Talk:Wheels (Glee)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: María (habla conmigo) 19:42, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

Hello, I'll be reviewing this article for GA-status. Again, sorry for the delay. Truthfully, Glee is one of my favorite shows, and Wheels is probably my favorite episode to date, so when I saw it in the queue, I couldn't help but snag it. I promise, however, to be a completely impartial reviewer. :)

Here is how it stands against the criteria:

1. Well-written: For the most part; see issues below.
2. Factually accurate and verifiable: Yes.
3. Broad in its coverage: Yes.
4. Neutral: Yes.
5. Stable: Yes.
6. Illustrated, if possible, by images: Yes, although see suggestion below.

• I fixed several dashes per WP:DASH; em dashes are supposed to be unspaced. I may have missed one, though, so be on the lookout.
• Watch the present perfect tense (has called, has noted, etc.). It implies that an action is either still continuing and therefore related to the present, or happened at an indefinite time in the past. Because we know exactly when someone called this the best television episode ever, and it definitely happened in the past, the "has" is incorrect.
• I noticed that several other Glee-episode articles have screencap images in the infoboxes: "Pilot", "The Rhodes Not Taken", etc. Is it possible to have such an image here? The iconic "Proud Mary" scene, perhaps? (This is just a suggestion, BTW, and is not required to reach GA-status.)

Prose

• encourages the other club members to support Artie by holding a bake sale to raise funds, and spending time in wheelchairs to experience what life is like for him. -- This is confusing, as it connects two seemingly separate initiatives. Perhaps connect them with something like: "to support Artie not only by holding a bake sale to raise funds [for a handicap bus?], but also by spending time in wheelchairs..."
• Puck fights with Finn, who he feels is not doing enough to support Quinn. He ensures that the bake sale is a success by including cannabis in the cupcakes, and offers Quinn the money raised. -- Be careful of overusing "he" here, as it's confusing which "he" is being referred to.
• The part (normally performed by females)... -- Seeing as how it's a solo, shouldn't it be "normally performed by a female"?
• Artie and Tina (Jenna Ushkowitz) kiss, but Artie is disappointed when she admits she does not really have a speech impediment, and has been deceiving everyone since the sixth grade. -- This seems to come out of left-field, plotwise; can more context be given?
• whereby his drama teacher refused to let him sing the song because of his sex. -- The lead section says "gender", not sex; since some may think the two terms are synonymous, and some others not, just make sure the usage here is consistent. Sex or gender, not both.
• "Dancing With Myself" is McHale's first solo performance on the show, and was recorded in slow motion. -- Was it? I remember the part in the cafeteria, when he's watching Tina, being in slow motion, but was his performance on the stage shot in slow motion as well? Please clarify.

Other than the above concerns, the article is in great shape. I enjoyed reading it, and once everything has been addressed, I will be more than happy to promote it to GA. Let me know if you have any questions, María (habla conmigo) 19:42, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

Thank you very much for you review, and no worries about the delay! I've found your comments very helpful, both with regard to dashes which always trip me up, and the present perfect tense issue. I suspect it's something that I've unintentionally gotten wrong in other Glee episode articles, so I'll be checking through them all and making amendments in due course :) As for the other prose issues raised:

• That sentence was indeed confusing! I've used your suggested re-wording, thank you.
• You're right - I try to avoid repetition of names so the plot summary doesn't turn into a laundry list of 'Puck does this, then Puck does that', but over-reliance on gender pronouns is just as bad. I've altered it to read: "Puck fights with Finn, who he feels is not doing enough to support Quinn. By including cannabis in the cupcakes, Puck ensures the bake sale is a success and offers Quinn the money raised."
• Quite right! I often get plural confusion with these articles, as I'm never entirely sure whether the glee club should be referred to as a single entity (eg. 'the glee club performs a song' vs. 'the glee club perform a song'), but that's only semi-related to this particular mistake.
• Definitely - given that it's one of the main plotlines in the episode, I'm not sure why I tried to cover it in a single sentence! I've fleshed it out into a paragraph which hopefully gives sufficient context.
• I've changed the lead to 'sex'. I was largely ignorant of the difference between the two terms until recently, and after doing some extensive (albeit unrelated to the article) reading on the subject, I changed 'gender' in the "Production" section to 'sex', without realizing it was also included in the lead.
• The article referenced quotes Kevin McHale as saying: "We had to shoot ["Dancing With Myself"] in slow motion. And I had to be a freak. It was embarrassing. I had to sing to myself in double speed while going through all the extras." - it's not really clear on whether the entire routine was shot in slow motion, so if you think it's too vague, I don't mind taking it out entirely. There was a lot more information available on choreography in general for this episode than most of the others, so the section as a whole isn't hurting for extra details.

Finally, I will try and add in an infobox image. I meant to add one to every Glee episode article at one point, but I struggled to come up with sufficiently strong fair-use rationales for some of them. I think there was enough critical commentary on the "Proud Mary" performance to justify using one of the group publicity stills, though, so I'll crop one to usable size when I next have access to Photoshop. Thank you again for your review - your thoroughness was very helpful and your input is very much appreciated! Frickative 21:26, 22 March 2010 (UTC)

Sounds good so far; just let me know when you're ready for me to take another look. María (habla conmigo) 13:33, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Sorry if my point got lost in the long reply - I've attended to all of the issues highlighted, apart from adding an infobox image (which I may not be able to do for a few days, but as you said, isn't a GA requirement) and altering the slow motion sentence, where I've requested feedback on whether it should be removed entirely based on the ambiguity of the article referenced. Thank you. Frickative 14:57, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

ETA: Okay, I got hold of photo-editing software much sooner than expected, so there's now an infobox image. I went ahead and just removed the slow-motion part. It was only half a sentence, and ultimately probably quite unimportant. So that should be everything dealt with :) Frickative 15:07, 23 March 2010 (UTC)

Doh, sorry; that'll teach me to Wiki before I've had my morning tea. :) All of your changes look great, so I'm happy to promote to GA. Congrats! (And go Glee!) Let me know if you need any help in the future. María (habla conmigo) 15:12, 23 March 2010 (UTC)