Talk:Uxbridge/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Malleus Fatuorum (talk · contribs) 00:08, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

My overwhelming impression is that article starts fairly strongly with a good History section, but tends to peter out after that. And there's nothing on demographics, religion, or public services. Where do the residents of Uxbridge work, what do they do, what's their economic and social background? Racial mix? There's also a slight tendency to drift onto topics that don't seem relevant to the sections they're included in.

Urban development

"During the Second World War Uxbridge adopted the Royal Navy destroyer HMS Intrepid in 1942, to help towards the ship's costs; Intrepid was lost to enemy action the following year." What has that to do with urban development? Might be worth including in the Intrepid's article, but why here?
It seemed to fit nicely as an example of the town's war effort, but if you'd prefer it to go, I'll remove it. Harrison49 (talk) 20:18, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
It's not that I'd prefer it to go, it's that I'd prefer it to be properly integrated into the article in an appropriate place. Malleus Fatuorum 20:41, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Economy

"... a short road populated by older shops; as well as being home to St Margaret's Church." Apart from the crazy punctuation, what does St Margaret's have to do with economy?
Nothing. I've removed the mention of St Margaret's Church from the sentence. Harrison49 (talk) 20:18, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Education

This section is just a list of schools. Does Uxbridge operate a comprehensive or a selective school system? How do the schools in Uxbridge compare with other schools locally/nationally?

Transport

" Further upstream is Uxbridge Lock, and nearby is a derelict flour mill formerly owned by Allied Mills. The mill was bought in the 19th century by William King, who named it "Kingsmill". Kingsmill continues to be used as a brand of bread by Associated British Foods." What has any of that to do with transport?
It links with the historic transport role that the canal provided, as it is an example of industry that sprang up along the canal. If you would prefer, I will remove it. Harrison49 (talk) 20:18, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I guess that's debatable, but I won't fight you over it. Malleus Fatuorum 20:49, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"The route is currently served by the 427, 207, and 607 bus services." When is "currently"? It's a word best avoided unless the reader has some idea of when you were writing.
"Currently" has been replaced by "As of 2013" at the start of the sentence. Harrison49 (talk) 20:18, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

"... delivered with local councils". Delivered in conjunction with local councils? Delivered by local councils?
I've gone with "in conjunction with local councils". Harrison49 (talk) 20:18, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Notable people

This really needs to be rewritten as prose.

This has been rewritten. Harrison49 (talk) 22:01, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

References

Ref #44 is missing a page number.
Number inserted. Harrison49 (talk) 20:18, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Thank you for taking the time to review the article and also for your copyedits. I'm working on a section dealing with demographics which I will add in tomorrow. Harrison49 (talk) 20:18, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

You're quite lucky with the demographics really, with only two wards to worry about, and I think the lack of such (generally, you need to consider religion as well, preferably in a separate religion section) is really the only thing standing between this article a little green blob. Malleus Fatuorum 20:49, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I've written a section on demographics, and am working on a religion section. My sources tend to be about the historical side, so I'm researching more recent information to add. Harrison49 (talk) 22:01, 1 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I've created a religion section, made up of data from the 2011 census. Harrison49 (talk) 22:26, 4 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Looks good. All I think we need need now is a geography section. Malleus Fatuorum 22:55, 4 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Mention of the Frays River? Major roads? Mention for religious buildings?

Comment A geography section on a settlement article would seem a reasonable requirement. J3Mrs (talk) 22:35, 30 April 2013 (UTC)[reply]
It would indeed, a very good point. Malleus Fatuorum 22:09, 2 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I've added details of the landscape and rivers to the geography section, and added details of the roads to the transport section. Harrison49 (talk) 21:35, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

I think our work here is done now. I'd advise against rushing too precipitously at FAC, but I think you've got thae makings of a featured article with a bit more coverage of the non-historical aspects of Uxbridge. I'm satisfied that the article now meets the GA criteria though. Malleus Fatuorum 21:37, 5 May 2013 (UTC)[reply]

The discussion above is closed. Please do not modify it. Subsequent comments should be made on the appropriate discussion page. No further edits should be made to this discussion.