Talk:W. Webber Kelly/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Sportsfan77777 (talk · contribs) 05:12, 8 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

And this one. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:12, 8 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Same comment: I would just link "Green Bay Football Corporation" to "Green Bay Packers, Inc." and get rid of what is in the parentheses.
Also same comment: I don't think Board of Directors should be capitalized, and it should be "Packers' board of directors".

Early life

Patrick Kelly was a member of the British Army ===>>> His father was a member of the British Army.
He completed some post-graduate work in Vienna, Austria before moving to America in 1903. ===>>> He completed some post-graduate work in Vienna, Austria before moving to America in 1903. He took a post-graduate job in Vienna, Austria in surgery and medicine before moving to America later that year.

Can you clarify this one? Did you accidentally repeat the original sentence? I also don't like the second sentence as the source uses "work", not "job". Job implies actual pay, whereas post-grad work usually entails some blurring of lines of a job versus an internship. Since the source isn't clear, I prefer to stick with "work". « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:49, 8 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Okay, that's fair. I don't think the source is using the right terminology, but that's on them. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 04:31, 9 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Medical career

In 1914 he was admitted to the American College of Surgeons and completed more post-graduate work in surgery and medicine in London, England. ===>>> In 1914, he was admitted to the American College of Surgeons following more post-graduate work in London, England.

Green Bay Packers

the Packers would have still had to pay the Duluth team ===>>> the Packers would have still needed to pay the Duluth team
Board of Directors capitalized
In 1929, he was elected (add comma)
Kelly resigned as president ===>>> After the season ended, Kelly resigned as president
then replacing Kelly as team physician ===>>> then removing Kelly as team physician (OR add who he replaced him with)

Personal life

Good.

Overall

No dab links.
All of the links work.
No bare refs.
Image seems fine.

Solid overall. Placing on hold. Sportsfan77777 (talk) 05:53, 8 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for another review Sportsfan77777! Everything done except the one noted above. « Gonzo fan2007 (talk) @ 19:49, 8 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Passed! Sportsfan77777 (talk) 04:32, 9 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]