Talk:Victorian Age: Vampire/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: The Most Comfortable Chair (talk · contribs) 05:49, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Hello. I will have the review shortly. Thank you. — The Most Comfortable Chair 05:49, 14 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Text only character size of the article is "7631", as of this edit. — The lead should be condensed into two paragraphs per MOS:LEADLENGTH.
- Very well.--Alexandra^IDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Overview

"The Victorian Age: Vampire rulebook does not contain complete rules, and as such the game requires another rulebook from the series, such as Vampire: The Masquerade Revised Edition or Dark Ages: Vampire, to be played." — "to be played" hangs out a little awkwardly at the end. Consider removing it or writing it earlier, such as → "The Victorian Age: Vampire rulebook does not contain complete rules, and as such the game requires another rulebook from the series to be played, such as Vampire: The Masquerade Revised Edition or Dark Ages: Vampire."
- Cheers, this subtle change does make a big difference.--Alexandra^IDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"While the series until then had largely been written from an American perspective," → "While the series had largely been written from an American perspective until then," — Reads a bit more smoothly.
- Done.--Alexandra^IDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"form of 2003's Kindred of the Ebony Kingdom." → "form of Kindred of the Ebony Kingdom in 2003." — To make it sound more formal.
- Done.--Alexandra^IDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"social reform" — If there are any particular issues it focuses on, mention that instead.
- The source only says "social reform - both violent and diplomatic". I have incorporated this bit, but it doesn't mention specific issues.--Alexandra^IDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]
"supported it with two supplements." — Could their contents be mentioned briefly?
- They are mentioned in the table just below this paragraph - I feel it would be a little much to have it repeated that soon.--Alexandra^IDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Related media

"A trilogy of novelizations was written by Philippe Boulle, consisting of 2002's A Morbid Initiation and 2003's The Madness of Priests and The Wounded King." → "A trilogy of novelizations was written by Philippe Boulle, consisting of A Morbid Initiation (2002), The Madness of Priests and The Wounded King (2003)." or "A trilogy of novelizations was written by Philippe Boulle, consisting of A Morbid Initiation in 2002, and The Madness of Priests and The Wounded King in 2003."
- Done.--Alexandra^IDV 23:27, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That should be all for now. It is compact and written well, and it should pass. Thank you. — The Most Comfortable Chair 18:38, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@The Most Comfortable Chair: Thank you for the review! I have implemented your suggestions, with one exception, which I left a comment for above.--Alexandra^IDV 23:29, 19 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Final

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)

It is reasonably well written.
a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
It is factually accurate and verifiable.
a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
It is broad in its coverage.
a (major aspects): b (focused):
It follows the neutral point of view policy.
Fair representation without bias:
It is stable.
No edit wars, etc.:
It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
Overall:
Pass/Fail:
The article is concise and flows really well. It is as interesting as the game, and meets the criteria. Thank you for all everyone's efforts! — The Most Comfortable Chair 03:30, 20 October 2020 (UTC)[reply]