Talk:Unser Mund sei voll Lachens, BWV 110/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Yash! (talk · contribs) 12:33, 21 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Short and a sweet one. Will be done by tomorrow. Ya sh ! 12:33, 21 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Lead

Shouldn't "Thomaskantor" be in italics?

done --GA

"different kinds of oboe" -> "different oboes"

not sure, - would people understand that it's as different as oboe d'amore and oboe da caccia? --GA

"3 oboes (oboe d'amore, oboe da caccia)" - there are three but why two in the bracket?

If it wasn't in brackets, the reader might arrive at 5, but three players play different kinds in different movements. --GA

"He derived the first chorus..." - can we start this as a separate paragraph? So that the bulk of the text can be a bit more evenly distributed.

I made a break for the switch from text to music. --GA

Background, history and words

"the first day of Christmas, which was celebrated for three days." - it is a bit confusing to me. Perhaps a hatnote or a bit of explanation about why the first day was celebrated for three days?

Christmas was celebrated for three days ;) --GA

"In his first year" - do mention which year it was.

done --GA

Perhaps a link for "librettist"?

done --GA

A slight confusion. Is something wrong here or am I missing something?
- The lead: "The text has no recitatives alternating with arias, but instead three biblical quotations,"
- The prose: "In this early text, three biblical quotations alternate with arias"

Sorry, don't get the question. Normally recitatives alternate with arias, but not here, where it's biblical text in different musical forms, only one a recitative --GA

"but the find of the printed text showed that there was no relation." -> "but the discovery of the printed text showed that it was not related."

taken, may the original writer forgive me ;) --GA

"The cantata was not published until 1876 when it appeared in the Bach Gesellschaft Ausgabe, the first complete edition of the composer's works." - ref?

Please look in the free score (first item under "sources"), - I don't know how to make the template an inline citation, --GA

Instead of using "Background, history and words", I believe only "History" or Background and history" will do it.

dropped background instead --GA

Music

"was already old-fashioned when Bach composed it" - can we use some another term for "old-fashioned"?

I don't know a good equivalent. The text has an old feel compared to others Bach set at the time. --GA

"outmoded" (my favorite), "dilapidated" (my second favorite), "antiquated", "tattered", or "worn out" perhaps? Ya sh ! 05:30, 23 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

My lack of English,never heard the first, so am unsure. The others don't work because theysound negative to me.Will try to say it in prose then. --Gerda Arendt (talk) 07:53, 23 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"The opening chorus is "Unser Mund sei voll Lachens" (May our mouth be full of laughter), It" - let's end all our sentences with a period.

yes ;) --GA

"seemed suitable" - seemed suitable according to? Better to add "according to XX" or rephrase it.

according to everybody then, - they treated the heavenly king as the secular one, - how to say that better?

Something like "was used" or "was preferred" or "was selected" maybe? Ya sh ! 05:30, 23 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"even more variety" -> "more variety" - 'more' is already a tricky word to use and 'even more' is even worse ;)

dropped "even" --GA

"Dürr interprets th choice" -> "Dürr interprets the choice"

don't you think it's easier for you to simply change such an obvious mistake? --GA

Yes, but I was on my phone and my Chrome chrases every time I try to edit any prose that is even less in size than that. Any good suggestions for a new Android phone? ;) Ya sh ! 05:30, 23 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Link for Klaus Hofmann?

yes --GA

"shining over" - "shining" is subjective and best to be removed.

yes, especially as it was part of a copyvio section, good catch! --GA

"energetic music" - "energetic" again a subjective term. Can you think of some other word?

the source has "demands all the more energetically" - how would you suggest to summarize that? --GA

Can't think of any better alternative. Ya sh ! 05:30, 23 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

"When the text refers to the strings, the winds have a rest." - what does the "wind" refer to?

the winds from the table header, - linked for clarity

That should be enough :) Ya sh ! 18:30, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks for looking carefully, - tried to fix what I could, --Gerda Arendt (talk) 22:01, 22 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]

Great work again Gerda :) - passing it! Ya sh ! 11:18, 23 December 2015 (UTC)[reply]