Talk:Wally Schirra/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hawkeye7 (talk · contribs) 22:58, 19 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it well written?
A. The prose is clear and concise, and the spelling and grammar are correct:
Some issues, see below

B. It complies with the manual of style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation:
Is it verifiable with no original research?
A. It contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline:
Some issues, see below

B. All in-line citations are from reliable sources, including those for direct quotations, statistics, published opinion, counter-intuitive or controversial statements that are challenged or likely to be challenged, and contentious material relating to living persons—science-based articles should follow the scientific citation guidelines:

C. It contains no original research:

D. It contains no copyright violations nor plagiarism:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. It addresses the main aspects of the topic:
Some issues, see below

B. It stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style):
Is it neutral?
It represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each:
Is it stable?
It does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute:
Is it illustrated, if possible, by images?
A. Images are tagged with their copyright status, and valid fair use rationales are provided for non-free content:

B. Images are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Issues

General

Duplicate links; Alan Shepard Done, Deke Slayton Done, Gus Grissom Done, NASA Done, Mercury Seven Done, American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics Done, Oradell, New Jersey Done. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:51, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I don't like the abbreviated ranks, as these are nation- and service-specific. Replace CAPT and Cmdr with their full forms. Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:41, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I support replacing the infobox article image. Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:51, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Does his death really warrant a paragraph in the lead? It's nothing he is notable for Done Removed. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:59, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
There's no alt text on the air medal, which is needed because the medals are shown with no indication of that they are. Personally, I would prefer the infobox had the names of the awards instead of their images
Done I had left up the medals from previous editors, but I like your feedback of changing it to the names (even with 2 Air Medals myself, I had a hard time recognizing what it was from the small PNG image). Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:41, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Early life and education

Mention his sister.
Reading through "Schirra's Space," as well as his official NASA biography and obituary, I am not reading anything about a sister. I'd be happy to include it, but I am not seeing any information about her. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:59, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Georgia Lou. See Burgess, Sigma 7 (2016), p. 7. She married a Naval officer, John Durham. [1]
"Following the attack on Pearl Harbor" When was this?
Done I added "in December, 1941" Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:59, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"only 3 years" should be "only three years". And how long is it usually? Done It's usually 4 (which I added in to the article). Balon Greyjoy (talk) 13:59, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Military service

Wally's surname is misspelt Done Someone else fixed my typo. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
What sort of ship was the USS Estes? Done Amphibious command ship. I've added it in. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Unlink China Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Link "wings" to Naval aviator insignia Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"USS Midway" -> "aircraft carrier USS Midway" Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"at the outbreak of the Korean War" When was this? Done I added the date to the article. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"in the 8 month deployment" -> "eight-month deployment" Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Schirra flew 90 combat missions and downed two MiG-15s." Is this how he earned the Distinguished Flying Cross? (And the Air Medals?) The article doesn't say.
Down in the Awards section it lists the Distinguished Flying Cross as the award for his escort of B-29 bombers during the war, as well as his subsequent spaceflights. The US Air Medal is awarded for the completion of 20 air combat missions. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"USS Lexington" -> "USS Lexington" (use the USS template) Done Added the template. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

