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Talk:Ulyana Nesheva/GA1

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Reviewer: Sainsf (talk · contribs) 18:30, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Looks interesting but fairly long.. I will post my comments within a week. Cheers, Sainsf (talk · contribs) 18:30, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Sainsf: Thank you for your time and desire to help! Would be waiting for your comments. Cheers, Irene T 19:10, 18 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Okay here are all my comments. Go through all of them first and get the general idea how we need to work things out. Mostly the issue with the grammar (which might need a copyedit) and in the content arrangement. No hurry, let me know what you think. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 16:14, 20 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Sainsf: Appreciate your hard work and a really detailed overview. You are truly doing an incredible and throughout job as a GA reviewer. From my side, will do my best to finish with all the fixes over this weekend. Be safe! Tio10 (talk) 00:56, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

I am happy to see your motivation Tio10 :) This is going to be quite a lot of work, and I was honestly thinking of failing this for now as a good copyedit can be requested at WP:GOCE/REQ to fix the prose and then renominate instead of one person pointing out errors and the other fixing it.. quite laborious to be honest. And the work on foreign language sources will take time as well but is necessary so that I can check their reliability. Let me know what you think. Stay safe and cheers, Sainsf (knock knock · am I there?) 22:40, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Sainsf: Yes, probably that would be logical, for now, I will fix all the mistakes that you have pointed out including sources, grammar and etc. And after that probably better to request a copyedit at WP:GOCE/REQ, as I've read it might take up to 20 days. If I have any questions regarding the pending fixes, will you mind me asking you?) Once it's done including copy/edit, should I just again apply for GA, but there will be a new reviewer, correct?Tio10 (talk) 00:56, 28 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

@Tio10: Right. I would recommend listing this at GOCE/REQ and working on the other (non-prose) suggestions I have made here, like the arrangement of content in the sections and adding reviews of Nesheva's works instead of just her own words which would give readers a biased perspective. Also take a look at these GAs in your topic and try to structure the article like them. Renominate it after that for sure. There is no rule as such that would disallow me to review the article again, as I am not a significant contributor, but it would be better if a fresh pair of eyes take a look at it and, along with my suggestions, you get their remarks as well which would be much more helpful. With that, I am failing this, and wishing you all the best next time. Don't hesitate to contact me if you feel the need to. Cheers, Sainsf (knock knock · am I there?) 06:51, 29 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
General comments
  • No copyvio concerns, dablinks
  • Many duplinks though. You can view them by this excellent tool. Please link items only on their first mention in the lead and the article, nowhere else unless very necessary.
 Done Removed all the duplicates, except one citation, but as far as I understand, citations stand alone in their usage and links can be duplicated there. If I'm mistaken, let me know and I will fix it asap too. However, I would really appreciate if you can guide me on the script installation in my common.js for future, I'm not sure how to create it correctly. Tio10 (talk) 23:23, 24 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
I still see a lot of duplinks. Citation links do not really matter here. Installing the tool should be easy if you follow the instructions on the page.. you can also see WP:User scripts. Sainsf (knock knock · am I there?) 22:44, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The image captions should name the work first, then year and type of canvas and finally the artist's name and place of display
 Done Tio10 (talk) 23:23, 24 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Sourcing: Need time to check. But citations need a lot of translated titles as many sources are in a foreign language. Translate the titles to English and put in |trans-title= parameter, and use |language= to mention the language of the source

- Working on it, most of them are in Russian/Ukranian, will do it tomorrow.

  • Inline citations also missing after a few lines.

- I've read the Wiki page about it, however, would be super helpful if you can show example of what do you mean by that, as I'm not sure I've understood it correctly, unfortunately, not a native speaker and didn't work that much with citations. Sorry for that and thank you in advance!

