Talk:Walter Loving/GA2

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 05:27, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I would like to review this. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 05:27, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Does the lead cover all aspects of the article? I guess it could be expanded a bit more.

Not done as per WP:LEADLENGTH. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

1909 U.S. presidential inaugural parade Should "presidential" have "p" in caps? Just an idea.

No; only when preceding personal or state names. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

escort to President of the United States "to the then President of the United States"?

This would change the meaning of the paranthetical "the first time a band other than" to indicate it was the first time it had happened to Taft, instead of to the office of President. I've obliviated the name Taft, however. LavaBaron (talk) 16:16, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

the first time a band other than the U.S. Marine Band had been assigned that duty. Could be separated into another sentence to reduce the length

Did you miss this? Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:52, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 17:02, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Link World War I, San Francisco Bay, Philippines

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Can you add the year(s) when the Battle of Manila took place?

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Early life

an extended family of fourteen relatives. At age 10 According to the MoS, we should write numbers less than ~~or equal to~~ 10 in words and the rest in digits.

Please recheck MOS:NUMERAL. Zero to nine should be in words, true. Ten can be either: digits or numbers are allowed for any number 10 or more that can be written in one or two words, and digits only if more than two words are required. There are also other parts to the rule, which may be exceptions to the general rule. BlueMoonset (talk) 05:40, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Oh, I recall. Alright, that depends on the nominator's preference, I merely give my opinions. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 06:09, 6 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Can Minnesota be linked?

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

the future U.S. president Link "U.S. President" here (P in caps)

Done. on capitalization. Can't link; term already linked previously as per WP:BUILD. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

It is known he attended elementary school known "that"?

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Career

Has "Philippines" be linked anywhere in the main text?

Yes. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

while the Pacific Coast Musical Review, meanwhile, opined that Why "meanwhile"?

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

inaugurated as president of the United States. P in caps. President of USA is linked in the next line; remove the link as it should go to the earlier section

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Please check that President has p in caps everywhere. That's the way I have seen it in many other articles

Done where "president" precedes a personal or state name. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

In "Military Intelligence Division", "US Army" is a duplink

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Are African American and Negro linked anywhere? There is no problem in repeating link from the lead

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Source for the 2nd para and quote in "Military Intelligence Division"?

? LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I mean do we not have any inline citations to support the part Later, Loving would be tasked with touring...pertaining to non-commissioned officers, noting that, and the quote following it? Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:51, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks! Not sure what happened there - added refs back in. LavaBaron (talk) 17:00, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Can "caucasian" be linked? Should its "c" be in caps?

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Death

Is it possible to add a word or two about the source(s) of these theories?

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

to die "and died"?

? LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

The wording "to die" seemed a bit weird to me, but it is your choice. "and died" is simply a minor reword I suggest. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:51, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

the government of the Philippines Could be linked. Should "g" be in caps?

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Link Luneta

Previously linked. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

Is it proper to place this section at the end? No problem if this is the recommended order.

Yes. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Can we know when the son was born?

No RS. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

both Republican and Democratic candidates Links?

Done. LavaBaron (talk) 16:15, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Sainsf I've made these edits, see notes above. Let me know if I missed anything. LavaBaron (talk) 16:17, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks LavaBaron. I have responded where you have raised "?" I am satisfied with the other replies and amendments you have made. And I guess you missed one point in the Lead comments. Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 16:53, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for your patience, Sainsf - I've made these three corrections. LavaBaron (talk) 17:02, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]

@LavaBaron: Thanks to you for your lightning response :) The article does not seem to have any issues now. No copyvio, no unsourced claims. Checked against other criteria as well. I am glad to promote this. Great work! Sainsf <^>_{Talk all words} 17:09, 15 March 2016 (UTC)[reply]