Talk:Whatever (Ayumi Hamasaki song)/GA2

GA Review

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 00:23, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Full review coming very soon. Carbrera (talk) 00:23, 29 March 2016 (UTC)

Infobox

• Add 'yes' to the border entry
• Please add an alt as well
• You don't need a flat list for the genre since only one is listed
• Remove any empty ones, such as 'A-side' and 'Chronology'
• The alternative image isn't different enough to warrant a separate inclusion here; please remove the extra image

Lead

Paragraph 1

• "stylized" → "capitalized"
• Add 'the' before 'majority' please
• Is this article written in American English or Traditional English? If American, please notify me imemdaitely

Paragraph 2

• "Critical reception towards "Whatever" has been mixed; while critics" → ""Whatever" received mixed reviews from music critics. They"
• Make a proper transition for the second half of the sentence as well
• You use the song's title a lot, you could also use "the track", "the single", "the song", "the composition", etc....

Paragraph 3

• "Floating with water" → "Floating on water"
• You sum up the video here, but you don't have to. Instead say the essentials, like when it was released, how it was released, etc....

Background

Paragraph 1

• charged → charge
• You don't have to list the other two songs that appear on Loveppears
• and is his → and was his
• Again, you use the song's title a lot, you could also use other words

Paragraph 2

• "It was selected as" → ""Whatever" was selected as"
• The rest looks great!

Composition

• Break up the first sentence into two, smaller sentences to get the point across better
• Please use "Whatever" a little bit less and consider my phrasing from earlier
• You don't have to discuss much about the other tracks because this article is solely about "Whatever"

Reception

• First, remove the extra 'enter' from in between 'Reception' and 'Critical response'

Critical reception

• Remove the extra 'equal signs' around here to make a separate section, then you can remove the 'reception' section above
• had written → wrote
• The beginning statement about the Yahoo! critic enjoying all of the album's songs is unnecessary; please remove
• "thirty positions. The poll was held" → "thirty positions; the poll was held"
• You don't have to list how the other songs appeared at the end of the poll

Commercial performance

Paragraph 1

• Remove the extra 'equal signs' around here to make a separate section, then you can remove the 'reception' section above again
• Remove the mention to "Depend on You" reaching number six on the charts
• Add 'eventually' before 'certified gold by the'...
• The last sentence in this paragraph is a bit confusing

Paragraph 2

• Remove the mention regarding "Depend on You" and "To Be"'s chart positions

Music video

Paragraph 1

• first video for → first video collaboration with
• You don't have to state who directed the music videos for "For My Dear..." and "Depend on You"
• Move this information that starts with "The video opens..." to the next paragraph
• Add a section with (3) equal signs called 'synopsis'

Paragraph 3

• Please add this section to the end of the first paragraph

J Version music video

• What does 'J' version and 'M' version mean?
• This information looks better suited elsewhere

Live performances and other appearances

Paragraph 1

• Change section title to 'Live performances and remixes'
• Add a topic/lead/intro sentence to this paragraph
• Could you discuss what she does during the performances? a.k.a How she performs the song?

Paragraph 2

• This section looks pretty good!

Track listing

• Make this section's title plural
• Remove the link to 'Mini CD'

Credits and personnel

• Remove the extra 's' in "the singles's"
• Remove the period at the end of the statement since it is not a sentence and therefore doesn't need a complete stop

Charts and certifications

• You only need to list peak positions here, Wikipedia is not a list; thanks

Release history

• Remove extra links to 'Avex Trax' in this section please

Notes

• Also looks good!

References

• [2] - Remove the link to 'Avex Trax'
• [18] - Remove the link to 'Oricon'
• [35] - Remove the link to 'Avex Trax'
• [58] - Remove the link to 'iTunes Store'
• [59] - Remove the link to 'iTunes Store'
• [60] - Add the link to 'Recording Industry Association of Japan'
• [61] - Remove the link to 'Recording Industry Association of Japan'
• [62] - Remove the link to 'Recording Industry Association of Japan'
• [63] - Remove the link to 'iTunes Store'
• [64] - Remove the link to 'iTunes Store'

End of GA Review:

A pretty good article, but needs a bit of work. This article sometimes references the success of other singles, which is not necessary since this article is not about those other singles. I'm going to put this article on hold for now. Carbrera (talk) 22:54, 30 March 2016 (UTC)

Hi @Carbrera:; I have finished all the comments you listed above. My apologies for this article; this was another article I had kinda abandoned after I edited it, so it is kinda rough. I made some big changes, alongside changing the lead summary section and merged background and composition. Regarding you comment on What does 'J' version and 'M' version mean?, its just a label of two different arrangements of the single. Other than that, you may read over it again if you like. All good if not, hope this helps :) CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 02:34, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

@CaliforniaDreamsFan: I am very impressed with the amount of work you put into this article, especially just the past couple of hours. It's a pleasure working with you, let me know if you would like me to review any more songs! I would love to help you out! Happy contributing! Carbrera (talk) 02:43, 31 March 2016 (UTC)

@Carbrera: Thank you very much :) Don't worry, I do have a life outside of Wikipedia haha! I just basically change and improve as fast as I can in order to achieve a good status for my favourite things (songs, albums, etc.) And thank you for the recommendation, I will definately keep in touch :) Cheers. CaliforniaDreamsFan (talk · contribs} 08:31, 31 March 2016 (UTC)