It means you put the citation to the source on which say 3 consecutive lines are based right after the end of those 3 lines. The lines which have no citation at the end look unsourced and should not be there in a GA. Sainsf (knock knock · am I there?) 22:40, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
Comments on prose
  • Lead
  • Would it be possible to move out the translated names to the infobox instead? Seems to be a lot of clutter for the first line of lead
 Done Tio10 (talk) 23:27, 24 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • You do not need citations in lead unless the fact is absent in the main text (it should not be so .. lead should mention all that there is in the main text)
 Done Tio10 (talk) 23:233, 24 April 2020 (UTC)
  • Expanding her work through collaborations in the areas of fashion and jewellery design, graphic design as well as book illustrations This is a sentence fragment
 Done Tio10 (talk) 23:58, 24 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Early life
  • who is antiquarian Missing 'an'
 Done Tio10 (talk) 23:23, 24 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Her parents got married in April 1981 and stayed in Kerch, Crimea. Crimea need not be mentioned again (there are other instances). You do this for a few other place names too
 Done Tio10 (talk) 23:23, 24 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • created by her mother Tatiana Is this something Nesheva would say?
 Done Removed the whole sentence, therefore there no need in this fix anymore. Tio10 (talk) 23:23, 24 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Is the home description that necessary? Sounds like a common thing in many people's lives to me
 Done You are right, removed it, to avoid the unnecessary facts. Initially pulled it from her interview to show from where the inspiration for the craftsmanship was also coming from. (talk) 00:15, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • The same year she enrolled in the Roman Serdiuk's School of Fine arts in 1990 'The same year' is redundant. Also the year is not mentioned in the previous line
 Done Tio10 (talk) 00:17, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • her mother encouraged her daughter's Better omit 'daughter's'
 Done Tio10 (talk) 00:17, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Academy of Design and Arts KSADA What is KSADA short for?
  • for the first time on her own, as she stated Semicolon after 'own'. Also after 'arts' in the next line
 DoneTio10 (talk) 00:38, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Career:
  • Ulyana Nesheva began her artist career in the early 20s Call her Nesheva consistently apart from first mentions
 Done Tio10 (talk) 00:40, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Eventually, she developed a style that ... ability to let the viewer in Are these the words of some critic? It appears like original research without attribution. Say 'X (the critic or author of the work you cite, also mention their profession or credentials) notes that (whatever characteristics are noted)'. Also for Her approach to artwork is consistently rich, nuanced and thought-provoking - you get the idea. It is very important to omit all such instances from the article.
  • Her breakthrough as an artist, Nesheva Sounds better as 'Nesheva made her breakthrough as an artist ..'
 Done True, thank you! Tio10 (talk) 00:45, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • when she took the first place in Kyiv Art Week and the same year displayed her work at Berlin Art Week 'when she won the first place in Kyiv Art Week; the same year she displayed her work at Berlin Art Week' sounds better
 Done Tio10 (talk) 00:47, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Within the six years period What period?
 Done Added the years range. Tio10 (talk) 00:49, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • Nesheva had 6 personal exhibitions Generally numbers below 10 are written in words (per WP:MOS)
 Done Tio10 (talk) 00:50, 25 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]
  • and mostly in the private collections Which private collections (referred to as 'the')?
  • Who is Artash Adriasov? Add his credentials to introduce him
  • Why does art start with 'A' in Tattoo Art? Also why 'T' in dive into Tattoo art and elsewhere?
  • in the other shape of art Shape of art
  • In most places where you say 'as she said' just remove 'as' and put a semicolon not a comma.
  • in the unknown studio in Kerch 'an' not 'the'. of two-headed girl in a dress 'a' missing. I see may such grammatical mistakes.
  • Many celebrities have tattoos done by Nesheva: Nadya Dorofeeva, Evgeny Filatov, Nata Zhizhchenko say 'such as'. The part after colon looks incomplete
  • Don't link within quotes
  • Nesheva built a repertoire in the fashion business as well 'has' built
  • NESHEVA Sketch Clothing Are all caps needed?
  • Valeriya, however, the partnership semicolon needed
  • however, the partnership ended six months later, but Nesheva's involvement in the fashion world was not over However and but all in one line looks messy
  • as the baseline for each new collection of brand was works of acclaimed tattoo artists from all over the world Again delete 'as' and use semicolon
  • She created sensual minimalist drawings ... self-expression and freedom in the collections Many grammatical errors, and meaning unclear
  • Artistry
  • becoming a prosperous artist 'becoming' is redundant
  • I feel this section can be merged with Career, a lot of things are common. Make a separate section on her best artworks and merge with Artworks. See my comments for the next section
  • On 7 December 11 Say '2011'
  • Ignoring the grammar for now, the section does a good job at presenting a timeline of her works. Minor ones can be omitted. This makes the next section really redundant. The idea to improve this section now is to enlist her best works along with comments from art work critics (this is a major missing in the article. We only get to read what Nesheva herself has to say but no stranger's comments).
  • I will not do a serious review of the part from Career to Artworks now. Let me know what you plan to do about these sections, do a good rewrite and add what is necessary, then we can carry on.
  • Artworks:
  • Nesheva is a versatile artist, she produced over 50 paintings in her career change to 'Nesheva is a versatile artist, having produced over 50 paintings in her career' so that it sounds not like praise for her, rather as a clear outcome of facts
  • This is a partial list of important artworks produced by Nesheva from 2011 to 2013. I really do not see the relevance of such a list from a random section of her two decades long career. Rather you can describe some of the best she has produced so far (best as in the works that have earned her maximum appreciation from credible critics, look for good reviews on her).
  • The list itself needs formatting like columns and maybe actually a table to sort things by year

. More to come. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 15:32, 20 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

Okay so all in all:

GA review (see here for what the criteria are, and here for what they are not)
  1. It is reasonably well written.
    a (prose, spelling, and grammar): b (MoS for lead, layout, word choice, fiction, and lists):
    Needs considerable work, possibly a thorough copyedit
  2. It is factually accurate and verifiable.
    a (reference section): b (citations to reliable sources): c (OR): d (copyvio and plagiarism):
    Needs a good check with some work on citations, but I am not sure of many sources as they are in a language I don't know. I might have to leave a lot of this to you to ensure we use only verifiable sources. And a few places do sound like OR so we need to take care of those.
  3. It is broad in its coverage.
    a (major aspects): b (focused):
    Broadness not guaranteed as we hear only Nesheva's comments and none of any critics or other parties
  4. It follows the neutral point of view policy.
    Fair representation without bias:
    Sounds slightly biased in places but can be fixed
  5. It is stable.
    No edit wars, etc.:
  6. It is illustrated by images and other media, where possible and appropriate.
    a (images are tagged and non-free content have fair use rationales): b (appropriate use with suitable captions):
  7. Overall:
    Pass/Fail:

@Tio10: Please respond by 28th, else this nom will be failed due to inactivity for a week. Sainsf (talk · contribs) 20:17, 23 April 2020 (UTC)[reply]

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