Talk:Vogue (Ayumi Hamasaki song)/GA1

GA Review

Reviewer: Carbrera (talk · contribs) 04:38, 01 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Hello, I am Carbrera, and I'll be reviewing this article for possible good article submission.

Just as a possible suggestion for further expansion, does this song have anything to do with Madonna's extremely successful 1990 single of the same name? The single cover seems to show Hamasaki "vogueing", something Madonna popularized after the release and subsequent success of the song. If so, you could definitely state Hamasaki's inspiration for the song and possibly compare the two. If there is no immediate relation between the two songs, ignore all of what I just said and move on to my further suggestions below! Thanks.

Lowercase the only 'l' in 'Latin pop' please
What are you trying to convey about this sentence: "The lyrics highlights theme of the present"? I'm a tad bit confused
Remove the ", as of today" statement please

I don't think you need to include "businessman" unless he is an extremely prominent businessman in Japan

When you say "previous lyrics", do you mean "previous songs"? If so, could you say that instead please?
In the last sentence you remove the first "that" in the last sentence

I would add "highly" before "favourable reviews from music critics."
"one of the best tracks." → "one of her best tracks."
complimented Hamasaki's song writing. He compared the song..." → "complimented Hamasaki's song writing; he compared the song"
Why is the "Ayumi Hamasaki 15th Anniversary Tour" linked to her biography page? This is not necessary so please remove the link
Remove "Best Live Tour" after "Ayumi Hamasaki 15th Anniversary Tour" as it is overly repetitive

Remove "as of today,..." and instead say "currently,..."
"TBS Count Down TV Chart.[22] It stayed there for..." → "TBS Count Down TV Chart;[22] it stayed there for..."

You use "Vogue" quite a bit in the first paragraph, you can always change it to "the song" or "the single"; I'm sure you get the picture by now! We've definitely done a lot of reviews together ! :)

""Vogue" has been remixed by..." → ""Vogue" was remixed by..."
Remove the link for "disc jockeys" per overlinking policy
Replace "The list is:" with something like "The remixes include" or something similar
"Traditional remix..." → "traditional remix" (Unless the person who made the remix was named "Traditional" of course.)

Another good article, I'll put it on hold like usual so you can make the changes. Thanks! Carbrera (talk) 01:25, 4 April 2016 (UTC)[reply]