Talk:Vitamin A/GA1
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Reviewer: Hughesdarren (talk · contribs) 05:39, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
Disclaimer: This is my first review, I'm not a subject expert but have a Science degree. This review is based on what I have read in Wikipedia:Good article criteria
The article is well written, but I have the following questions/suggestions:
In the lead section: Vitamin A occurs as two principal forms in foods: A) Retinols and B) Carotenoids ... the layout looks unusual, should each part start on a new line or be a bullet point?
- In my opinion the text following A) and B) are not so lengthy that they deserves separate paragraphs, and I believe bullet points in Leads are rare. I did delete the last sentence of that paragraph, as it was not about food sources. David notMD (talk) 21:16, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
- OK, no worries. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Should there be a discussion of the differences between Vit A and retinol
- First sentence of Lead describes retinol as one of the several compounds making up Vitamin A. David notMD (talk) 21:16, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
- Yes, apologies. I think I meant more along the lines of how much retinol etc.. makes up Vitamin A. Is there some particular % of each? Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- If you are asking for information about percentages of retinol and beta-carotene (an the lesser carotenoids) in the human diet, the range is huge. Vegans will get 100% from carotenoids (and perhaps a detary supplement), whereas people on a "meat-and-potatoes" diet low in vegetables will be consuming retinol and retinyl esters. Retinoic acid is not a significant component of diet, as RA has a short half-life. David notMD (talk) 16:43, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- OK, thanks for clearing that up. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:12, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
- If you are asking for information about percentages of retinol and beta-carotene (an the lesser carotenoids) in the human diet, the range is huge. Vegans will get 100% from carotenoids (and perhaps a detary supplement), whereas people on a "meat-and-potatoes" diet low in vegetables will be consuming retinol and retinyl esters. Retinoic acid is not a significant component of diet, as RA has a short half-life. David notMD (talk) 16:43, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Yes, apologies. I think I meant more along the lines of how much retinol etc.. makes up Vitamin A. Is there some particular % of each? Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Definition section: "up- or down-regulates", should this be simplified to regulates?
- Done. David notMD (talk) 21:16, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
- Cheers. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Absorption, metabolism and excretion section:
Could this have subsections for carnivores and humans (and maybe herbivores/omnivores - if it is different)? In the lead there is a mention of this but should it be spelled out for the layman reader?
- Subsections in the process of being created.
- Goodo, look forward to reading them. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Wow, I like the bit about yellow fat vs white fat. Makes perfect sense. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:12, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
- Goodo, look forward to reading them. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Below actually under the Metabolic functions section:
Should Retinoic acid replace RA for this section?
- RA established as abbreviation in first paragraph of Metabolic functions, and then text makes clear which eye functions are 11-cis-retinal mediated and which are retinoic acid.
- True and fair enough... Hughesdarren (talk) 10:12, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
Nightblindness subsection: Link to article on Vitamin A Deficiency (VAD)?
- Metabolic functions section and Deficiency section both now has a link to the VAD article. David notMD (talk) 21:25, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
- Cheers, should have done that myself. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Xerophthalmia and childhood blindness subsection: What does IU mean? Actually this is covered later in the unit of measurement section.
- International units (with Wikilink) spelled out as definition of IU. David notMD (talk) 21:16, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
- Goodo. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Immune function: Maybe list some of this infectious diseases that VAD compromises the resistance of?
- I believe the Immune functions section reads better, but please review again. David notMD (talk) 02:22, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
- Diarrhea, measles and all cause mortality...."all-cause mortality" is a lovely medical term. This section is a highlight. Cheers for the work there. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:12, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
Animal requirements section: Do non-vertebrates require Vit A?
- Sentence and three refs added confirming that invertebrates require vitamin A (retinol and carotenoids). David notMD (talk) 09:43, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Cheers, was wondering about that. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
Synthesis section:
Do you think the image for Vitamin A biosynthesis from β-carotene should be larger?
- This figure (and the one above it) become larger when clicked on David notMD (talk) 16:43, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- True, just though I'd ask. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:12, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
Is there any other chemistry (reactions etc...) that could be included?
- None I can think of. David notMD (talk) 02:22, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
- Fair enough. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:12, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
History section: The bit about WWII was so interesting, I was still a believer in that myth. Thanks for shattering that illusion.
- The development and field installation of airplane-detecting radar was top secret during WWII. The German Airforce suspected that the Allies had a new technology, but for boosting British morale, carrots were credited. See http://www.carrotmuseum.co.uk/ww2seeinthedark.html#:~:text=Carrots%20helped%20win%20World%20War,shoot%20down%20enemy%20airplanes%20quicker for detailed history. David notMD (talk) 21:16, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
- And some of us still fall for it. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:25, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
tables of data - should they have a reference included in the table?
- Done. Additional usage of existing references. David notMD (talk) 16:43, 21 March 2022 (UTC)
- Cool, Thanks. Hughesdarren (talk) 10:12, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
I believe I have addressed all of the above queries. Please let me know if any responses are incomplete, or if there is a second set of queries. David notMD (talk) 02:22, 22 March 2022 (UTC)
Review complete. All questions answered/resolved. Thanks for your candour and prompt replies. All good to go.Hughesdarren (talk) 05:39, 20 March 2022 (UTC)
Rate | Attribute | Review Comment |
---|---|---|
1. Well-written: | ||
1a. the prose is clear, concise, and understandable to an appropriately broad audience; spelling and grammar are correct. | Clear and mostly easy to read. Have made some suggestions above. As a layman I felt I could follow each section. Spelling and grammar good with many links to jargon that was not readily understood | |
1b. it complies with the Manual of Style guidelines for lead sections, layout, words to watch, fiction, and list incorporation. | Nicely broken up into logical sections, The lead gives a good overall understanding of the topic | |
2. Verifiable with no original research: | ||
2a. it contains a list of all references (sources of information), presented in accordance with the layout style guideline. | A comprehensive list of sources, correctly formatted | |
2b. reliable sources are cited inline. All content that could reasonably be challenged, except for plot summaries and that which summarizes cited content elsewhere in the article, must be cited no later than the end of the paragraph (or line if the content is not in prose). | Sources are mostly Scientific journals and Government websites | |
2c. it contains no original research. | Text is supported by reliable sources | |
2d. it contains no copyright violations or plagiarism. | Ran through Earwig copyvio detector and all OK | |
3. Broad in its coverage: | ||
3a. it addresses the main aspects of the topic. | Definitely, and then some. The history section was a big surprise and the medical section is thorough but very readable | |
3b. it stays focused on the topic without going into unnecessary detail (see summary style). | All content directly related to topic | |
4. Neutral: it represents viewpoints fairly and without editorial bias, giving due weight to each. | ||
5. Stable: it does not change significantly from day to day because of an ongoing edit war or content dispute. | Alot of content added between Dec 2021 and Feb 2022, but no content disputes or edit warring. Stable edit history before and since the expansion | |
6. Illustrated, if possible, by media such as images, video, or audio: | ||
6a. media are tagged with their copyright statuses, and valid non-free use rationales are provided for non-free content. | All images used have copyright status tagged with file | |
6b. media are relevant to the topic, and have suitable captions. | All images relevant topic with an appropriate caption | |
7. Overall assessment. | Good to go, see discussion above. |