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Talk:USS Pennsylvania (BB-38)

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GA Review

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This review is transcluded from Talk:USS Pennsylvania (BB-38)/GA1. The edit link for this section can be used to add comments to the review.

Reviewer: Peacemaker67 (talk · contribs) 08:50, 14 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]


I have a few comments:

  • the oa length, beam and draft conversions don't match between the body and infobox
    • Fixed
  • the displacement doesn't match between the body and infobox, also say what sort of displacement in the infobox?
    • Fixed
  • the infobox says Curtiss turbines, the body says Parsons
    • Fixed
  • the power doesn't match between body and infobox, link shp in infobox
    • Fixed
  • range and capacity figures don't gel between infobox and body
    • You'd think I'd have fixed all of these when I rewrote the article ;)
  • the secondary battery figures don't match between infobox and body 22 vs 14
    • Fixed
  • where were the TTs located?
    • Hmm, Friedman doesn't say
      • Ah, but Conway's had it
  • the belt armor figures don't match between infobox and body
    • Fixed
  • the turret armor figures don't match between infobox and body
    • Fixed
  • on a couple of occasions, I suggest using a colon followed by a narrative list with intermediate semicolons. An example is " a delegation consisting of" but also "during which she stopped in"
    • Done
  • there are three links to various versions of Culebra, Puerto Rico. I assume it is the one place, so suggest trimming.
    • Good catch - the dupelink tool didn't spot that one
  • "to Puget Sound ofn 21 January"
    • Fixed
  • "On 15 June, Admiral Joseph M. Reeves took command of the fleet aboard Pennsylvania", but up to this point, I thought she was only a divisional flagship?
    • Clarified
  • CNO is not introduced
    • Fixed
  • suggest "the Japanese having evacuated without the awareness of the US forces in the area"→"the Japanese having evacuated without US forces in the area having becoming aware of it." if that is what is meant?
    • Done
  • were the contingent of 790 passengers military or civilian?
    • Military, I'd assume, but DANFS doesn't say who they were
  • "to provide artillery support to the marines"
    • Fixed
  • this may just be AustEng, but up-coming seems a weird hyphenation
    • Fixed
  • "four bombs landed closet" close?
    • Fixed
  • there is a mention of a Curtiss SC Seahawk, but I haven't seen a mention of onboard aircraft earlier?
    • For whatever reason, it seems that reconnaissance aircraft tend to be overlooked in many sources - we had the same problem with the British Revenges that you reviewed, as I recall. They're not insignificant pieces of equipment, so I don't know why Conway's, Friedman, Burt for British ships, etc. ignore them.
  • Breyer, Morison and Smith need a publication location
    • Added
  • File:USS Pennsylvania 1925 SLV Green.jpg needs a a US-PD licence
    • Added

That's me done, just placing on hold for the above to be addressed. Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 10:53, 14 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]

Thanks PM! Parsecboy (talk) 16:32, 16 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
This article is well-written, verifiable using reliable sources, covers the subject well, is neutral and stable, contains no plagiarism, and is illustrated by appropriately licensed images with appropriate captions. Passing. Nice work! Peacemaker67 (click to talk to me) 03:28, 17 April 2019 (UTC)[reply]
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