Talk:When I Met You (Fantasia song)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Changedforbetter (talk · contribs) 06:45, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Been a while since I reviewed and article; I'll be happy to give this one a go :-). Comments will follow soon; I'm sure this will be an easy one, so I'll go ahead and make any small edits I feel I can make on my own without much discussion.--Changedforbetter (talk) 06:45, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Suggestions

Lead

"Ron Fair produced "When I Met You" in collaboration with its writers ..." – typically, a song is written before it is produced, so it might make more sense for the writers to be mentioned in the lead before Ron Fair, something along the lines of ""When I Met You" was written by Priscilla Hamilton and Ron Feemster, who produced the track with Ron Fair".--Changedforbetter (talk) 06:59, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Makes sense. Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"The song was initially pushed by RCA executives to be released as the second single. Fantasia preferred Sleeping with the One I Love (2016) instead, and convinced her record label after conducting polls during various radio interviews." Try "RCA executives initially wanted to release 'When I Met You' as the second single from The Definition Of..., but Fantasia preferred "Sleeping With the One I Love" and convinced her record label to release the latter instead after conducting ..."; sounds a little more cohesive in my opinion.--Changedforbetter (talk) 07:13, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the suggestion. I have revised it. For some reason, I had a lot of difficulty with wording this part so I greatly appreciate your idea. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

"Critical response to "When I Met You" was positive, with critics praising Fantasia's vocal performance ..." Because of how it's phrased, I suggest "Music critics responded positively towards "When I Met You", praising Fantasia's vocal performance".--Changedforbetter (talk) 07:30, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I went ahead and rearranged the third paragraph in the lead to sort of group the cast information together, and made it more distinguised that Fantasia's crush and childhood friend are not the same person.--Changedforbetter (talk) 07:39, 19 July 2017 (UTC)\[reply]

Thank you! That helped a lot. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I think that's it for the lead; more suggestions will follow over the next day or two.--Changedforbetter (talk) 07:47, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Background and release

"Ron Fair produced "When I Met You" in collaboration with its writers Priscilla Hamilton and Ron Feemster." Similarly here, try ""When I Met You" was written by songwriters Priscilla Hamilton and Ron Feemster, who produced the track with Ron Fair." since songs are usually written before they are produced.--Changedforbetter (talk) 10:40, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Revised. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Placed the release date and radio format at the end of the second paragraph so that the single dispute is mentioned first. Did some copy editing; swapped out some pronouns for the song title and album title.--Changedforbetter (talk) 11:04, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! That makes a lot more sense and helps with the flow a lot. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I'm asking your input for an edit I made to one of the last sentences: ""When I Met You" became the album's third and final single". Since you're more knowledgeable on this subject than I am, do you agree that the single is the album's final (it has been seven months since its release), or are there possibly plans to release more?--Changedforbetter (talk) 11:04, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for the edit. I agree that this is most likely the last single from this album (on a random note, the promotion for this album was very odd and not really that well planned out lol). Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Tackling Composition and lyrics next--Changedforbetter (talk) 11:20, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Composition and lyrics

Overall great job here, made very few changes on my own.--Changedforbetter (talk) 11:20, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you! Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Reception

Good job here, too; I personally felt that most of Matthew Scott Donnelly's comment regarding Fantasia's "sense of self" was more appropriate for the "Composition" section, but feel free to change it back to how it was if you disagree.--Changedforbetter (talk) 11:33, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I completely agree with your edits. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Music video

Few changes and copy-edits made here and there as well; identified Whitney Houston, Aretha Franklin, etc. for readers who might need clarification.--Changedforbetter (talk) 11:51, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Makes sense to me. Thank you for your copy-edits. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I think I'm pretty much done here. Address the changes and suggestions above, and it's a pass for sure.--Changedforbetter (talk) 11:54, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

I believe that I have addressed all of your comments. Thank you for your review and your copy-edits. You have helped to improve the article a great deal. I hope you are having a wonderful day so far. Aoba47 (talk) 14:15, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like we're all set here! I'll add the GA template to the talk page in a bit, but considered the article passed. It was my pleasure, I hope you enjoy the rest of your day as well :-)--Changedforbetter (talk) 14:30, 19 July 2017 (UTC)[reply]