Talk:Vaster than Empires and More Slow/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Midnightblueowl (talk · contribs) 12:36, 30 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I'll take on this review. Comments soon. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:36, 30 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

Lede

I would specify the country of original publication in the lede, and probably also explicitly describe the author as "American". Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:40, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done
We need to specify the year of original publication in that opening sentence too. Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:40, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done
"the earth" should be "the Earth". Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:40, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done
"however, he has an abrasive personality, that leads to tensions within the team" - perhaps this would flow better without the second comma. Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:40, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- true. done
"The story was republished in Le Guin's collections The Wind's Twelve Quarters and Buffalo Gals and Other Animal Presences, as well as in many other collections." Maybe find a synonym for "collections" so that it doesn't repeat? Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:55, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done: anthologies.

Background and setting

"the earth" and then "Earth". Standardise to latter. Midnightblueowl (talk) 09:59, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done

Plot summary

"follows a crew of a survey ship" - "follows the crew" perhaps? Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done

Sources

There are several issues with the location data. Add locations to all publisher names, while removing any country names. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done
The Watson citation needs to specify the title and volume of the journal. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done
Standardise the retrieval dates, too. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done
Can we get page numbers for Erlich? Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:27, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done
I would standardise the retrieval date on the "1972 Hugo Awards" to match the other dates in this section. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:27, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- done
Silverberg doesn't need to say "New York, New York"; also problematic is that the New York link takes us to the article on the state, whereas I think you are referring to New York City here (I wouldn't actually worry about having any of them linked; I don't think it adds anything) Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:27, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- I've modified the link and removed all but the first use, but surely if we're adding location information it doesn't hurt to make the location easier to read about?
  - I suppose it doesn't hurt. Either way, it's not an obstacle at GAN. Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:20, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
Silverberg also needs an ISBN, if possible. Midnightblueowl (talk) 12:27, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]
- Yeah this does need one, but it's proving rather hard to find, for some reason. I'll keep trying, but I'm not hopeful.

Other than this I am happy that it meets all of the GA criteria and will be passed as such in due course. Midnightblueowl (talk) 10:07, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]

I am now happy to pass this as a GA. Once more you've done some great work, Vanamonde! Well done. Midnightblueowl (talk) 13:20, 31 August 2016 (UTC)[reply]