Talk:Who Am I? (Pale Waves album)/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: The Rambling Man (talk · contribs) 20:29, 8 September 2021 (UTC)

Comments

• "the band members Ciara" reiterate Pale Waves here as this is the first para of the main body so it's fair to just link the band at this point.

• Done!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "(Heather Baron-..." never a fan of completely parenthesised sentences, good for a footnote.

• Done!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "nevertheless traumatic" according to whom?

• Fixed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "also had a significant impact on the release of the album" why? Digital releases were fine?

• That's a good question! The source is not crystal clear, but I think it was logistics related to recording and touring. It seems that the pandemic forced them to record virtually and torpedoed a possibility of a tour, so they bumped it all back a bit. But that's a guess on my part.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:48, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• " think the first batch of demos" this is a huuuuge quote. What's the really significant part? Can it be trimmed down just a little?

• I snipped it down a bit. How is it looking now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:43, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "told Coup de Main that " what's that?

• Fixed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "So important was Luck..." there are a few direct quotes hereafter, they should really be inline cited immediately after each quote.

• Fixed! I usually do that, but some people complain that it's overlinking. More than happy to oblige here.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "Baron-Gracie told NME, "I know" NME is overlinked.

• Fixed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "in Los Angeles, California as Baron" comma after Cali.

• Fixed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "Heather Baron-Gracie and Ciara Doran" unless there's any chance of ambiguity, no need to repeat first names.

• Fixed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "with NME magazine " overlinked. And no need to explain here it's a magazine.

• Fixed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "Promotion and singles" descends into proseline. Try making a couple of engaging paragraphs out of those factoids.

• I can probably add some info about the videos, but for right now, I collapsed them down into two paragraphs, which seems to look OK.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:39, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "Smith of NME magazine' see above.

• Fixed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• "emo pop" link?

• Link added.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• Accolades table doesn't need to be sortable. Just one entry.

• Fixed!--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• " the Official Physical Albums Charts (OOC), the" overlinked, and how does OOC work??

  It seems that those are linked automatically. Or are you referring to the in-text instances?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:34, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• Spaced hyphens in the following refs should be en-dashes: 33, 39, 41, 45.

• These should be patched up now.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:35, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• All time ranges e.g. 10:23-11:59 need to be en-dashes.

• Fixed.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:38, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

• Are you linking websites/publishers first time, all times, randomly? What's the strategy?

• It should be upon first mention. I think I cleaned that up a bit, at least in the main body text.--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:38, 10 September 2021 (UTC)

That's all I have. The Rambling Man (Keep wearing the mask...) 20:16, 9 September 2021 (UTC)

@The Rambling Man: How does this all look now?--Gen. Quon (Talk) 00:49, 10 September 2021 (UTC)