Talk:Veera (1994 film)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Krish! (talk · contribs) 11:56, 14 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

remove "that was" and keep directed by.

Done it was Baffle gab's addition. --Kailash29792 (talk) 16:50, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

maybe "some circumstances" or "the circumstances".

Isn't "circumstances beyond his control" clear enough? --Kailash29792 (talk) 16:50, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"The screenplay of Veera was written to be substantially different from the original; it was tailored to Rajinikanth's style and had logic added to the scenario, though Arunachalam, who made script changes, received sole screenwriting credit." - You should mention either the original screenwriter's name somewhere here or something like the original screenwriter was not given credit for people to understand it better. Also the logic part. Was the original slapstick?

No I don't think so. I think it was a general rom-com, where the hero is promiscuous. But here he isn't like that. If I'm missing something, please read the source (continued here) and tell me, then I'll rewrite. --Kailash29792 (talk) 16:50, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kailash29792 I like your new edit and I read the sources. So here is what I suggest "The screenplay of Veera was written to be substantially different from the original; it was tailored to Rajinikanth's style and altered with his image (or fanbase) in mind, with new additional scenarios being added to the script. P. Satyanand, the writer of the original film received the story credit credit but Arunachalam, who made script changes, received the sole screenwriting credit." How is this?Krish | Talk To Me 17:08, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The wife part is confusing. Whose? Breaking the previous line would help if you want to keep the wife part.

Panchu's. Written that way. --Kailash29792 (talk) 16:50, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"because they expected a film like Annaamalai." - I think it should read "because they expected a film similar to their previous collaboration Annaamalai."
replace audience improved with Ticket sales improved.

Done --Kailash29792 (talk) 16:50, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Plot

"and wins over Devi" - immediately or later?

Later. Written that way. --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:06, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"He learns Devi's house" - There he learns?

Yes, after returning to Karamadai, he learns that Devi's house had been destroyed when he was in Madras. --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:06, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Muthu finds Devi alive." - where?

At the recording studio. --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:06, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"After Roopa and Viswanathan return, Muthu tries to tell Roopa about Devi but decides not to after she tells him about how her friend, at Roopa's suggestion, murdered her lover for infidelity." - I got confused. This should be re-written.

But you do understand what happened, right? Any better wording? --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:06, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed it myself.Krish | Talk To Me 17:24, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"marry due to Devi's demands" - "on Devi's demands" sounds better.

Done --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:06, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Can you look at the use of Oxford comma. I noticed at two places but are not used other times.

I don't think I'll ever understand the comma usage concept completely. Please add and remove commas wherever necessary. --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:06, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kailash, I understood everything but me asking these questions was a way to tell you to add those things in the plot for the readers.Krish | Talk To Me 17:14, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I think you made a mistake: after Roopa returns, Veera (as she knows him) tries to tell her about Devi. Out of the blue, she tells him about the infidelity incident, and this frightens Veera into keeping quiet about Devi. Kailash29792 (talk) 17:34, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Restored the original version.Krish | Talk To Me 17:41, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Development

Can you frame the first line differently? Such as "when he saw this......"
As per lead: logic and circumstances etc
"the sexual aspect in Veera is secondary." - "was changed to secondary" or "made secondary"?

Made secondary, written that way. --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:25, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Cinematography was handled by P. S. Prakash, editing was by the duo Ganesh–Kumar, art direction was by Magie,[8] action choreography was by Raju,[9] and dance choreography was by Raghuram." - Break it and do it differently.

See how it is now. --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:25, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Rajinikanth played Muthuveerapan, who lives two lives as Muthu, the husband of Devi; and Veera, the husband of Roopa." - Something is wrong.

What do I do? --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:25, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

The listing of cast should be changed.

How? By following the credits? --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:25, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I think this whole paragraph should be removed because the actors don't talk about their roles and everything is mentioned in the plot and the cast names are already in the cast section. This seems repetitive and unnecessary, IMO. Rest is upto you.Krish | Talk To Me 17:35, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I agree, I've transferred the sources to the cast section. Now I have just retained just Devi (Meena), Roopa (Roja) and Harichandra (Anand), how is it? --Kailash29792 (talk) 18:17, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

It's much better, Kailash.Krish | Talk To Me 18:27, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Filming

Mistake in the end of first line.

What to do? --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:52, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Fixed it.Krish | Talk To Me 18:16, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

""Konji Konji" was filmed at Narada Gana Sabha, Madras. Because the song that depicts Muthu performing on stage "didn't lend itself to anything vibrant", Krissna intercut it with scenes in which Roopa visualises Muthu in various outfits and begins to find him attractive. - mention "The Song" before each songs and this line should be tweaked.

Done --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:52, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"The song was to be filmed" - "was filmed".
"Rajinkanth performed all of his character's stunts without using a stunt double." - remove character's.

Done --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:52, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

" a rope was attached to a pulley, one side of which was attached to Mani's waist. He was made to hang horizontally from it, with his face and hands turned towards the floor; completing the task took him two days and two nights. - It needs re-write.

Do you need access to the source to proof-read and suggest a better phrasing? --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:52, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Yes, let me read and see what this exactly means because it is confusing and the flow is not good.Krish | Talk To Me 18:16, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

"Most of Rajinikanth's acting was improvised here. - "improvised on set"?

Done you are right. --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:52, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Change Muthuveerapan to Muthu for consistency.

Done --Kailash29792 (talk) 17:52, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kailash29792 More later. All my queries can be fixed by minor edits. It's a well-written article up until now. Also, it's astonishing how you get old sources for these articles. Kudos.Krish | Talk To Me 16:05, 15 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Themes

"According to writer Archanaa Sekar, in Tamil films who are women married to the same man show" - What? This does not make sense.

The original wording was According to writer Archanaa Sekar, in Tamil films women married to the same man show "an unusual display of sisterhood" and "female solidarity", citing Veera as an example because the two heroines are initially friends (despite being unaware that they are married to the same man), and once a conflict arises amongst them, "the friendship helps smooth things over, and the film ends with the two choosing to co-exist with the man." before Baffle changed it. Should I restore it verbatim? --Kailash29792 (talk) 05:00, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

That's what I initially thought (changed during copy/edit). Add this one. It's clear.Krish | Talk To Me 15:46, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Done accordingly. Kailash29792 (talk) 16:57, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Soundtack

Fix the listing of "songs set in".

See how it is now. I have also added "On the cassette released by Pyramid, they exist as a single track" with a source, is it fine? --Kailash29792 (talk) 06:58, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I did not meant you to add this but to avaoid listing all these songs one after the other. Split the line into two and it is done. Also remove this new addition.Krish | Talk To Me 15:44, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Krish!, I've removed the line but retained the source (as it contains the tracklist). Can you fix the other sentence you have an issue with since I cannot understand how to? (if it's the raga sentence, I really don't see how I can split it). Kailash29792 (talk) 16:52, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Kailash29792 You have not replied to my response in the lead section. The only point that is left to tackle.Krish | Talk To Me 17:07, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Other comments

Why there is so much usage of a semi-colon in the article?

Everything else is fine. Good job on the overall article.Krish | Talk To Me 01:55, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I fixed two things myself and now the article is ready to pass.Krish | Talk To Me 20:03, 16 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]