Talk:Tyler Clippard/GA1
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Reviewer: Wizardman (talk · contribs) 15:30, 10 September 2012 (UTC)
I'll give reviewing this one a shot. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:30, 10 September 2012 (UTC)
Here are the issues I found:
- "he transferred to J. W. Mitchell High School in New Port Richey, Florida.[3][4] He played for the baseball team at Mitchell." combining these two sentences would help with flow.
- Agreed, done. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:45, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- "Without the benefit of a senior season to show himself off to scouts," he did pitch a few innings, so change to "...of a full senior season.."
- Done. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:45, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- "and a K:BB ratio of " change to strikeout-walk ratio (so non-baseball people can figure that out), with that in parentheses if it's used later on.
- Fixed, surprised it was there. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:45, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- "He teamed with Phil Hughes to form the top 1–2 duo in the Eastern League." this should be cited.
- Done[1]. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:45, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- "2007, to the Washington Nationals for relief pitcher" no comma needed after 2007
- My understanding of grammar, such as it is, is that the comma is needed because it comes after the full date. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:45, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- "with the Columbus Clippers, now Washington's Class AAA affiliate" I presume you mean "then Washington's Class.."
Well, actually I was trying to distinguish between when Columbus served as NY's affiliate and when it became Washington's. I know that in present day they have Syracuse. Maybe I could add a footnote to clarify this? – Muboshgu (talk) 15:45, 14 September 2012 (UTC)- Nevermind that. I had thought for some reason that Clippard had pitched for Columbus when it was still the Yankee affiliate, and therefore it needed to be distinguished from when it served as Washington's affiliate. I see now that by the time Clippard reached AAA with NYY, it was with SWB. The word "now" is deleted. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:49, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- "by the third time the lineup turns over" turned over
- Done – Muboshgu (talk) 15:45, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- "Clippard began to struggle by July.[54]"how so? feels ike a bit more could be added there.
- I deleted it, actually. Clippard went into a little funk where his OPS allowed was up in June and July, and his July ERA was horrible, but he pitched well in the other months[2]. It looks like a blip that isn't particularly worth mentioning, as everybody has struggles from time to time. – Muboshgu (talk) 15:45, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
I'll put the article on hold and will pass it when the issues are fixed. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:23, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- Everything looks good now, so I'll pass the article. Wizardman Operation Big Bear 15:56, 14 September 2012 (UTC)
- Great! Thanks for the review. – Muboshgu (talk) 16:08, 14 September 2012 (UTC)