Talk:Walking on Air (Katy Perry song)/GA1
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[edit]The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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Reviewer: WikiRedactor (talk · contribs) 22:57, 9 January 2014 (UTC)
- General
- I saw a couple instances of alternating date formats; I would like to see them all written in Month Day, Year format.
- Changed all.
- Also, can you make sure all of the references have access dates in them, because I see a few that don't.
- I think I've added an access date to all of the references.
- Introduction
- "Inspired by CeCe Peniston and Crystal Waters, Walking on Air' is styled in deep house and incorporates influences from 90s Eurodance." You're missing a quotation mark at the beginning of "Walking on Air".
- "Upon its release, the song garnered positive commentary from music critics, who highlighted the song's catchiness, while some were divided relatively to its musical composition." I suggest rewriting this as "Upon its release, "Walking on Air" received generally favorable reviews from music critics, who highlighted its catchiness, but were ambivalent towards its musical composition."
- "Due to moderate digital downloads, the single entered various charts: it sold 150,000 copies in the United States, and has peaked at number 34 on the US Billboard Hot 100 while internationally, it reached the top 20 of various countries, including Australia, Canada, Ireland, Italy, New Zealand and Spain." I suggest rewriting this as "The track entered several charts with moderate digital downloads, including reaching number 34 on the U.S. Billboard Hot 100. Internationally, it charted in the top 20 in various countries, including Australia, Canada, and New Zealand." (I purposely trimmed some of the countries in the original sentence so it doesn't run the risk of being a run-on sentence.)
- "To promote it, Perry performed 'Walking on Air' at several occasions, including the 2013 iTunes Festival and Saturday Night Live." I suggest rewriting this as "Perry promoted 'Walking on Air' with several live performances, including at the 2013 iTunes Festival and Saturday Night Live."
- Background and release
- "The latter task" It would probably be best to just say that the engineering was handled by X, Y, and Z; I think that the "latter task" wording is a little oddly worded.
- "On 20 August 2013 using a press release format" You can say "In a press release on August 20, 2013"
- The "Dark Horse" reference doesn't say that the song was the winner.
- Composition
- On one of the Idolator citations you give, I see that they give an image of what appears to be a single cover. Is this official? If so, this would be good to add to the article.
- Not done, as the cover is fake. The song was released under Prism on the iTunes Store.
- Very well, thanks for letting me know!
- Not done, as the cover is fake. The song was released under Prism on the iTunes Store.
- Critical reception
- At the end of the first paragraph, there is no web link given for your USA Today citation. Can you please find one?
- Can you replace the word "basically" with "mixed", and end that sentence with a period?
- Can you move the paragraph talking about the mixed reception to the end of the section? I think that the positive reviews, since they are the majority, should be the first two paragraphs, while the less popular opinions should come afterwards.
- It's already done.
- Commercial performance
- I see that there are several more chart positions given in the table below than are mentioned in the prose. Can you add the rest of them to this section?
- Not needed, as the information would be redundant and unnecessary as there is not any further information except for the chart positions.
- Why wasn't the song eligible to chart on the ARIA Singles Chart? Is there a specific reason we can mention?
- I'm not sure, plus I was not responsible for this part of the section, so I'm kind of confused by that sentence.
- I see that it was removed, so that's alright now.
- I'm not sure, plus I was not responsible for this part of the section, so I'm kind of confused by that sentence.
- "week-ending" doesn't need to be hyphenated.
- Live performances
- "Relatively to the performance" This can be removed.
- There is also no web link for the ABC News reference.
- You can mention that "Firework" is from Teenage Dream.
- Charts
- The ARIA website doesn't go to the specific chart for the week "Walking on Air" charted, can you please provide us with one?
- The OCC link also doesn't go past the top 40 for that week. Can you find a link that does?
- Sorry, what chart?
- @Prism: In the United Kingdom
- Sorry, what chart?
- Make sure that you update these references in the "Commercial performance" section when you do.
- Credits and personnel
- Can you mention that the credits were adapted from the Prism liner notes?
- References
- Can you set up the references to be three columns instead of two?
Nothing major to address here, I'll check in when the corrections are made. WikiRedactor (talk) 23:34, 9 January 2014 (UTC)
- @Prism: After you find a link that verifies the United Kingdom chart, we'll be good to go! WikiRedactor (talk) 18:49, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
- All done! prism △ 21:17, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
- Passing, good work! WikiRedactor (talk) 18:53, 12 January 2014 (UTC)
- All done! prism △ 21:17, 11 January 2014 (UTC)
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.