Talk:Veloz and Yolanda/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Jaguar (talk · contribs) 11:29, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Looks like a well summarised and comprehensive article. I will mainly focus on prose issues and will leave initial comments within a few hours. Thanks! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 11:29, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

GA review – see WP:WIAGA for criteria

Is it reasonably well written?
A. Prose quality:

B. MoS compliance for lead, layout, words to watch, fiction, and lists:
Is it factually accurate and verifiable?
A. References to sources:

B. Citation of reliable sources where necessary:

C. No original research:
Is it broad in its coverage?
A. Major aspects:

B. Focused:
Is it neutral?
Fair representation without bias:
Is it stable?
No edit wars, etc:
Does it contain images to illustrate the topic?
A. Images are copyright tagged, and non-free images have fair use rationales:

B. Images are provided where possible and appropriate, with suitable captions:
Overall:
Pass or Fail:

Initial comments

Lead

"They performed on stage in productions such as Hot-Cha!, which ran for 119 shows on Broadway in 1932." - just a question here, does this mean that the performed 119 shows in 1932 or 119 shows throughout their career?
The lead summarises the article well and complies per WP:LEAD and also the GA criteria. Length is not an issue, as the article itself is comprehensive.

Yup, 119 shows in 1932.♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:02, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Other activities

"They hosted a TV show, The Veloz and Yolanda Hour, for several years.[13] and they opened a nightclub in Florida, The Iris" - I've fixed this broken sentence myself, not really worth mentioning in the GA review!
"In 1962 Veloz, now aged sixty, sued for divorce on the basis of extreme cruelty by his wife." - this doesn't sound clear, who was suing who? Would it sound better like "In 1962 Veloz, now aged sixty, was sued for divorce on the basis of extreme cruelty by his wife"? So it sounds like his wife sued him?

Has been reworded, looks OK!♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:04, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

In this section 'Jean Phelps Davi' is referred to by different names, for example "In 1956 Yolanda sued Veloz for maintenance, accusing him of infidelity with Jean Davi" and then "Frank later married his former dance partner, Jean Phelps, twenty years his younger". Was her name Jean Davi or Jean Phelps?

@Aymatth2: Any thoughts? Is it Davi or Phelps Davi or Phelps? Note B Jaguar does at least explain a bit.♦ Dr. Blofeld 17:04, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

She was born Jeanette Phelps but called herself Jean Phelps. She began to call herself Jean Davi after her marriage to Bebe Davi, and performed with Veloz as Jean Davi. She divorced Bebe Davi and by the time she married Veloz was back to calling herself Jean Phelps. I will try to edit to make it clearer. Aymatth2 (talk) 17:34, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

References

There are no problems with the references, they all seem to be reliable and also the citations are in their correct placing. This meets the GA criteria.

On hold

The prose work in this article is good and the references are also in good standing. The lead summarises the article and most of this article is in good shape - the only problems I found were a few prose issues. Once they're addressed, this article should meet the GA criteria swiftly. Thank you. ☠ Jaguar ☠ 15:58, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

@Jaguar: Should be sorted now. Thanks for the review!♦ Dr. Blofeld 18:10, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]

Close - promoted

Thanks for addressing those concerns so quickly. The article now undoubtedly meets the GA criteria, the lead, prose and references are good and it is also as comprehensive as it can be for the subject. Looks like another GA, well done! ☠ Jaguar ☠ 21:13, 10 July 2014 (UTC)[reply]