Talk:Wilbur Dartnell/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk · contribs) 11:18, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Will come back shortly. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 11:18, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Section 1; para 1; It is mentioned that he became and actor. Could something be mentioned about his acting career? Because in the next sentence it is mentioned that he joined the Victorian Mounted Rifles i.e that he joined the army. Why was his acting career stopped abruptly. Also age of 15 is generally the school age, that contradicts with the previous sentence.
- Unfortunately, nothing more specific is known about his acting career. I have searched through a range of books, articles and newspapers to no avail. However, I disagree that the sentences are contradictory. During the period in question, it was not at all uncommon for people in their early teens to leave school and join the work force. Also, aside from its service in the Boer War, the Victorian Mounted Rifles was a part-time militia unit, whose members would have also held other employment (such as Dartnell with acting).

That's fine. In that case, mention that Victorian Mounted Rifles was a part-time militia unit, else it would lead to a confusion as I had. You may mention it in the main prose or a note, as you wish. Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 13:57, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done. Cheers, Abraham, B.S. (talk) 14:28, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Section 1; para 1; In "was wounded on 6 April – his 16th birthday", instead of ndash, mdash must be used, because it is an explanation for the previous sentence. ndash is used for number ranges only, for example, for date ranges, page ranges etc.
- The use here is in convention with WP:DASHES. However, I have made the change to an em-dash.
Section 1; para 2; Who is "Elizabeth Edith Smyth"? Could something be mentioned about her nationality or background?
- Unfortunately, nothing more specific is known.
Section 1; para 2; Link Weekly Standard to its article.
- There is no article for this newspaper, unfortunately. The Weekly Standard that does have an article is an American publication.
Section 1; para 2; last sentence; Instead of "During this time", consider using "During this period", a better alternative.
- Done.
Section 1; para 2; last sentence; Who is "Mabel Evans"? Could something be mentioned about her nationality or background? And why "a" is mentioned before the name. Remove that.
- Unfortunately, nothing more is known here either. Also, the "a" is commonly used for persons about whom little is known.
Section 2; para 1; Link "First World War" on the first mention.
- Done.
Section 2; para 1; Remove the word "eager" from "cabled the War Office with a list of the eager names (including his own)" per NPOV. It is not advisable. "with a list of names" is just enough.
- Done.
Section 2; para 1; Link the word "enlist" to Wikitionary page as it not understood by a general reader. Use the following code, [[:wikt:enlist|enlist]].
- I respectfully disagree on this point. I think most (particularly readers of this article) would understand the word, and I believe it is made clear by the following sentence in any case.
Section 2; para 1; I think the words "unit" "British" must be rearranged in the sentence "and was reputedly the only unit Britain "sent on active service during the war without preliminary training"".
- Done.
Section 2.1; para 1; Removed the dup link of "German East Africa".
- As the previous link is not explicit, I think the double link is fine in this case.
Section 3; sentence 1; Add "the highest award of the United Kingdom honours system", after Victoria Cross (VC).
- As this is explained in the introduction, and in the Victoria Cross article, I respectfully don't think it necessary here.
Lead; Removed the dup-link of Victoria cross. It is first linked from "VC".
- As it is initially linked in a post-nominal, it is quite possible that many would overlook the link. So I think it is okay to repeat here.
Per MOS:DATERANGE, full date ranges must be mentioned, for example, it must be 1900–1902, not 1900–02. Please correct them throughout the article.
- Eh. Policy keeps changing on this. Done.
In the Infobox, in the unit field, years of service in the respective units are not required. Remove them.
- Respectfully disagree. This is a relatively common practice across similar articles.
Image "William Dartnell 1900 P00556.001.jpg", has the wrong date, Date field is the date of creation of the photograph not the upload date. As per the source, it was taken somewhere in 1900. So use "c. 1900". "c." means "circa".
- Done.
Also the main image "Dartnell, W.T.jpg" has a maintenance tag. It is to be moved to commons. I suggest you to upload the image to commons and tag this for deletion under CSD F8 criteria. Because the image is freely licensed under PD-US.
- I have tagged the image as reviewed, so it should hopefully be copied to Commons shortly.

Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 12:11, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Many thanks for the review, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga. It is much appreciated. :) Cheers, Abraham, B.S. (talk) 13:09, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:

Regards, Krishna Chaitanya Velaga (talk • mail) 14:34, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Abraham, B.S. (talk) 14:36, 21 October 2016 (UTC)[reply]