Talk:Voices of a Distant Star/GA1
Appearance
GA Review
[edit]GA toolbox |
---|
Reviewing |
Article (edit | visual edit | history) · Article talk (edit | history) · Watch
Reviewer: ChrisGualtieri (talk · contribs) 14:18, 6 January 2014 (UTC) I'll take this. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 14:18, 6 January 2014 (UTC)
- I forgot to post up this review! I'll have it up tomorrow for sure. Sorry about the delay, this was actually very well done, so there were only a few issues to fix. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 06:15, 7 February 2014 (UTC)
- Comment: This article is currently being reviewed by the Guild of CopyEditors. The lead and plot have already been re-written in a concise manner. Extremepro (talk) 06:26, 7 February 2014 (UTC)
- Ha, well that definitely fixes my issues with "the anime proper" on the plot analysis which was poorly written to downright confusing. Still missing the weird flow with "A schoolgirl named Mikako Nagamine is recruited into the UN Space Army to fight in a war against a group" for temporal matters - tense and all that jazz. I'll hold off until the edits are done, since the copyediting goes beyond my ability to fix the prose issues and that the article gets inline for FA's 1A. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 06:30, 7 February 2014 (UTC)
- Okay. GOCE copyedit has finished. Extremepro (talk) 00:43, 10 February 2014 (UTC)
- Sorry for the delay! I didn't realize this was done and I've been overworked as of late. This article is definitely improved with that copyedit. However, all the issues with the plot have been resolved, I'll just make a formal check of the other issues. The references all check out as working and there is no issue with disamb links. The first image is fine, but the second is missing the details on what interview it came from to show that the comparison is not original research - mostly to point out that those locations in particular were actually the source for the scene. It just says "Screenshots of places in Japan used in the animation of Voices of a Distant Star" as the caption, and should also be more explicit in its origin. The description of the file should be updated to be specific about its origin, at least more so than "Screenshot from Makoto Shinkai Interview". I'm not a fan of the introduction to the cast, but that's more of a style point. Though to be fair, missing the actual Japanese could be seen as an issue for some. I.e. " Mikako Nagamine (Mika Shinohara (original Japanese),[1] Sumi Mutoh (Japanese)[2] Cynthia Martinez (English)" Overall, though, I think that this article hits on all the points just fine, but please fix the second image so I can pass it. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 15:47, 3 March 2014 (UTC)
- The source of that interview and the screenshots is from the Makoto Shinkai interview included in the Voices of a Distant Star DVD. The interview did not state where the places were - just that real places were used as references for Voices. Extremepro (talk) 09:40, 4 March 2014 (UTC)
- In that case I'll pass it. I didn't care so much where the places were from, but that there is a source to show that those photographs were used in the actual production. Essentially to say "this was used" versus "this seems/might be the source for this". Coincidences are abound and knowing that an official source specifically acknowledges it is indeed the purpose of that question. With everything resolved, no issues remain. Thanks to the copyeditors - you spared me from having to try and explain the awkward prose. ChrisGualtieri (talk) 17:30, 7 March 2014 (UTC)