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Talk:Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)/GA1

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GA Review

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The following discussion is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.

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Reviewer: HĐ (talk · contribs) 11:56, 17 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]


Hi, this is one of my favorite World Cup songs . I'll take this review

Thanks a lot! --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 09:41, 19 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Lead
  • "...of the 2010 FIFA World Cup which was..." --> comma
  • Infobox says "pop", but I can't see it in the lead
  • "favourable" --> Uhm, this page is written in American or British English?
British --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 09:41, 19 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Okay
  • "became a global success" is redundant here, because you mention the chart positions of the song
  • "...had sold" --> present perfect
You mean I change it to "has sold"? But May 2014 is a past date and changing the sentence to "By May 2014, "Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)" has sold nearly ten million units worldwide, becoming one of the best-selling singles of all time." does not sound correct. --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 09:41, 19 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
But the past perfect is not used in this case
Okay so what do you think I should make it? --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 14:39, 19 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Per other GAs/FAs it should be the present perfect ("has sold")
Has sold it is then :)
  • "...Christiano Ronaldo" --> Typo
  • "...extremely popular" --> For me this sounds quite biased, only "very" is enough
  • "... the singer" --> Sounds not encyclopedic
Background
  • Link She Wolf
  • "...when Hill approached them requesting them for input regarding the song" --> I don't understand this sentence clearly
I have made some changes --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 09:41, 19 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
Good
  • ", and also appear on Listen Up! The Official 2010 FIFA World Cup Album" --> appeared
Sudden tense change from present to past? This would make the entire sentence "On 26 April, the Fédération Internationale de Football Association (FIFA) announced that "Waka Waka (This Time for Africa)" would serve as the official song of the 2010 FIFA World Cup, which was to begin in South Africa later in June, and also appeared on Listen Up! The Official 2010 FIFA World Cup Album. Doesn't sound right. I have changed it to "and would also appear"
Uh oh, my bad And the revamped sentence is fine
  • ...at the closing ceremony of the cup, that..." --> which
  • "...and made" --> and was made
  • "iTunes Store" --> only one iTunes Store in one country or numerous iTunes Stores?
The iTunes release date is consistent across numerous countries. I checked for Australia, Britain, Spain and the States.
  • "Waka Waka (Esto es Africa)" --> The lead says "África"?
Ugh forgot to add that accent.
That's okay
Haha thanks
  • "...were also included in the track list of the singer's ninth studio album" --> "the album" only, not to mention the "track list"
  • "...which was released the same year in October" --> in October the same year read better
Addressed all till now --WonderBoy1998 (talk) 09:41, 19 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]

More to come.

I have responded More to come here
Composition

Well written

Thanks!
Controversy
  • Mostly good, but please add the year (2010) after "10 June". And the quote of Freshlyground's singer is quite short, so I think that having <blockquote> is quite necessary. Perhaps including them in a quote box instead?
I just made it a part of the normal sentence, cause I thought two quotes from Freshlyground would seem odd. I hope that's fine with you
Looks good now
Critical

No issues

Europe
  • "huge success" for me seems quite bias
I have changed it to "success," although I thought its crazy chart performance would validate it but yes you're right
  • "...received a double-platinum certification from the International Federation of the Phonographic Industry (IFPI)," --> IFPI Austria, right? Also, "by", not "from"
  • The same thing with the Denmark certification, should be "IFPI Denmark"
  • "The song peaked at number one on the German Singles Chart for six weeks[39] and became the second-highest selling single in the country in 2010" --> "second-highest" is untrue
Untrue? It was the second-highest selling single in Germany (http://www.officialcharts.de/year.asp?cat=s&country=de&year=2010&x=36&y=16)
No, I mean that you should remove the "-" between second and highest
Ohhhhh done
Asia/Americas
  • "successive weeks" --> sounds kinda weird
Successive weeks is another form of consecutive weeks. I used it to add some variety, otherwise repeatedly using consecutive would make it monotonous. I can assure you successive weeks is a widely used term :)
  • "As of March 2014, it is Shakira's third-highest selling..." --> sounds odd to me, too
Made some changes
Music video
  • Do we have any files for the video?
I'll add one
  • "The Guardian Viral Video Chart"?
It is/was this video chart compiled by The Guardian which publishes the most viewed youtube videos for a week or a particular time figure.
  • Lead: "eighth most watching", but I can't see it in this section
It has been included in the Legacy section
Good
Legacy
No it's a worldwide figure because ten million in the US is highly unreasonable. Also consider the fact that in March 2014 Soundscan claimed that it had sold 1.76 million downloads in the US, so I don't think it can reach ten million by May 2014
  • " It has been proclaimed as one of the best FIFA World Cup songs of all time" --> Listed publications that proclaim this
  • Does the information about Shakira and Pique relationship need to be mentioned here?
Hmm I think it's important since it impacted Shakira's history and career, although I might have presented it in a trivial manner. I have made some flips
Charts
Source reviews
  • Replace the normal dash by the n-dash (–)
  • Ref #86: iTunes Store is not italicized
  • Ref #45 --> #49: the chart providers are not italicized
  • Ref #19, #21, #26 --> #29, #38 --> #43: you can clearly see the problem/ Simon (talk) 13:10, 20 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
After I returned to Wikipedia after a hiatus I noticed the work parameter had been replaced by website, so I accordingly put the website names in that column. Unfortunately it has italicised them all. Never mind I have made amendments.@HĐ: Addressed all.--WonderBoy1998 (talk) 18:28, 20 June 2014 (UTC)[reply]
The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.
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