Talk:Typhoon Irma (1981)/GA1

GA Review

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Reviewer: Hurricanehink (talk · contribs) 22:25, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

I'm gonna have to call shenanigans for the first sentence. It was only a C2. Betty in the previous year was a C3 at Philippine landfall.
- Changed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"The twenty-fifth named storm, fourteenth typhoon, and second super typhoon of the near-average 1981 Pacific typhoon season" - this is a long beginning to the sentence. I'd cut "near average"
- Cut that and the super typhoon bit. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Irma reached its peak wind speed of 205 km/h (125 mph)" - so this is per JMA, right? If so, you should clarify, as the mention of "super typhoon" earlier implies it uses JTWC winds.
- Removed the super typhoon mention. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
What is Malia, linked in the lede? There is no mention of Philippines there. Do you mean Manila?
- Yes. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Nearly 40,000 people were homeless. Irma destroyed or damaged 119,233 dwellings." - these are too short and choppy. Try merging.
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
"150th meridian east and the 170th meridian east" - why do you mention the longitude? That means nothing to most people.
- What else should I mention? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"After passing north of Guam, both agencies upgraded Irma into a tropical storm." - the agencies passed north of Guam?
- Reworked. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Thereafter, Irma turned east as a subtropical ridge built north and northwest of the storm" - the track doesn't suggest this.
- It's west now :P Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"and the later reporting winds" - I think you mean "latter"
- True statement. It has been corrected. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"as Irma neared landfall" - there a reason why this sentence begins lowercase?
- Corrected. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Virtually every house was demolished due to storm surge in Benagaspasan,[13] a small town with a population 1,000.[14] A total of 47 killed in the village. Thirty-seven were injured in Bengaspasan as well." - I feel like these three sentences could be killed.
- No way. That's where arguably the worst effects were. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"One army officer noted that died via electrocution while trying to fix the roof of his dwelling[19] in Makati." - poor grammar here, not sure what's going on.
- Better? Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
The pic in the impact section should be right-aligned to alternate with the storm path map.
- Fine. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
I kinda feel like Death by coconut should be linked here - "...and a farmer in Quezon died after being hit by a falling coconut."
- Done. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane
Does flooding really have to be linked?
- Removed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The majority of huts were flattened." - where?
- Axed with my hammer. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"sustained little damaged" - grammar
- Fixed. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"Seventy-two others were wounded." - I don't get why this is placed where it is. Why not put it where you mention the deaths?
- Moved. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]
"The decaying remnants of Irma then 105 to 150 mm (5 to 5 in) of rain and winds of up to 72 km/h (45 mph) to Okinawa." - missing verb
- Added. Y E ^Pacific ^Hurricane 23:20, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]

All in all, a decent article, but there are some issues. Lemme know when you take care of these. ♫ Hurricanehink (talk) 22:25, 8 May 2014 (UTC)[reply]