NASA career

pp. 46, 57–77 Come on. That's over twenty pages.
Done I broke that up into several citations to be more specific to the pages from where I drew information for a given sentence. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:05, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Along with Scott Carpenter, Schirra flew in an F-106 Delta Dart chase plane" I think you'll find that they flew in two separate chase planes. Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"abackup" should be "a backup" Done Someone else fixed this typo. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Italicize "Sigma 7" Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I feel that the article fails to mention Schirra's re-orientation of Sigma 7 to engineering experiments, partly as a reaction against carpenter's flight, but also in Schirra's nature, as highlighted by the later
Done I added in a sentence about the return to manual operations after navigation issues for Carpenter. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:05, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"At the beginning of the Gemini program, Alan Shepard was originally" Tautology here, with "at the beginning" and "originally". Remove one. Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:48, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"7:15 AM" -> "7:30 am" per MOS:TIME Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:48, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"USS Kearsage" -> "USS Kearsage" (use the USS template) Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Schirra activated the explosive hatch to egress the aircraft" He got a large bruise, proving that Gus Grissom had not activated in on Mercury 4, and was therefore not to blame for the subsequent loss of Liberty Bell 7.
Done I this in. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"90°F" Use the conversion template to transform into Celsius, as Fahrenheit is obsolete.
Done I replaced the text itself instead of using the conversion template. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"4 miles" Use the conversion template to transform into km. (Was it land miles or nautical miles?)
Done I replaced the text itself instead of using the conversion template. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

The measurement given by Schirra in his book is 'four and a half miles.' I can't find any source that specifies the type of miles, but my assumption is nautical miles, as he is at sea and the measurement was likely given to him by the navigators on board the ship. The converted units I edited were for nautical miles. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
While I am all in support of using metric everywhere (as an American, I don't understand why the change to metric wasn't decades ago), is using metric now the standard for Wikipedia? If so, I was unaware of it, and will be sure to use metric in future edits. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:39, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
The standard is to use the convert template everywhere. The advantage of this shows up in cases like the above. It gets you thinking about what kind of miles, tons or pints you are talking about. Some measurements like electric current or the weight of fissile materials have no imperial equivalent, so no conversion is required. It's still okay to use stones for weight and chains for distance, per the original source, though. Some editors like to see the article consistently put metric first (which the convert template can facilitate), but this is not required by the MOS, and GA articles do not have to comply with the whole MOS. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:22, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"to command Gemini 3 with Tom Stafford" -> "to command Gemini 3 with Tom Stafford as pilot" Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:48, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"The mission was again delayed, until Gemini 6A lifted off on December 15." Yes, but not as long as it would have been delayed if Schirra had hit the ejection button. Your article makes it sound like he made the wrong call, when in fact his decision was the correct one.
Done I mentioned the likely injuries the crew would have suffered for ejecting, and merged the next two sentences. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 14:48, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Apollo 7. Schirra had never flown a mission this long before, and was cranky. While the article mentions that he later received a NASA Distinguished Service Medal posthumously (in 2008), the fact was that the Apollo 7 crew was the only one not to receive the medal after their flight. Neither Eisele nor Cunningham ever flew again.
@Hawkeye7: I'm confused by this comment; are you looking for me to add information about how the crew did not receive the standard medals, nor fly again? I know about the circumstances of the Apollo 7/Mission Control divide, but sources on both sides (Schirra, Gene Kranz, Chris Kraft) voice differing opinions on whether the crew was snubbed or appropriately reprimanded. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
I was concerned that the article might be seen by other editors as sweeping this under the rug. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:22, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
"Schirra's last assignment as an astronaut was to conduct the investigation into Neil Armstrong's Lunar Landing Research Vehicle crash" Any findings?
Done I added the investigation results Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Personal life

"Walter M. Schirra III" Who was goaled for possession of child pornography. (You can leave this out.)
Yep, I'll leave that one out. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]
Merge the second and third paragraphs, and the last four paragraphs.
Done Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:15, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Placing review on hold. Hawkeye7 (discuss) 23:11, 19 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

@Hawkeye7: I have completed making your recommended edits (other than the few clarifications I asked for above). Thanks for reviewing my article, and looking forward to making any further suggested changes. Balon Greyjoy (talk) 15:17, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, that is fine. (I have made some minor changes.) Passing now. The article meets GA standards, but if you want to go to FAC, it will require more work. If you want to pursue that path, I suggest nominating at A-class on MilHist first. In the meantime, now that it is a Good Article, why not nominate it for DYK? Hawkeye7 (discuss) 21:22, 20 May 2018 (UTC)[reply]