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Talk:What Have You Done for Me Lately/GA1

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GA Review

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Reviewer: SNUGGUMS (talk · contribs) 03:55, 7 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Overview

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Prose: See below

Sourcing: See below

Coverage: See below

Neutrality: See below

Stability: No issues

GA Result: Failed. Sorry, but this needs more work on prose and references. Some expanding would also be beneficial.

Details

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Infobox
Lead
  • "It was written by Jackson, along with new collaborators Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis, who also produced the track"..... kinda lengthy, let's try "Jackson co-wrote the song with its producers Jimmy Jam and Terry Lewis".
  • "Known as a television actress, Jackson was initially reluctant to begin a recording career, as she did not want to pursue a career in the entertainment industry"..... something's wrong here, as she already was part of the entertainment industry by acting
  • "It deals with a struggling relationship because the man was not doing enough to please his girlfriend anymore"..... doesn't read very well, try "It revolves around a woman's frustration with her partner in a relationship"
  • "The song was also a success commercially, peaking at number four on the Billboard Hot 100 and certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA), and reached the top ten in several regions such as Germany, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom, and number one in Netherlands"..... quite a mouthful, try "The song peaked at number four on the Billboard Hot 100 and was certified gold by the Recording Industry Association of America (RIAA). It also reached number one in the Netherlands and the top ten in the Germany, Switzerland, and the United Kingdom."
  • Remove "In" from "In the accompanying music video"
  • "and is also widely regarded as one of the singer's breakthrough singles which helped establish her as a global superstar"..... I'm not sure how I feel about this, and the "global superstar" seems a bit POV
Background
  • "produced by her brothers Marlon and Michael, and Jesse Johnson"..... some readers might interpret this as Jesse Johnson being one of her brothers, so let's go with "produced by Jesse Johnson and Janet's brothers Marlon and Michael"
  • I'm not sure we need the "Best known as a television actress" bit
  • "she was initially reluctant to begin a recording career. She said"..... let's change this to "Jackson was initially reluctant to begin a recording career, commenting"
Development and theme
  • "he could keep an eye out for her"..... on her
  • "Jackson done the recording of the whole album"..... recorded the whole album
  • "made crude advances towards her"..... "crude" could mean multiple different things, so try giving a more specific term here
Composition
  • "Lyrically it deals about" → "Lyrically, it involves"
  • "He was not honoring her the way he used to honor her" → "He was not treating her as well as he used to"
Critical reception
  • Maybe add some more reviews?
  • Who is the Spin reviewer?
Chart performance
  • "'What Have You Done for Me Lately' also achieved international success"..... don't think this needed, scrap it
Music video
  • Some critics' opinions on the video would be nice
  • "Jackson goes to a funky diner"..... "funky" here is POV
  • "give him a piece of her mind"..... doesn't seem very encyclopedic
Credits and personnel
  • Just title this section "Personnel"
  • Rather than "Source", try something like "credits from album booklet"
References
  • Very inconsistent. Some have publishers and others don't. For the sake of consistency, include either all publishers or none. If including them, I will list them here:
  • Other notes:
  • I'm skeptical about Toronto Sun
  • "Gale (Cengage)" should link to Gale (publisher)
  • ref#20 (Rolling Stone) is dead
  • ref#35 (chartstats) is not displaying any chart info
  • ref#36 (BPI) is dead
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