Talk:White-tailed bumblebee
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Comments and Changes Made 10/20/2015
[edit]Overall, the Bombus bimaculatus entry is well organized and provides insightful information about this species. The writing is condensed and very accessible ensuring that the complex behaviors discussed can be understood by a wide audience. I am especially impressed by the “Bombus lucorum complex” within the Relatedness section, I thought the author did a particularly good job of explaining this complex subject. When editing this paper there were a few places in which there needed to be additions of linked words to enhance the reader's understanding. In the "Taxonomy/Phylogeny" section, I included a link for the word Hymenoptera, Apidae, Bombus and B. terrestris. Linking these words just ensures that readers can have a further source of understanding. Within the "Queens, Males and Workers" section, I linked he geographical regions mentioned (Norway and Gotland). This just gives the readers a better perspective of where they were found. I also added all geographical regions within the “Distribution and Habitat” section. Within the "Colony" section, I linked pheromones and hibernation because those words are really essential for understanding the behaviors described in this section. I was linked the word cuckoo bee within the “Parasites” subsection because it was a central word for the paragraph. Lastly I made an stylistic change in the “Overview” section by rearranging a lot of the sentence structure and moved some of the sentences around.. I made this change because it was hard for readers to understand what was being said and rearranging a few sentences got the point across much better. I think that the reader could add more to the nest description section perhaps by providing more details about the internal structure. Helenaxeros (talk) 22:17, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
Comments and Revisions
[edit]This entry is well-written. The nectar robbing section was very interesting. It was intriguing to learn that this bee found a way to make their short tongues useful. I made some changes in the Overview, Taxonomy, and Queens, Males, and Workers sections. In the Overview, there was a sentence discussing the wide usage of the specie's name, which I revised for ease of flow. In the Taxonomy section, I linked some species names. In the Queens, Males, and Workers section, I combined a couple short sentences. I would love to see more about their nests, more particularly what they are made of, and how they defend it. But overall, this entry is off to a great start! Liz.yucknut (talk) 20:55, 20 October 2015 (UTC)
Student Review
[edit]This article contains a wide variety of specific topics on the white-tailed bumblebee. The first thing that I added was a citation in the “Queens, males, and workers” section after the statement of the queen length. In the same section, I also added an in-text link to the location “Fennoscandia.” In the introduction, I added the short phrase “and some parts of Asia” to the end of the first sentence. Although it originally only stated its habitation in Europe, the article goes on to discuss its presence in various countries in Asia. In the “Nests” section I changed the phrase “can be very large, up to 400 workers” to “can house up to 400 workers.” For further installations, I would expand on some of the sections that only contain a few sentences. These sections are equally important and quite interesting. You also mentioned the bumblebees' hibernation, which would make an excellent area for further expansion. Cratermann (talk) 12:26, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Article Review
[edit]Your article has great information in all of your sections. No sections feel truly incomplete. However, I believe that you could include some more information regarding mating behavior from the actual mating action (interaction between males and females) to kin selection and male production versus female production. Overall, this article was well-written. I went through each section editing grammar and spelling mistakes (like in the Taxonomy & Phylogeny section you wrote "containdas" rather than "contains"). I also made sure that your verbs and nouns were always cohesive and present as the bees are still doing what you described throughout your article. I was confused by one sentence at the end of your colony section that could use a rephrasing. It was difficult to follow and took me a few reads to understand what you were trying to say. I finished up editing your article by adding a lot more links to other Wikipedia pages--especially for the plant species in the Diet section and the locations in your Distribution and Habitat sections. The unique behavior of nectar robbing was a great way to finish up your article because it is so interesting. Maybe add that into your general overview at the beginning to really hook your readers! mira.tbaum (talk) 12:36, 22 October 2015 (UTC)
Peer Review Comments
[edit]This is a really well done article! The pictures are cool and show the bee nicely. The writing is also very clear, however I did make a few minor edits with some phrasing and word changes. I also unlinked a number of links to pages that don’t exist and added a few links to outside pages.
To bring this article up to ‘good article’ status I think it needs to be a little longer and add a few more sections. The colony section could include more information about making nests, and the behavior section could be improved by information about nest defense, division or labor, or worker-queen conflict. Great job on this article so far however! HBrodke (talk) 18:23, 26 November 2015 (UTC)