> "that – while" etc.
  • " home town Grand Rapids-" perhaps "home town of Grand Rapids –..."
  • "Somewhere at the" or "Somewhere At the...." be consistent with the album title.
  • "on the long time between" loathe as I am to repeat "delay", it's better than "long time"...
  • "The writing of the album did not start until a year after La Dispute's debut album" seems to conflict with "The album was written over a very long period, with the first complete track being created as early as late 2009".
  • "two months straight," no need for "straight".
  • "during which they had writing sessions lasting twelve to fourteen" during which their writing sessions lasted twelve to fourteen...
  • "They recorded the remainder..." -> "La Dispute recorded..."
  • "does very long takes" dislike "does", perhaps "makes"?
  • "described as having" by whom?
  • Several quotes throughout that aren't attributed, e.g. "delicate fingerpicked work and ripping chords", "emotionally draining" etc. Should say who said these things.
  • Don't think you need to link faith.
  • "a Poem" is sometimes in quotes not italics, sometimes not in quotes but in italics (i.e. a Poem), be consistent.
  • "Singer and lyricist Jordan Dreyer.." you've already introduced him in previous sections...
  • " posted a blog post" repetitive.
  • "via SIQ SHIT" what is "SIQ SHIT"?
  • "free to download. The download, although free," repetitive.
  • "organization that is dedicated" no need for "that is".
  • "added up to" ->" totaled"
  • "in Europe, Australia and North America, respectively" no need for "respectively".
  • Balance And Composure look like they're actually called Balance and Composure.
  • Similar comment applies to Make Do and Mend.
  • "off of"? you mean "from"?
  • " in September 2012[45]" period missing.
  • What is the notability of "The 1st Five"?
  • " the albums large stylistic" apostrophe missing.
  • "Sputnik Music " is called "Sputnikmusic " according to our article.
  • " it achieved some attention for end-of-year" -> "it featured in some end-of-year"?
  • "Additional Liner Notes" -> Additional liner notes.
  • Check for spaced hyphens in the personnel lists, should be spaced en-dashes per WP:DASH.
  • "Backing Vocals" -> "backing vocals"
  • "Mastering Engineer" -> "Mastering engineer".
  • Lot of red links in the refs, are these all likely to get articles?
  • Mix of italics and non-italics for magazines, these are "works" and should be in italics.
  • Avoid SHOUTING in the ref titles.

A lot to look at on a first pass through. Article is on hold for a week. The Rambling Man (talk) 11:17, 6 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

1. Amendments have been met to the best of my ability.
2. I believe all files (visual and audio) fit the criteria of fair use.
3. The 1st Five has editorial oversight, in-depth reviewing, (from my perspective) good quality grammar and writing, just so happens to be published online.

Jonjonjohny (talk) 20:27, 7 March 2014 (UTC)[reply]

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