Talk:Watford F.C./GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:40, 8 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Hi - I'll make copyedits as I go (please revert if I inadvertently change the meaning) and jot queries below: Casliber (talk · contribs) 10:40, 8 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~Watford Football Club is an English professional football club based in Watford, Hertfordshire.~~ ~~- two "clubs" in the one sentence....can we change the second to "team"?~~

In most cases it's okay to treat the two words as synonyms. But in a sentence which is explicitly talking about the overall organisation, I'm not sure that team would work. —WFC— 16:36, 8 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Agree is a tricky one, and accuracy trumps prose in this case it sounds like. Casliber (talk · contribs) 21:27, 8 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~alternate names and nicknames are usually in bold not italics in the lead (definitely italics in the body of the article though)~~

taking the team from the renamed Second Division to the Premier League in successive seasons - I'd specify somehow that this was up two tiers...

In the history section, "the town of Watford" is mentioned (and linked) twice in a few sentences. These should be streamlined into one mention. The second sentence of the para can be amalgamated with the grounds mention later. Incidentally this strikes me as a somewhat tangential reference source. I can help with rejigging the order if you like. better

~~First sentence of the history section could do with a ref.~~

I've attempted to address all of these points, through editing or a response as appropriate. Thanks for what you've done so far – I look forward to the rest of the review. —WFC— 16:36, 8 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

General supportive note - the History section flows nicely. I find using the term "tier" is good as we can talk about first/second/third etc. with some consistency across all the silly renames from 1992 onwards (aargh!!).

I appreciate that. The history was certainly the most challenging part. —WFC— 13:12, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

With a record of 4 wins from his opening 23 league fixtures, Bassett was sacked in January 1988. - "record" often has a positive connotation - I'd rephrase as " After/with only 4 wins from the opening 23 league fixtures, Bassett was sacked in January 1988."

I've changed it to "With 4 wins". I'm wary of using "only" because it might come through as POV – if you compare Bassett's record with his predecessor you can probably guess his relative popularity among Watford fans. —WFC— 13:12, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~The club's highest home attendance is 34,099, for an FA Cup match against Manchester United on 3 February 1969~~ ~~- I'd add in the round it was.~~

Done. —WFC— 13:12, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

~~anything to add about the fans? Fan songs? Mascot? Any other rivalries - i.e. with Barnet if they're both from Hertfordshire...?~~

I've had a go. As for rivalries, there have been what I would describe as brief, non-violent tensions with other clubs (none of which were from Hertfordshire), but nothing that has lasted for particularly long, and certainly nothing that could be reliably sourced as a rivalry. I will keep an eye on the section though, because if Stevenage F.C. get promoted I think the media would start describing matches between the two clubs as a "derby" quite quickly. —WFC— 13:12, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Yeah, that's the sort of thing I mean. Casliber (talk · contribs) 13:23, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

Other than that, looking pretty good. Casliber (talk · contribs) 00:33, 9 May 2012 (UTC)[reply]

1. Well written?:

Prose quality: