Talk:Wanita dan Satria/GA1

GA Review

Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch

Reviewer: Dr. Blofeld (talk · contribs) 15:20, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

Lead

• The "should not be missed" mention in the intro actually comes across to me as an advert for the film. " I think if you mention that one reviewer stated that the film gives a clear picture of the precarious position of Indonesian women it would be more encyclopedic.
  • That was my first opinion as well, but that's a hard quote to split. Paraphrased anyways. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:38, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

Plot

• "Soedrajat manipulates his good standing in order to womanise " -a little awkward (and manipulates is repeated below anyway), abuses his social status in order to womanise or something similar would seem to fit better.

• Agree. Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:38, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

• Manipulates is used three times, can you use something else?

• Removed two instances. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:38, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

• "Meanwhile, Soelarsa – whilst driving a truck through Koestijah's village – saves her life; the two fall in love at first sight." Awkward phrasing, "Meanwhile, Soelarsa saves Koestijah's life whilst driving a truck through her village; the two fall in love at first sight" or something would be better.

• Sure, done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:38, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

• "With her dying breath, Tarmini makes one last confession." -which is?

• Based on my understanding of the summaries, similar to the first. They don't go into that much detail, and none of my more modern sources have any information on the plot. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:38, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

Production

• The black-and-white starred - add film after the word white.

• Oh, that's a facepalm moment right there. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:38, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

• "having entered film in 1938 with Fatima by Tan's Film and been with Union since 1940" - I think "; he had entered film with Fatima by Tan's Film in 1938 and had been with Union since 1940." would be better.

• How's this? — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:40, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

• Inconsistency with whilst in plot and while in production - I believe Master Tim and myself agree on while.

• Done. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:39, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

Legacy

Not sure this is an appropriate section title. I mean, it doesn't have much of a legacy except being lost! I'm not sure what would be suitable in its place though, I guess it's fine, you know what I mean though right?

• It's been used before (FAs including Sorga Ka Toedjoe, for instance). I'm likewise at a loss for what could be fit in here. — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:50, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

I doubt anybody will worry about it...♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:54, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

References

• Remind me again why websites like filmindonesia.or.id are italicized? I've never italicized websites unless they're newspapers or magazines. But I see somebody else has done what you've done at a recent FAC.
  • Because it's in the work parameter, essentially. A lot of the citation styles I see also italicise websites:

♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:20, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

1. Is it reasonably well written?

   A. Prose quality:

   B. MoS compliance:

2. Is it factually accurate and verifiable?

   A. References to sources:

   B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

   C. No original research:

3. Is it broad in its coverage?

   A. Major aspects:

   B. Focused:

4. Is it neutral?

   Fair representation without bias:

5. Is it stable?

   No edit wars, etc:

6. Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?

   A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

   B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:

7. Overall:

   Pass or Fail:

Thanks for addressing the points so quickly. Just looking in google books and finding zilch, I'm already impressed with how much you found on a lost Indonesian movie from 1941.♦ Dr. Blofeld 15:56, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

• Thanks. I particularly liked rescuing the plot summary (as I said before, nothing I have has a plot summary of this film... shame I don't have access to this novelisation). — Crisco 1492 (talk) 15:57, 21 August 2013 (UTC)

Just an afterthought, if there is an article on Muslim women in Indonesia, or Islam or women Indonesia you could link "women's issues in a Muslim society" to it, only if relevant though of course.♦ Dr. Blofeld 16:01, 21 August 2013 (UTC)