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GA Review

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Nominator: Mokadoshi (talk · contribs)

Reviewer: PerfectSoundWhatever (talk · contribs) 19:28, 29 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Hey, I'll review this one. Warning, that this will be my second ever GA review, so feel free to make comments or critisism towards me. I may also ask other editors for advice at points. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 19:28, 29 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

I'm going to add comments in no particular order. I'll add a comment when I'm done a particular criterion. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 17:36, 31 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 1: Well-written

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  • Italicise League of Legends in first sentence, the last paragraph of "2014–2016", the header "2018–present", and the first paragraph of "2018–present".
  • The lead is too short to summarize the article's main points. Look at other internet culture GA BLPs for reference, like SethBling or CaptainSparklez.
  • You mention the title of "Most Toxic Player" in the lead, but this isn't mentioned in the body. Since the lead is a summary of the body, add this to the body.
    • Similarily, mention the birth date in "Personal Life" or "Early Life"
  • There are many one-sentence paragraphs throughout the article. They should be copyedited and removed in most cases: "one-sentence paragraphs are unusually emphatic, and should be used sparingly."
  • Link Twitch streamer and YouTuber in infobox.
  • What is the "North American ladder"? Explain a bit more for those unfamilliar
  • I would change the word "slight" to something more widely understandable
  • "In April 2016" -> "In April 2016,"
  • In "2014–2016", much of the prose could really benefit from varying sentence structure. Much of it is either "He [did X]" or "His [X] did [X]".
  • "Going forward, Riot would ban" -> "Going forward, Riot banned"
  • "After becoming banned" -> "After being banned"
  • "in October" -> "in October,"
  • Subreddit is not capitalized.
  • "official r/LeagueOfLegends Subreddit's Discord server" is confusing. Is the subreddit official? Or is the server the official server of the unofficial subreddit? Rewrite for clarity.
  • Change "NOT" in caps to not, retaining the original formatting is not neccesary
  • "This record was broken a month later by Dr Disrespect's first stream" This is WP:OFFTOPIC for a biography of Tyler1. Remove.
  • When is "Today"? This is given in the first sentence of a section that apparently covers 2018 till now. Does "today" include 6 years ago? See MOS:RELTIME.
  • "He has won the "Best League of Legends Streamer" Why is this placed here? Put it when it happened in the timeline.
  • What were they playing at the "Streamer Showmatch"?
  • Italicise Polygon at "Austen Goslin".
  • "to prove a point" seems unneutral. According to who?
  • The layout is inconsistent. Why at the end of the timeline, after reaching 2024, we now jump to 2022 and talk about toxicity? Either re-organize it a different way in another section, or reincorporate everything into the timeline.
  • Explain what "wintrading" is.

That's complete, but not really comprehensive. Ideally, I'd do a second pass if all these are fixed. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 18:26, 31 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 2: Verifiable

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  • As far as I can tell, the Friedman Polygon source doesn't assert that Tyler1 is known as this title, its just one publication calling him that. Either find better sources to confirm that he is known by this title, or rewrite to say "according to Polygon...".
  • The infobox and categories say he's from Missouri, U.S. Where are the sources for this, and prose?
  • The "other names" section of the infobox is unsourced in the body. Add a source or remove.
  • Twich followers in infobox should have a citation.
  • There are not enough inline citations in "2014–2016". Potentially contentious statements that should have citations lack them and are creating ambiguity. For example, "Steinkamp later increased his toxic behavior in order to draw in more viewers" should not be cited by the same thing as "The video received over 2 million views on YouTube". See also WP:CITEDENSE
    • Same in the 2nd para of "2016–2018"
    • Same issue in 2018. A reminder that ALL direct quotes require inline citations immediately after per WP:MINREF.
  • The Central Methodist University citation is inadequate. It could, for example, be another person named Tyler Steinkamp and this could constitute as OR.

Sources

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  • Dexerto is not a reliable source. Per consensus at WP:RSP, it is "rarely suitable for use on BLPs". Please remove it and anything referenced to it, or find alternative sources.
  • What makes theScore esports a high-quality RS, or what makes Daniel Rosen a reliable reporter? This is a relevant discussion

Criterion 3: Broad

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  • At "2014–2016", is there any information of how he began playing the game, or playing games in general? Or anything about his early life at all? It's jarring to just begin his Career with him being a renowned League of Legends player.
  • Overall, this article mainly talks about Tyler1's toxicity controveries, gaming, and streaming career. But, it feels lacking in some aspects. What do publications think about him and his actions? What impact has he made on gaming and streaming as a whole? I haven't done a source search, so possibly this information doesn't exist online.

Criterion 4: Neutral

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  •  Not done but some comments regarding neutrality made above.

Criterion 5: Stable

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  • All good.

This criterion is complete. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 17:36, 31 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Criterion 6: Illustrated

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  • Images are correctly licensed. More images would be nice but I don't see any clear opportunities for those at the moment.

This criterion is complete. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 18:25, 31 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

Conclusion

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✗ Fail: Per Mokadoshi's comments on my talk page, I am going to quickfail the article, since the Dexerto sourcing problems (in addition to prose/layout/broadness issues) make it a "long way" to meeting GACR. Hopefully my comments can help to improve the article, thanks. Happy to give further comments or advice on this article in the future. — PerfectSoundWhatever (t; c) 18:38, 31 March 2024 (UTC)[reply]

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