Talk:Wär Gott nicht mit uns diese Zeit, BWV 14/GA2
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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 19:24, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
I'll check this over soon. JAGUAR 19:24, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- "focusing on the thought that our life depends on God's help and is lost without it" - focusing, and I can't help but feel that 'our life' sounds too informal and personal somehow. Do you think it should be replaced with something like 'humankind'?
- I think "humankind" is too many ;) - how about something like "believers'" or "believer's"? Other suggestions welcome. --GA
- "Bach seems to have desired to fill this void and complete his cycle of chorale cantatas" - wrong tense. Probably best to remove this
- We need that he filled some of the voids later, but not all, and over a long time. What do you suggest? --GA
- "For the Bach scholar Christoph Wolff it is evident that Bach" - how about Bach scholar Christoph Wolff found it evident that Bach
- taken --GA
- "The theme of the chorale is connected to the gospel in a general way: our life depends on God's help and is lost without it" - again, I feel that 'our life' feels a bit wrong here and could be generalised to something like "humankind". If you disagree I wouldn't mind keeping it, but it seems a bit personal for encyclopedic language
- as above: how about "believer"? --GA
- "the text of the first and the last stanza" - the second 'the' is redundant
- changed to "the outer stanzas" --GA
- "while an unknown librettist paraphrased the inner stanzas" - I've never heard of this word before. Can it be linked to Libretto?
- done --GA
Good work. Could find very little wrong with this one! I'll place this on hold until the minor issues are clarified. JAGUAR 19:42, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- Thank you. Tell me if "believer" would be an acceptable term? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:04, 27 December 2017 (UTC)
- Thanks Gerda. "Believers" sounds more accurate, and I think keeping the "seems to have" part will suffice. I don't have any more concerns so I'll be happy to promote this, seeing as it's a nice and compact article. Well done! JAGUAR 00:00, 28 December 2017 (UTC)
- Thank you. Tell me if "believer" would be an acceptable term? --Gerda Arendt (talk) 20:04, 27 December 2017 (UTC)