Talk:Typhoon Kujira (2003)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 02:57, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Guess I'll review it, since I'm familiar with 2003 PTS.

In the opening sentence, any reason the numbers and stuffs are small?
- Personal preference, typically I <small> abbreviations and extra designations, though if its a matter of consistency across the to-be 2003 PTS GTC, I'll fix it, and I did. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Any way to back up "extremely long-lived tropical cyclone"?
- Clarified the length of existence in the lead. If a reference is needed, there's GP for that. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"However, ultimately any effects in the archipelago associated with Kujira remained minimal." - a bit verbose
- Clipped it down to "However, effects on the island chain associated with the storm remained minimal." if that helps. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"What would eventually" - ehh, weird way to start a whole section. I'd say "The system that would..."
- Yeah, it's somewhat story-like. Changed. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"center remained displaced east" - both are verbs, so either say "center remained east" or "center was displaced east". Both are unnecessary IMO
- Axed 'displaced'. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"At 0000 UTC on April 11, the JMA would upgrade" - why use the conditional tense?
- Changed to 'JMA upgraded' TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"a shortwave trough caused Kujira to track slightly more north-northwestward" - it doesn't appear that way in the track map...
- Corrected to northwestward. It's a very slight change though, hence 'slightly'. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" the JTWC upgraded the typhoon to super typhoon intensity, the first of the year, while it was located while it was located 400 km (250 mi) north-northwest of Yap State." - the JTWC was located north-northwest of Yap?
- Changed 'it' to 'Kujira'.
"At roughly the same time Kujira reached its peak intensity with winds of 165 km/h (105 mph), roughly equivalent" - roughly overused. Also, in this sentence, I would clarify the 1-min winds, since that's what the SSHS is based on.
- Axed the 'roughly' before equivalent. The resulting sentence is, "At roughly the same time Kujira reached its peak intensity with winds of 165 km/h (105 mph). Estimated 1-minute sustained winds at that time were 250 km/h (155 mph), equivalent to that of a Category 4 hurricane on the Saffir–Simpson wind scale." Note number one should take care of the '10-min' in the first sentence. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
I'd clarify Amang is a local name.
- Added a note that reads "The PAGASA assigns names to tropical cyclones that enter their area of responsibility, regardless of its official JMA designation. This name is used locally and for PAGASA tropical cyclone monitoring purposes." TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"subsequent weakening.[3] This weakening trend" - remove the 2nd "weakening"
- Axed. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
How did Kujira cause the fatalities on Pohnpei?
- This article was, unfortunately, written during the government shutdown, so at the time I couldn't get my hands on the NCDC Storm Events or Storm Data archives. Thankfully those are back up now, so I was able to add additional info. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
Any more impact in Taiwan? You go a lot into preps but short on impact.
- Not that I know of. Searches in JMA, HKO, CWB, JTWC, GP, and Lexis Nexis do not present any further impacts other than what is already recorded. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
" In advance of the storm, several flights were cancelled due to poor visibility in Ehime Prefecture as a result of cloudy conditions onset by the nearby typhoon. " Some redundancy here (the storm.... by the nearby typhoon). Merge in the subsequent sentence.
- Axed the lead in (In advance...) and transitioned to next sentence via 'and'. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]
"As Kujira approached Japan, the storm brought rough seas to the Ryukyu Islands. Wave heights of 2.5 m (8.2 ft) were recorded" - again, merge these
- Merged. TheAustinMan^{(Talk·Works)} 23:03, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]

Generally decent article. Heavy on the preps side, but decent all around. --♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 02:57, 30 October 2013 (UTC)[reply]